I'll Keep It With Mine

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David
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I'll Keep It With Mine

Post by David » Sat Sep 21, 2019 4:53 pm

You went into the kitchen and you cried.
A Dylan song you hadn't heard before,
heard now, too late, I think exemplified
the good things that you should have had in store,
the little treats the future would have brought
at intervals, each stately and in time.
To Whom could we appeal, to Whom report
this accident, this tragedy, this crime?

Come on, give it to me
I'll keep it with mine

Macavity
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Re: I'll Keep It With Mine

Post by Macavity » Sun Sep 22, 2019 7:10 am

Neatly done David. I don't have a great knowledge of Dylan, but the framing of the lyric in the 'kitchen sink' drama, a song setting off regretful tears, will connect with many readers (who are weighted with discontented hearts).
this accident, this tragedy, this crime?
Being ungodly, not believing in fate, not accepting individual responsibility, I tend to blame the weather.

The ambivalence of the concluding empathy resonates.

all the best

mac

ray miller
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Re: I'll Keep It With Mine

Post by ray miller » Sun Sep 22, 2019 11:19 am

Very good. I'm guessing the subject is someone who can't have children for whatever reason. Or maybe cannot look after her children. Might be wrong. Lines 7 and 8 I like a lot. It's a strange song, I think, I've never quite got my head around these lines -
I can't help it if you might think I am odd
If I say I'm not loving you for what you are
But for what you're not.


Dylan at his most oblique. If he said I'm loving you not for what you are... I'd find it a bit clearer, but no.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.

Macavity
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Re: I'll Keep It With Mine

Post by Macavity » Sun Sep 22, 2019 11:38 am

Whoops...didn't pick up on the child angle...a darker read for that

bjondon
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Re: I'll Keep It With Mine

Post by bjondon » Mon Sep 23, 2019 12:49 pm

Hi David - yes, I love the play between the genteel fatherly voice here and Dylan's loquacious obliquities - that have the capacity to be endlessly repurposed - here the nod to the N's youth and the generous, wry inclusion of his/her son's/daughter's devastation at being dumped.
J

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JJWilliamson
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Re: I'll Keep It With Mine

Post by JJWilliamson » Sat Sep 28, 2019 8:03 am

A tad enigmatic for me, David, but an intriguing piece nonetheless. I suppose that was part of your intent, especially with your reference to Dylan.

Incidentally, you just sparked a discussion between Di and myself about Good ol' Bob. I love his songs but she doesn't like him too much, citing that he was a rich boy pretending. Just saying. :)

Are you referencing a specific song? It certainly feels that way. I keep trying to see what this is about and am left with the feeling of tragedy, especially one concerning a child. It could also be about a failed relationship. The close doesn't feel tragic enough to be about death, so I'm probably barking up the tree of wrongfulness again.

The iambic pentameter is flawless, and the rhymes are delightful AND pretty tricky. Admired them, I did.
The rhythms change in the couplet, of course.

Overall I enjoyed this poem but was still left mid-air.

Best

JJ
David wrote:
Sat Sep 21, 2019 4:53 pm
You went into the kitchen and you cried.
A Dylan song you hadn't heard before,
heard now, too late, I think exemplified
the good things that you should have had in store,
the little treats the future would have brought
at intervals, each stately and in time.
To Whom could we appeal, to Whom report
this accident, this tragedy, this crime?

Come on, give it to me
I'll keep it with mine
Long time a child and still a child

David
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Re: I'll Keep It With Mine

Post by David » Sat Oct 05, 2019 11:55 am

Thanks all. I'm afraid this is an extension of my all too reprehensible habit of talking - retrospectively - to the dead. Who that is is not necessarily relevant here.

So it's a very personal one. I appreciate the comments, as ever, but - in this case - they're not likely to change the thing very much. (It actually - possibly - has a part in a larger, already existing sequence. So I am here, in effect, not saying "what do you think of this clock?", but rather "what do you think of this cogwheel?" Which is an unreasonable question to ask anyone.)

Specifically, however, seeing you're worth it (copyright L'Oreal) ...

Mac, Ray, Jules, I'm very glad you liked it. The scenario you have seen is not quite the right one, but - for the purpose of the poem standing alone (if it does), anyway - I don't think that matters.

JJ, I am a big fan of certain songs - even certain albums - but I'm currently reading a biography of the Bobster (by Bob Spitz), in which he is appearing as pretty much the little shite as I thought he might be. Or, to be fair, as we've only got as far as the mid-60s as yet, as he might have been. He wasn't a rich boy pretending, though. He was a middle class Jewish boy from the Midwest pretending.

It is a specific song. It's the title of the poem! A lovely one, but you can only find it on one of the Biograph discs.

Cheers all

David

P.S. Bob famously said that, whenever he used the word "you" in his songs, he was really referring to himself. That's a slippery little get-out clause for him, but it ain't the case here. Or ever, for me, really. So far as you remember.

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