The Golden Age......[ProsePoem Version]

Any closet novelists, short story writers, script-writers or prose poets out there?
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JohnLott
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The Golden Age......[ProsePoem Version]

Post by JohnLott » Tue Jul 05, 2011 12:16 pm

Take me down the dusty roads of time, when real men ruled and from their wages bought five Woodbine and several pints of ale on a raucous weekend night, before returning to their hovelled plight and their grey women. Women who knew their place was a space in the kitchen or on hard bed which shook the floor as another miner’s tyke was made, joining the three in the mildewed room next door.

Take me to my Grandad’s prime, when oiled machines hummed and thrummed and red hot swarf harmed hand and eye and silent fibres of asbestos dust brought on the cough that caused the lesser men to crawl away and die.

Take me to the glory days, when marching ants in scarlet coats, white gloved hands, white cockatoo plumed hats and blue serge pants stained the world the unhealthy pink of conquered lands and, leaving trails of blood, showed how low a nation could sink. While back home, the white roses of Kew still bloomed and continued spawning the men of men who aspired to be leaders, Christian and Victorian.

[Poem of same name posted in Beginners' Forum]
Last edited by JohnLott on Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Golden Age......[ProsePoem Version]

Post by Magpie Jane » Mon Jul 11, 2011 12:39 am

Hi John, I want to say I think this is quality writing.

I've been to the Beginners' department (ach, so many rooms in this mansion I haven't had time to explore properly yet!) and read your two other versions as well.
As far as I can see, this one provides the best and the most powerful flow. Your very rhythmical verse-version has a pronounced appeal of its own; but this prose-poem version ploughs deeper: the subject-matter really comes into character here, where you give it sufficient line-length to pick up a momentum. Gives the reader more substance to chew on, so to speak.

And it does deserve being bitten into and chewed well. Thought-provoking stuff, I say, and thanks for a terrific read. (Golden age, good heavens.)

Jane
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Re: The Golden Age......[ProsePoem Version]

Post by JohnLott » Mon Jul 11, 2011 10:55 pm

Thank you Jane.
That makes you my favourite person at the moment (we are such fickle people).......
Seriously, it is good to receive positive feedback occasionally - that is the incentive to carry on and try to get better.

:D :D

J.
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Deryn
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Re: The Golden Age......[ProsePoem Version]

Post by Deryn » Sun Jan 29, 2012 7:26 pm

Hi John, you might be surprised to see your prose poem commented on again ?
Well, I've just been reading a poetry magazine I'd picked up and I was pretty downhearted as non of the poems in the magazine spoke to me. I was feeling quite inadequate as I just couldn't 'understand' where the poets were coming from. I thought I would take a look through the forum for some consolation and came across 'The Golden Age.'

I knew after just reading the first line that I was going to enjoy it. And if for nothing else, I am commentating just to say 'I enjoyed it John.' No technical comments I'm afraid. But the prose does speak to me and it takes me to a place in time that I enjoy reading about.

Thanks for cheering me up.

Deryn

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Re: The Golden Age......[ProsePoem Version]

Post by Antcliff » Tue Jan 31, 2012 1:19 am

Hey yes..I'm with Deryn..from before my time, but this is very good John. Also very good example of one of those poems that seem to be and are polemical, but yet, a wee bit, love what they condemn.
Cheers,
Ant
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Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
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Jackie
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Re: The Golden Age......[ProsePoem Version]

Post by Jackie » Wed Jul 31, 2013 2:56 pm

Thank you for this, John. It stimulates poetic thinking as I read it. It reminds me very much of Edward Hirsch's poem, "Special Orders":
Give me back my father walking the halls . . .
http://bigthink.com/videos/edward-hirsch-reads-aloud

Jackie

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Re: The Golden Age......[ProsePoem Version]

Post by Caffoy » Sat Mar 19, 2016 9:49 pm

Beware the unwritten rules, Ros is top dog and will make sure you are embarrassed publicly.
Last edited by Caffoy on Thu Mar 24, 2016 7:04 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: The Golden Age......[ProsePoem Version]

Post by Jackie » Sun Mar 20, 2016 5:34 pm

I especially like the grey women's space in the kitchen—not even the whole kitchen!

And the title—not letting the sarcasm out right away but letting it build, little by little.

Jackie

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