New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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penguin
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by penguin » Wed Oct 26, 2016 3:55 pm
If only they’d known - those poor fellows
who’ve protested when up in front of the beak,
that she appeared to be much older
than sixteen. If they knew they’d been looking
in all the wrong places, then of course,
they would never have gone there at all.
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Moth
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by Moth » Wed Oct 26, 2016 10:42 pm
Excellent thinking there, Pen, and what a thought! Will remember this for sure. Who've would read better as who imo.
to be totally honest... whenever you feel you really shouldn't write that, that's exactly what you should write.
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penguin
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by penguin » Thu Oct 27, 2016 10:21 am
Moth wrote:Excellent thinking there, Pen, and what a thought! Will remember this for sure. Who've would read better as who imo.
Thanks, Moth. Perhaps you're right, but I'll probably change more than that.
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cynwulf
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by cynwulf » Thu Oct 27, 2016 10:58 am
Yes, a very apt poem, thinking of certain recent legal proceedings, well expressed.
Regards, c.
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penguin
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by penguin » Thu Oct 27, 2016 3:28 pm
Thanks, Cynwulf.
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David
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by David » Sun Oct 30, 2016 7:09 pm
cynwulf wrote:Yes, a very apt poem, thinking of certain recent legal proceedings, well expressed.
Exactly. Unfortunately.
David