Crossroads

Any closet novelists, short story writers, script-writers or prose poets out there?
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Transparent
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Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 11:20 pm

Re: Crossroads

Post by Transparent » Sat Aug 22, 2015 7:42 am

HI Kamy,

I haven't been on this board in a LONG time - so I'm probably a bit rusty! Still, I'd like to offer a couple of thoughts.

I like that you've written a fairly unique perspective piece - a "crossroads" is an interesting vantage point, and I found myself wondering how I might observe all that was happening around me.

Your writing, even in such a brief sample, is very text-dense, if not perhaps a bit "purple". We writers always have so much to say, and it often seems an injustice to trim some particularly eloquent pieces. However, I'm of the opinion that we needn't use a thousand dollar word when a hundred dollar one will suffice. Having said that, there were a couple of gems in your piece: "canvas for the sky's knitting" was a good one. It's a clever interpretation of the routine, repackaged in a way that made me read it more than once to fully appreciate it.

It's a rough first edit, but there's lots of meat on those bones! Keep up the good work.

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