Homage to WW1 Tanks

[Antcliff]

Nothing wrong with tanks.
They have their uses. Not many - true;
and not a daily vehicle for me or you.
Unless you’re some mad old colonel
down by Loch Buie,
living at the house of Old Sassoon. Well,
then you’ll drive in your weird metal box,
circling in the baffled glen;
like that stone circle, lost to reasons; or,
dumpling in your own mental stew.
But you’d still need to brew.
And there’d be no way
to climb the hill for teabags,
reach the village shop - no way to steer.
You’d get caught up, I know the spot,
tread off your tank, the social workers due.
Verdun, you’re done.
No, not a daily vehicle
for me, or even you.

[David]

This is a nice piece of whimsy, and I like the use of quirky local detail - the mad old / colonel down by Loch Buie, / living at the house of / Old Sassoon. The leap from circling to the stone circle is interesting, and dumpling seems to have become a present participle, which is a fun idea.

In terms of sound, the last seven lines are my favourite, especially "Verdun, you’re done" - but did they have tanks at Verdun? But that enquiry might be out of place in a jolly poem like this. And I do wonder what sparked it (the poem) off! What have you seen on the road this morning?

Cheers

David

[Antcliff]

David,
Thanks. Glad you liked it and the various features.

It partly comes from the time of a brief chat on ww1 tanks in the January Small Stones between Ian and myself. But the weather is so good that I want to get to the spot mentioned (again)..so poem was on my mind again. Nothing creaky on the roads today but highland cattle.

I have been in deep denial about the question of tanks at Verdun ever since it was written. I refused to look it up, knowing the line would stay anyway.

There is a little stone circle not far from the house of Old Sassoon. It is here.

 

[Magpie Jane]

This poem is a very strange creature. I like it awfully much.
For some reason it made me think of the Walled City of Kowloon. Now I'll have to figure out how & why that is so.
I'll come back to it tomorrow.
G'night.

Jane

[Antcliff]

Jane,
thank you. it is a strange creature. It is a ferlie, that has hidden in the notebook too for long. Now it has escaped.

I am googling Kowloon..

seth

[twoleftfeet]

Nicely entertaining in a surreal, Milliganesque kind of way.

The "Verdun/You're done" line, of course, is my favourite.

I couldn't resist g000gling tanks and verdun, but my extensive research (about 5 mins in total) proved inconclusive.
Apparently at the end of the battle neither the Frogs* nor the Krauts* had gained any territory so it is not inconceivable
that, even if no tanks were used in the battle itself, they might have been around at that location later.

I was convinced that "homage" has 2 "m"s , as in French - just goes to show what I know!

As N seems (to me) to be er.. eccentric, I would suggest the last line should be "you or even me".

George

* ramping up the xenophobia in preparation for the Euros.

[Antcliff]

George,
thanks.

Nicely entertaining in a surreal, Milliganesque kind of way.
The "Verdun/You're done" line, of course, is my favourite.

I'll take Milliganesque.

..they might have been around at that location later.

I am hoping to just squeek by....

As N seems (to me) to be er.. eccentric, I would suggest the last line should be "you or even me".

Good suggesto George! Thanks for it. As you discern, the subject matter is as much eccentric N as anything else.

* ramping up the xenophobia in preparation for the Euros.

Football = the acceptable face of Xenophobia. Don't get your hopes up. The last time they won anything = nearly 50 years ago. Mind you, the last time Scotland won = 500 years ago.

Cheers
Seth

[Magpie Jane]

A ferlie! What a wonder-word; I've taken an immediate and unconditional shining to it.

But we were talking about your poem.
I like the way you arranged the lines in the new version. I also like that it's still largely the same text (it is, isn't it?).
What a tale, what a setting, and O, what a protagonist! Is he real, tank and all? You know, I'm perfectly ready to believe in this.

To mention my favourite passages:
Unless you’re some mad old colonel
down by Loch Buie,

and then -
You’d get caught up, I know the spot,
tread off your tank, the social workers due.

The stone circle video was great too. I particularly liked the stone that looked like a perplexed teddy bear.

Jane


PS: And never mind about Kowloon; it was a coracle of association that somehow ran aground there.

[Antcliff]

Hi Jane,
I first saw "ferlie" in..

http://www.bartleby.com/101/367.html

Glad you liked the re-lined version. Some here have preached the gospel of the longer line to me and they are right. I am needlessly short at times. Content is same.

Is he real? Sadly no. He is an amalgam. His tale is a metaphor for, shall we say, imprudent-to-mad projects.

The ingredients of the amalgam are various. Loch Buie is nor far from where I live. There is an endlessly propped up castle there (Castle Moy, which features in the film "I know where I'm going") and a stone circle and a cottage once owned by the family of Siegfried Sassoon. Hence the www1 link. It is a long way from a shop and you would have no chance of going up into Glen More in your tank. I laughingly associate that part of the island with eccentric war related figures fading into the heather and wearing their uniforms to bed.

I will have a look when I go for the perplexed teddy bear stone. I had not noticed that. Love that.


Seth

[Wilcken]

Hi Seth,

Yes to the whimsical quality, almost Dr. Seuss with an elevated game. I like the line "dumpling in your own mental stew" quite a lot.

Also enjoyed the video, and by your explanation and responses so far, you are comfy with a very loose set of personal associations between the location, the tank and the stone circle. I'm hardly one to question that as (you well know) I make many associations and leaps in my own work, but it is true that this poem does not really bring the two together in any way that is apparent to me.

Still, this is fun in a way that is a nonsensical approach to the nonsensical nature of war.

Wilcken

[Antcliff]

Hi Wilko, thanks for the shout from the hosta truck. Thanks for liking whimsy. Love this..

almost Dr. Seuss with an elevated game

And liking that line and your good question.

you are comfy with a very loose set of personal associations between the location, the tank and the stone circle... but it is true that this poem does not really bring the two together in any way that is apparent to me.

By "two" do you mean the tank and location? Are you asking why that location rather than, say, anywhere else? Good question.

Well, yes, perhaps only because of Sassoon link, the not mentioned box-shaped eccentic castle and the not mentioned fact that it has the only stone circle on the island. All loose, yes. Of course you could say..but why the island at all? In which case I can only weakly say "why not? It has to be somewhere" and run naked into the cold water of the loch. That indeed might not be enough. I will see if I can add to text in a way that helps..thanks. I should perhaps talk of the box shaped castle, which perhaps was partial inspiration.

Here it is..

http://www.moycastle.com/


seth

[Wilcken]

By "two" do you mean the tank and location? Are you asking why that location rather than, say, anywhere else? Good question.

Oops. By two I meant three. But ya know, my question is to myself as well. I feel like I'm asking a question I'm supposed to ask as a reader, and yet I'm trying to become the reader (and the writer) I want to be, not the one I'm supposed to be. There are plenty of people filling those spots. So it goes to my wondering whether it matters, whether the poem needs to be cohesive in a way that Google or links to additional sources help me to decipher. Especially in this case, where I just plain like the poem without knowing all of the detailed ins and outs, all the while being aware that -- even if you had not provided them -- I can so quickly pull up resources to tie up the loose ends. More and more I am leaning towards the way a group of poems (written by the same person) inform each other and create meaning within their own context rather than trying to analyze a poem as it exists all on its own. Your work seems to be a good candidate for that sort of reading as a family of poems (or collection, or whatever sort of a grouping we might call it) so I wonder whether the question would even come up if I were to find this amidst the rest, or whether I would just be in the world of your poems where it would make its own sense rather than the sort of sense we make by connecting the google and wiki dots. Something like that, is what I was asking (you and me both).

Wilcken

[Antcliff]

wonder whether the question would even come up if I were to find this amidst the rest, or whether I would just be in the world of your poems where it would make its own sense rather than the sort of sense we make by connecting the google and wiki dots. Something like that, is what I was asking (you and me both).

Roger, Wilko. Very well explained. I will ponder that. It touches on a question that is increasingly absorbing me. Too little clarity in a poem and reader becomes irritated, too much and they nod and move on. Perhaps a poem is like a second date. Enough info to get close, but still secrets.

seth

[ray miller]

Why WW1 tanks, not just tanks? Did they become more mobile in time? the baffled glen is very nice. Not so fond of the next 2 lines, thought you were on about Stonehenge with the stone circle.Dumpling in a mental stew - nah!The arrival of the social workers is a nice touch.

[Antcliff]

Thanks Ray,
bring in the social workers. Yeh, WW2 tanks were much more mobile. WW1 tanks, well...limitations. I'm not sure they would get out of the car park.

[Magpie Jane]

Old tanks are rather sweet, I think.

[Antcliff]

I so agree Jane! They are so human. They look like suits of armour saying "Hello, you'd rather not get killed in the war. Well sit in me and pretend that you are sardines. Okay, if we have to move a few feet, we will. But seriously, I know you don't really care as long as there is metal around you.."

[David]

Did they become more mobile in time?

I like that idea! What a great TV programme that would be. The Time Tank. I can see the opening credits now.

And is this not an apposite bit of Jakery?

[Antcliff]

And is this not an apposite bit of Jakery?

Brilliant.

Nearby Castle Duart was partly rebuilt by Fitzroy MacLean, clan chief, possible James Bond. I am not saying "Friggin Brigadier". Someone might.

seth

[John G]

An enjoyable romp!

Conjures great images, tanks chugging (do they chug?) over hill and dale while the driver searches for tea bag. Great!

For some reason I'm picturing Lionel Jeffries from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, pith helmeted and singing.

Yeah, good work!

[Antcliff]

Hi John,
Thanks for reading and welcome thoughts.
Pleased to meet you.

Yes, Lionel Jeffries in Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang...definitely in the vicinity there.

seth