Ode to Albert - Revision

New Competition - ***MAPS***

Ode to Albert - Revision

Postby Luce » Wed Feb 01, 2017 12:42 am

Ode To Albert - Revision

Here lies Albert,
such a sweet cat,
except when he’d leave
gouges down your back.

No fault of his. His owner blames his dad,
a bully and a cad he was.
And then there was his mom, poor lad,
who duly stalked her own back paws.

But their child, her treasure,
was really not that fiendish
unless you count the time
he bit her husband’s penis.

One day a dog got Albert,
as he took a piss in a tulip cup.
She got the shovel from the shed
and scraped poor Albert up.

So here lies Albert, as black
as a witches' soul and just as mean.
"But really he was such a lamb," she plead.
His shroud was a pair of stained blue jeans.


Ode To Albert

Here lies Albert,
such a sweet cat,
except when he’d leave
gouges down your back.

No fault of his. I blame his dad,
a bully and a cad he was.
And then there was his mom, poor lad,
who stalked her own back paws.

But their child, my treasure,
was really not that fiendish
unless you count the time
he bit my husband’s penis.

One day a dog got Albert,
as he took a piss in a tulip cup.
I got my shovel from the shed
and scraped poor Albert up.

So here lies Albert, as black
as a witches' soul and just as mean.
But really he was such a lamb.
Alas, it was only in my dreams.

Luce
Last edited by Luce on Fri Feb 17, 2017 9:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain,
like a bullet to your brain.

Livin' La Vida Loca - Ricky Martin
User avatar
Luce
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
 
Posts: 482
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:25 am
Location: Not so sunny Florida

Re: Ode to Albert

Postby bodkin » Wed Feb 01, 2017 8:38 am

We usually put each entry in its own post... I've moved it for you.
http://www.ianbadcoe.uk/
User avatar
bodkin
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 3155
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2008 9:51 pm
Location: Two inches behind my eyes just above the bridge of my nose.

Re: Ode to Albert

Postby Luce » Wed Feb 01, 2017 5:32 pm

bodkin wrote:We usually put each entry in its own post... I've moved it for you.


Thanks Ian.

Luce
She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain,
like a bullet to your brain.

Livin' La Vida Loca - Ricky Martin
User avatar
Luce
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
 
Posts: 482
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:25 am
Location: Not so sunny Florida

Re: Ode to Albert

Postby bodkin » Fri Feb 03, 2017 3:23 pm

Enjoyed. I'm intrigued where the edges of fabrication and reality lie? Maybe you had no cat at all? Or maybe Albert's completely real but the given behaviour a vile calumny?

Ian
http://www.ianbadcoe.uk/
User avatar
bodkin
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 3155
Joined: Sun Dec 21, 2008 9:51 pm
Location: Two inches behind my eyes just above the bridge of my nose.

Re: Ode to Albert

Postby Ros » Fri Feb 03, 2017 3:56 pm

And then there was his mom, poor lad,
who stalked her own back paws.

Brilliant image!

Ros
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
___________________________
Antiphon - www.antiphon.org.uk
User avatar
Ros
Moderator
Moderator
 
Posts: 7969
Joined: Sun Dec 07, 2008 4:53 pm
Location: this hill-shadowed city/of razors and knives.

Re: Ode to Albert

Postby Luce » Fri Feb 03, 2017 11:36 pm

Ian & Ros - Thanks for looking at this one.

Albert and his parents are composites of all the cats I've known, heard about and cared for.

My own three cats and the ones I fostered varied in behavior from gentle giant to fiend. On top of that are my friends and relative experiences with their cats. And yes, one cat actually bit his owner in the penis. Thank God the owner was wearing jeans but he still had to go to the Doctor because some blood was drawn. Another cat seemed to think his back paws and tail were the enemy. He was diagnosed with a neurological disorder and had to be put on sedatives to stop him from tearing his paws and tail to shreds.

As far as the cat peeing in the tulip cup...ahhh....that honor goes to Flynn, my gentle giant, whom I caught taking a whiz right into a droopy tulip cup. My husband was delighted with that one. "Well, at least he didn't pee on the grass," he said. "Good cat!!"

As far as the lie goes, the big lie is the owner desperately wanting and saying that her cat is a sweet cat
and not the fiend that everyone else plainly sees. However, in the end, she acknowledges that all the lies can't cover up the "devil cat" she has.

Luce
She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain,
like a bullet to your brain.

Livin' La Vida Loca - Ricky Martin
User avatar
Luce
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
 
Posts: 482
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:25 am
Location: Not so sunny Florida

Re: Ode to Albert

Postby JJWilliamson » Sat Feb 04, 2017 4:30 pm

Great poem but the last line could do with a lift. I know what you're saying but it smacks of cliché.

You were only kidding or fooling yourself into believing the cat was no fiend, when the reality was he was meaner than a manipulating Jackal.

Enjoyed

JJ
Long time a child and still a child
User avatar
JJWilliamson
Preternatural Poster
Preternatural Poster
 
Posts: 1652
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:20 am

Re: Ode to Albert

Postby Luce » Tue Feb 07, 2017 7:14 pm

JJ - Sorry for the late thank you. I appreciate the feedback.

Luce
She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain,
like a bullet to your brain.

Livin' La Vida Loca - Ricky Martin
User avatar
Luce
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
 
Posts: 482
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:25 am
Location: Not so sunny Florida

Re: Ode to Albert - Revision

Postby Luce » Fri Feb 17, 2017 9:14 am

Just thought I'd revise the entry. I changed from first person to third. Something to do at 4 am. Can't seem to get to sleep tonight.

Luce
She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain
She'll make you live her crazy life but she'll take away your pain,
like a bullet to your brain.

Livin' La Vida Loca - Ricky Martin
User avatar
Luce
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
 
Posts: 482
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:25 am
Location: Not so sunny Florida


Return to Competition Time

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group