From A Hypnotherapist's Case File (revision)

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Macavity
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From A Hypnotherapist's Case File (revision)

Post by Macavity » Tue Jul 28, 2020 7:06 am

revision

i

The customers lips are moist for primal cuts.
A fondness of meat spirals in their DNA.
My father, his father, born to be scholars
of butchery. I was a butcher for the Legion,
young boys hunger for offal. Now, I stroll
Parisian boulevards and parks, a voyeur
of the choicest joints - they're hand
in hand, spring hearted like lambs. Succulence
that promises such treats for the palate.
Yes, though blood carries the same smell,
I know some will bloom redder than others.
Humans evolve with an acquired taste.

ii

My brother, Dafydd ap Gruffydd, fastened
to a wooden panel and drawn by horse
to Shrewsbury. Hanged there to the point
of death, emasculated, disembowelled,
beheaded and quartered - abstracted
across the realm of King Edward:
head spiked on the Tower of London;
his broken hand displayed in York;
the left arm in Bristol; his wrenched leg
and hip at Hereford. The malodorous
map of this traitor I executed to order.

iii

She sleeps. The canopic jars wait:
Hapi, baboon headed, grins for
the breath of my lover's lungs. Duanetef,
jackal mouth drooling. Imseti,
face lighted with an anticipation
of liver. Qebehsenuef, falconed eyed,
dreaming a feast of intestines. My lover's
skin glistens in oils, balanos blended
with myrrh and cinnamon. I disrobe
and share my scent, though priests paint
the shadows with incantation. I genuflect
before Anubis. What weight is my heart?



original

i

The customers lick lips for primal cuts.
A fondness of meat spirals in their DNA.
My father, his father, born to be scholars
of butchery. I was a butcher for the Legion,
young boys hunger for offal. Now, I stroll
Parisian boulevards and parks, a voyeur
of the choicest joints - they're hand
in hand, frolicking like lambs. Succulence
that promises such treats for the palate.
Yes, though blood carries the same smell,
I know some will bloom redder than others.
Humans evolve with an acquired taste.

ii

My brother, Dafydd ap Gruffydd, fastened
to a wooden panel and drawn by horse
to Shrewsbury. Hanged there to the point
of death, emasculated, disembowelled,
beheaded and quartered - abstracted
across the realm of King Edward:
head spiked on the Tower of London;
his broken hand displayed in York;
the left arm in Bristol; his wrenched leg
and hip at Hereford. The malodorous
map of this traitor I executed to order.

iii

She sleeps. The canopic jars wait:
Hapi, baboon headed, grins for
the breath of my lover's lungs. Duanetef,
jackal mouth drooling. Imseti,
face lighted with an anticipation
of liver. Qebehsenuef, falconed eyed,
dreaming a feast of intestines. My lover's
skin glistens in oils, balanos blended
with myrrh and cinnamon. I disrobe
and share my scent, though priests paint
the shadows with incantation. I genuflect
before Anubis. He weighs my heart.
Last edited by Macavity on Wed Jul 29, 2020 6:29 am, edited 2 times in total.

NotQuiteSure
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Re: Tales From A Hypnotist

Post by NotQuiteSure » Tue Jul 28, 2020 11:53 am

.
Hi mac,
like the components, but it feels like it lacks a conclusion (why these three and not any other?)
Not sure about the title, would 'The Hypnotherapist' be more accurate? Or Infinite Regression?

i
Any way for this to begin at line 3? I found ii, beginning 'my brother' had an immediacy that i doesn't (but so easily could). Similarly, might iii begin, 'My sister-wife'?
'frolicking like lambs', I can see why it's there, but ... frolicking! :) Stops me every time. (could 'grass fed lambs' work?)
Don't get 'with an acquired taste' ... help.

My father, his father, born to be scholars
of butchery. I was one such for the Legion,
young boys hunger for offal. Old, I stroll
Parisian boulevards and parks, now
a voyeur of the choicest joints - they're hand
in hand, frolicking like lambs. Succulence
that promises such treats for the palate.
I know some will bloom redder than others.
Yes, but all blood carries the same smell,
Humans evolve with an acquired taste.
The customers salivate over primal cuts

ii
Perhaps 'there to be Hanged' ?
I really like 'abstracted across the realm ... ' do you then need 'emasculated, .... and quartered'? It belabours a point that will be better made. Like 'malodorous map' as well. If you cut 'to order' wouldn't you gain an ambiguity (is the speaker the king or the executioner)?

iii
Wasn't keen on 'share my scent' (where's the royalty there?) nor 'genuflect'. If Anubis is weighing N's heart, then N is dead.


Regards, Not


.

Macavity
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Re: Tales From A Hypnotist

Post by Macavity » Tue Jul 28, 2020 2:33 pm

Thanks as always for your close reading Not. As always much to ponder. :D
like the components, but it feels like it lacks a conclusion (why these three and not any other?)
I wanted some historical continuity.
Not sure about the title, would 'The Hypnotherapist' be more accurate?
That is an option, I did want an element of surprise and horror for the hypnotist, but then a context and recognition that the 'coded' problem persists would make sense.
Don't get 'with an acquired taste' ... help.
A taste for human flesh, which is, of course, considered abnormal and certainly not progressive! The line is ironic in that N. has not acquired through 'learning', but because of his genetic code.
If Anubis is weighing N's heart, then N is dead.]
This is not literal, more a weighing of N.'s 'humanity' (on the light side I'd say)

all the best

mac

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Re: Tales From A Hypnotist

Post by NotQuiteSure » Tue Jul 28, 2020 3:41 pm

.
Hi mac,
thanks for the explanation(s).
Just realised I cut a line from your original unintentionally, i could end
The customers salivate over primal cuts
A fondness of meat spirals in their DNA.


I tend now to think of 'hypnotist' as lacking the prefix 'stage' (may just be me though :) )
From the Hypnotherapists Case Files ?

'On the light side' would be a positive in AE theology (given that the heart is weighed against a feather), and isn't a non-literal
interpretation something of a 'modern' interpretation? Would the person (re)living that life have that viewpoint?
Macavity wrote:
Tue Jul 28, 2020 2:33 pm
not acquired through 'learning', but because of his genetic code.
(L3) suggested the opposite, to me. How is anthropophagy different (except culturally) from eating any other sort of flesh?
You might find this interesting though
https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn18172-gene-change-in-cannibals-reveals-evolution-in-action/#

Regards, Not


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Macavity
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Re: Tales From A Hypnotist

Post by Macavity » Tue Jul 28, 2020 5:26 pm

From the Hypnotherapists Case Files
I think you're right there Not. The word Tales rather undermines the poem.

all the best

mac

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Re: From A Hypnotherapist's Case File

Post by Jackie » Tue Jul 28, 2020 5:40 pm

Hi Mac,
This is not literal, more a weighing of N.'s 'humanity'
So these are the narratives of one hypnotized person; not three as I was thinking. A person who haunts Parisian streets but identifies with/participated in past events where bodies are dismembered to re-purpose each part; in 13th century Britain to demonstrate power and in ancient Egypt to prepare the dead for the afterlife.

But the canopic jars/gods that should protect the body parts are salivating human flesh eaters. Anubis a jackal god. N is a jackal, or has a jackal heart? I'm wondering why S1 and S3 are in the present tense, and S2 in the past. S2 doesn't feel as "up close and personal" as the others.

Still thinking,
Jackie

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Re: From A Hypnotherapist's Case File

Post by Macavity » Tue Jul 28, 2020 5:45 pm

Thanks Jackie. Yes, it is one person, never to escape the evil that they are, were, and always will be. The voices are from different time periods so I'm ok with the detached coldness of S2.

best

mac

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