Words

Words

Postby Danté » Sat Jan 10, 2009 6:52 pm

Sometimes he would alter
an entire verse,
take out the parts I liked,
accompany his terse remarks
with “cheers.”

Other times he would say
my grammar
made no sense at all,
and that the whole piece
was unsalvageable.

On new years eve, he asked,
“Have you opened a bottle yet?
...and don't remind me
how old I am again.”

I had never mentioned his age.

It took me a while to realise
that he was referring
to the content of my poem,
days in fact.

“nice one

Barrie”
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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Re: Words

Postby Elphin » Sat Jan 10, 2009 10:16 pm

Sometimes he would change an entire verse, sometimes just a comma...

and most often he was right!

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Re: Words

Postby Lake » Sun Jan 11, 2009 4:40 am

Thanks Danté for your "Words".

This reminds me that Barrie always got his pruners ready for my poems to cut them into better shapes.

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Re: Words

Postby twoleftfeet » Thu Jan 15, 2009 9:03 pm

Elphin wrote:Sometimes he would change an entire verse, sometimes just a comma...

and most often he was right!

elph


Nuff said

Nice one, Dante
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