Verses
on the Death of Dr. Swift, D.S.P.D.
by Jonathan
Swift |
Occasioned by reading a Maxim in Rochefoucauld.
|
As Rochefoucauld his Maxim drew |
From nature, I believe 'em true : |
They argue no corrupted mind |
In him; the fault is in mankind.
|
This Maxim more than all the rest |
Is thought too base for human breast ; |
'In all distresses of our friends |
We first consult our private ends, |
While nature kindly bent to ease us, |
Points out some circumstance to please
us.'
|
If this perhaps your patience move |
Let reason and experience prove.
|
We all behold with envious eyes, |
Our equal rais'd above our size
; |
Who would not at a crowded show, |
Stand high himself, keep others low ? |
I love my friend as well as you, |
But would not have him stop my view ; |
Then let me have the higher post ; |
I ask but for an inch at most.
|
If in a battle you should find, |
One, whom you love of all mankind, |
Had some heroic action done, |
A champion kill'd, or trophy won ; |
Rather than thus be over-topt, |
Would you not wish his laurels cropt ?
|
Dear honest Ned is in the gout, |
Lies rackt with pain, and you without : |
How patiently you hear him groan! |
How glad the case is not your own!
|
What poet would not grieve to see, |
His brethren write as well as he? |
But rather than they should excel, |
He'd wish his rivals all in hell.
|
Her end when Emulation misses, |
She turns to envy, stings and hisses : |
The strongest friendship yields to pride, |
Unless the odds be on our side.
|
Vain human kind! Fantastic race! |
Thy various follies, who can trace? |
Self-love, ambition, envy, pride, |
Their empire in our hearts divide : |
Give others riches, power, and station, |
'Tis all on me an usurpation. |
I have no title to aspire ; |
Yet, when you sink, I seem the higher. |
In Pope, I cannot read a line, |
But with a sigh, I wish it mine : |
When he can in one couplet fix |
More sense than I can do in six : |
It gives me such a jealous fit, |
I cry, Pox take him, and his wit.
|
Why must I be outdone by Gay, |
In my own hum'rous biting way?
|
Arbuthnot is no more my friend, |
Who dares to irony pretend; |
Which I was born to introduce, |
Refin'd it first, and show'd its use.
|
St John, as well as Pultney knows, |
That I had some repute for prose ; |
And till they drove me out of date, |
Could maul a minister of state : |
If they have mortified my pride, |
And made me throw my pen aside ; |
If with such talents Heav'n hath blest 'em |
Have I not reason to detest 'em?
|
To all my foes, dear Fortune, send |
Thy gifts, but never to my friend : |
I tamely can endure the first, |
But, this with envy makes me burst.
|
Thus much may serve by way of
proem, |
Proceed we therefore to our poem.
|
The time is not remote, when I |
Must by the course of nature die : |
When I foresee my special friends, |
Will try to find their private ends : |
Tho' it is hardly understood, |
Which way my death can do them good ; |
Yet, thus methinks, I hear 'em speak ; |
See, how the Dean begins to break : |
Poor gentleman, he droops apace, |
You plainly find it in his face : |
That old vertigo in his head, |
Will never leave him, till he's dead : |
Besides, his memory decays, |
He recollects not what he says ; |
He cannot call his friends to mind ; |
Forgets the place where last he din'd : |
Plies you with stories o'er and o'er, |
He told them fifty times before. |
How does he fancy we can sit, |
To hear is out-of-fashion'd wit? |
But he takes up with younger folks, |
Who for his wine will bear his jokes : |
Faith, he must make his stories shorter, |
Or change his comrades once a quarter: |
In half the time, he talks them round ; |
There must another set be found.
|
For poetry, he's past his prime, |
He takes an hour to find a rhyme : |
His fire is out, his wit decay'd, |
His fancy sunk, his Muse a jade. |
I'd have him throw away his pen ; |
But there's no talking to some men.
|
And, then their tenderness
appears, |
By adding largely to my years : |
'He's older than he would be reckon'd, |
And well remembers Charles the Second.
|
'He hardly drinks a pint of wine ; |
And that, I doubt, is no good sign. |
His stomach too begins to fail : |
Last year we thought his strong and hale
; |
But now, he's quite another thing ; |
I wish he may hold out till spring.'
|
Then hug themselves, and reason
thus ; |
'It is not yet so bad with us.'
|
In such a case they talk in
tropes, |
And, by their fears express their hopes : |
Some great misfortune to portend, |
No enemy can match a friend ; |
With all the kindness they profess, |
The merit of a lucky guess, |
(When daily howd'y's come of course, |
And servants answer ; Worse and worse) |
Wou'd please 'em better than to tell, |
That, God be prais'd, the Dean is well. |
Then he who prophesied the best, |
Approves his foresight to the rest : |
'You know, I always fear'd the worst, |
And often told you so at first': |
He'd rather choose that I should die, |
Than his prediction prove a lie. |
Not one foretells I shall recover ; |
But, all agree, to give me over.
|
Yet should some neighbour feel a
pain, |
Just in the parts, where I complain ; |
How many a message would be send? |
What hearty prayers that I should mend? |
Enquire what regimen I kept ; |
What gave me ease, and how I slept? |
And more lament, when I was dead, |
Than all the sniv'llers round my bed.
|
My good companions, never fear, |
For though you may mistake a year ; |
Though your prognostics run too fast, |
They must be verified at last.
|
'Behold the fatal day arrive! |
How is the Dean? He's just alive. |
Now the departing prayer is read : |
He hardly breathes. The Dean is dead. |
Before the passing-bell begun, |
The news thro' half the town has run. |
O, may we all for death prepare! |
What, has he left? And who's his heir? |
I know no more than what the news is, |
'Tis all bequeathed to public uses. |
To public use! A perfect whim! |
What had the public done for him! |
Mere envy, avarice and pride! |
He gave it all :- But first he died. |
And had the Dean, in all the nation , |
No worthy friend, no poor relation? |
So ready to do strangers good. |
Forgetting his own flesh and blood?
|
Now Grub-Street wits are all
employ'd ; |
With elegies, the town is cloy'd : |
Some paragraph in ev'ry paper, |
To curse the Dean, or bless
the Drapier.
|
The doctors tender of their fame, |
Wisely on me lay all the blame : |
We must confess his case was nice ; |
But he would never take advice : |
Had he been rul'd, for ought appears, |
He might have liv'd these twenty years : |
For when we open'd him we found, |
That all his vital parts were sound.'
|
From Dublin soon to London spread, |
'Tis told at Court, the Dean is dead.
|
Kind Lady Suffolk in the spleen, |
Runs laughing up to tell the Queen. |
The Queen, so gracious, mild and good, |
Cries, 'Is he gone? 'Tis time he should. |
He's dead you say ; why let him rot ; |
I'm glad the medals were forgot. |
I promis'd them, I own ; but when? |
I only was the Princess then ; |
But now as Consort of the King, |
You know 'tis quite a different thing.'
|
Now, Chartres at Sir Robert's
levee |
Tells, with a sneer, the tidings heavy : |
'Why, is he dead without his shoes?' |
(Cries Bob) 'I'm sorry for the news ; |
Oh, were the wretch but living still, |
And in his place my good friend Will ; |
Or, had a mitre on his head |
Provided Bolingbroke were dead.'
|
Now Curl his shop from rubbish
drains ; |
Three genuine tomes of Swift's remains. |
And then to make them pass the glibber, |
Revis'd by Tibbalds, Moore, and Cibber, |
He'll treat me as he does my betters. |
Publish my will, my life, my letters. |
Revive the libels born to die ; |
Which Pope must bear, as well as I.
|
Here shift the scene, to represent |
How those I love, my death lament. |
Poor Pope will grieve a month ; and Gay |
A week ; and Arbuthnot a day.
|
St John himself will scare
forbear, |
To bite his pen, and drop a tear. |
The rest will give a shrug and cry |
I'm sorry ; but we all must die. |
Indifference clad in wisdom's guise, |
All fortitude of mind supplies : |
For how can stony bowels melt, |
In those who never pity felt ; |
When we are lash'd, they
kiss the rod ; |
Resigning to the will of God.
|
The fools, my juniors by a year, |
Are tortur'd with suspense and fear. |
Who wisely thought my age a screen, |
When death approach'd to stand between : |
The screen remov'd, their hearts are
trembling, |
They mourn for me without dissembling.
|
My female friends, who tender
hearts |
Have better learn'd to act their parts, |
Receive the news in doleful dumps, |
'The Dean is dead, (and what is
trumps?) |
Then Lord have mercy on his soul. |
(Ladies I'll venture for the Vole.) |
Six Deans they say must bear the pall. |
(I wish I knew what King to call.) |
Madam, your husband will attend |
The funeral of so good a friend. |
No Madam, 'tis a shocking sight, |
And he's engag'd to-morrow night! |
My Lady Club wou'd take it ill |
If you shou'd fail her at Quadrill. |
He lov'd the Dean. (I lead a heart.) |
But dearest friends, they say, must part. |
His time was come, he ran his race ; |
We hope he's in a better place.'
|
Why do we grieve that friends
should die? |
No loss more easy to supply. |
One year is past ; a different scene ; |
No further mention of the Dean ; |
Who now, alas, no more is mist, |
Than if he never did exist. |
Where's now the fav'rite of Apollo? |
Departed ; and his works must follow
: |
Must undergo the common fate |
His kind of wit is out of date. |
Some country squire to Lintot goes, |
Enquires for Swift in verse and prose : |
Says Lintot, 'I have heard the name : |
He died a year ago.' The same |
He searcheth all his shop in vain; |
'Sir you may find them in Duck-lane : |
I sent them with a load of books, |
Last Monday to the pastry-cooks. |
To fancy they could live a year! |
I find you're but a stranger here. |
The Dean was famous in his time ; |
And had a kind of knack at rhyme : |
His way of writing now is past ; |
The town hath got a better taste : |
I keep no antiquated stuff ; |
But, spick and span I have enough. |
Pray, do but give me leave to show-em ; |
Here's Colley Cibber's Birth-day Poem. |
This Ode you never yet have seen, |
By Stephen Duck, upon the Queen. |
Then, here's a Letter finely penn'd |
Against the Craftsman and his friend ; |
It clearly shows that all reflection |
On ministers, is disaffection. |
Next, here’s Sir Robert's Vindication, |
And Mr. Henly's last Oration : |
The hawkers have not got 'em yet, |
Your Honour please to buy a set?
|
'Here's Wolston's Tracts, the
twelfth edition ; |
'Tis read by ev'ry politician : |
The country members, when in town, |
To all their boroughs send them down : |
You never met a thing so smart ; |
The couriers have them all by heart : |
Those Maids of Honour (who can read) |
Are taught to use them for their creed. |
The Rev'rend author's good intention, |
Hath been rewarded with a pension : |
He doth an honour to his gown, |
By bravely running priest-craft down : |
He shows, as sure as God's in Gloster, |
That Jesus was a Grand Imposter : |
That all his miracles were cheats, |
Perform'd as jugglers do their feats : |
The Church had never such a writer : |
A shame, he hath not got a mitre!'
|
Suppose me dead ; and then suppose |
A club assembled at the Rose ; |
Where from discourse of this and that, |
I grow the subject of their chat : |
And, while they toss my name about, |
With favour some, and some without ; |
One quite indiff'rent in the cause, |
My character impartial draws :
|
'The Dean, if we believe report, |
Was never ill receiv'd at Court : |
As for his works in verse and prose, |
I own my self no judge of those : |
Nor, can I tell what critics thought 'em
; |
But, this I know, all people bought 'em ; |
As with a moral view design'd |
To cure the vices of mankind : |
His vein, ironically grave, |
Expos'd the fool, and lash'd the knave : |
To steal a hint was never known, |
But what he writ was all his own.
|
'He never thought an honour done
him, |
Because a Duke was proud to own him : |
Would rather slip aside, and choose |
To talk with wits in dirty shoes : |
Despis'd the fools with stars and
garters, |
So often seen caressing Chartres : |
He never courted men in station, |
Nor persons had in admiration ; |
Of no man's greatness was afraid, |
Because he sought for no man's aid. |
Though trusted long in great affairs, |
He gave himself no haughty airs : |
Without regarding private ends, |
Spent all his credit for his friends : |
And only chose the wise and good; |
No flatt'rers ; no allies in blood ; |
But succour'd virtue in distress, |
And seldom fail'd of good success; |
As numbers in their hearts must own, |
Who, but for him, had been unknown.
|
'With princes kept a due decorum, |
But never stood in awe before 'em : |
And to her Majesty, God bless her, |
Would speak as free as to her dresser, |
She thought it his peculiar whim, |
Nor took it ill as come from him. |
He follow'd David's lesson just, |
In Princes never put thy trust. |
And, would you make him truly sour ; |
Provoke him with a slave in Power : |
The Irish Senate, if you nam'd, |
With what impatience he declaim'd! |
Fair LIBERTY was all his cry ; |
For her he stood prepar'd to die ; |
For her he boldly stood alone ; |
For her he oft expos'd his own. |
Two kingdoms, just as faction led, |
Had set a price upon his head ; |
But, not a traitor could be found, |
To sell him for six hundred pound.
|
'Had he but spar'd his tongue and
pen, |
He might have rose like other men : |
But, power was never in his thought ; |
And, wealth he valu'd not a groat : |
Ingratitude he often found, |
And pitied those who meant the wound : |
But, kept the tenor of his mind, |
To merit well of human kind : |
Nor made a sacrifice of those |
Who still were true, to please his foes. |
He labour'd many a fruitless hour |
To reconcile his friends in power ; |
Saw mischief by a faction brewing, |
While they pursu'd each other's ruin. |
But, finding vain was all his care, |
He left the Court in mere despair.
|
'And, oh! how short are human
schemes! |
Here ended all our golden dreams. |
What St John's skill in state affairs, |
What Ormond's valour, Oxford's cares, |
To save their sinking country lent, |
Was all destroy'd by one event. |
Too soon that previous life was ended, |
On which alone, our weal depended. |
When up a dangerous faction starts, |
With wrath and vengeance in their hearts: |
By solemn league and cov'nant bound, |
To ruin, slaughter and confound ; |
To turn Religion to a fable, |
And make the government a Babel : |
Pervert the Law, disgrace the Gown, |
Corrupt the Senate, rob the Crown ; |
To sacrifice old England's glory, |
And make her infamous in story. |
When such a tempest shook the land, |
How could unguarded virtue stand?
|
'With horror, grief, despair the
Dean |
Beheld the dire destructive scene : |
His fiends in exile, or the Tower, |
Himself within the frown of power ; |
Pursu'd by base envenom'd pens, |
Far to the land of slaves and fens ; |
A service race in folly nurs'd, |
Who truckle most, when treated worst.
|
'By innocence and resolution, |
He bore continual persecution ; |
While numbers to preferment rose ; |
Whose merits were, to be his foes. |
When, e'en his own familiar friends |
Intent upon their private ends ; |
Like renegados now he feels, |
Against him lifting up their heels.
|
'The Dean did by his pen defeat |
An infamous destructive cheat. |
Taught fools their int'rest how to know ; |
And gave them arms to ward the blow. |
Envy hath own'd it was his doing, |
To save that helpless land from ruin, |
While they who at the steerage stood, |
And reapt the profit, sought his blood.
|
'To save them from their evil
fate, |
In him was held a crime of state. |
A wicked monster on the bench, |
Whose fury blood could never quench ; |
As vile and profligate a villain, |
As modern Scroggs, or old Tressilian ; |
Who long all justice had discarded, |
Nor fear'd he GOD,
nor man regarded ; |
Vow'd on the Dean his rage to vent, |
And make him of his zeal repent ; |
But Heav'n his innocence defends, |
The grateful people stand his friends |
Not strains of law, nor judge's frown, |
Nor topics brought to please the Crown, |
Nor witness hir'd, nor jury pick'd, |
Prevail to bring him in convict.
|
'In exile with a steady heart, |
He spent his life's declining part ; |
Where, folly, pride and faction sway, |
Remove from St John, Pope and Gay.
|
'His friendship there to few confin'd, |
Were always of the middling kind : |
No fools of rank, a mongrel breed, |
Who fain would pass for lords indeed : |
Where titles give no right or power, |
And peerage is a wither'd flower, |
He would have held it a disgrace, |
If such a wretch had known his face. |
On rural squires, that kingdom's bane, |
He vented oft his wrath in vain : |
Biennial squires, to market brought ; |
Who sell their souls and votes for naught
; |
The nation stript go joyful back, |
To rob the Church, their tenants rack, |
Go snacks with thieves and rapparees, |
And, keep the peace, to pick up fees : |
In every job to have a share, |
A jail or barrack to repair ; |
And turn the tax for public roads |
Commodious to their own abodes.
|
'Perhaps I may allow, the Dean |
Had too much satire in his vein ; |
And seem'd determin'd not to starve it, |
Because no age could more deserve it. |
Yet, malice never was his aim ; |
He lash'd the vice but spar'd the name. |
No individual could resent |
Where thousands equally were meant. |
His satire points at no defect, |
But what all mortals may correct ; |
For he abhorr'd that senseless tribe, |
Who call it humour when they gibe : |
He spar'd a hump or crooked nose, |
Whose owners set not up for beaux. |
True genuine dullness mov'd his pity, |
Unless it offer'd to be witty. |
Those, who their ignorance confess'd, |
He ne'er offended with a jest ; |
But laugh'd to hear an idiot quote, |
A verse from Horace, learn'd by rote.
|
'He knew an hundred pleasant
stories, |
With all the turns of Whigs and Tories : |
Was cheerful to his dying day, |
And friends would let him have his way.
|
'He gave the little wealth he had, |
To build a house for fools and mad : |
And show'd by one satiric touch, |
No nation wanted it so much : |
That kingdom he hath left his debtor, |
I wish it soon may have a better.'
|
Jonathan Swift | Classic
Poems |
|
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