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Any closet novelists, short story writers, script-writers or prose poets out there?
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Ros
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Re: Small world

Post by Ros » Tue Mar 22, 2016 2:20 pm

An interesting idea, this. I like the conversation but I'm puzzled by the characters. I'm not convinced that 'Sexual Tourist' tells us enough to know why they feel they carry the world - presumably that role has led to this? Why? And I don't get the relationship with Small Pest, or who that might represent.

Ros
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Firebird
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Re: Small world

Post by Firebird » Wed Mar 23, 2016 11:07 am

I love the idea behind this and found the dialogue simple and engaging. But I agree with Ros about the characters' names. I tend to think that they limit the story even though they are generic.

I read your story as a fable about how peoples' peccadilloes, if they continue to do them, eventually catch up with them and they find the weight of their would harder and harder to take/live with, and how easily this type of life is slipped into without really even knowing it.

Maybe a couple of well chosen animals might work better here, or you could maybe write into the conversation a few peccadilloes that imply that the big character is anything but perfect, and do away with the character names all together. Just have a man/women and a child. Only an idea.

Thanks for posting.

I really enjoyed it.

Cheers,

Tristan

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