Without Explanation

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NotQuiteSure
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Without Explanation

Post by NotQuiteSure » Thu Apr 30, 2020 1:23 pm

.
Without Explanation


At the Zoo
were lots of questions
about how the silverback gorilla
came to have his hat and coat.

Returning
late from lunch, no-one said
a word about the banana
he left hanging on his hook.



.
Last edited by NotQuiteSure on Mon May 04, 2020 12:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Firebird
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Re: Without Explanation

Post by Firebird » Fri May 01, 2020 8:54 pm

Hi Not,

Well, I think it needs an explanation :D .

Cheers,

Tristan

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JJWilliamson
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Re: Without Explanation

Post by JJWilliamson » Sat May 02, 2020 8:47 am

I thought it was about looks and behaviour, the superficial versus the complex.
If so, I like it. It's one of those I'd enjoy reading and thinking about on a plane.

Best

JJ
Long time a child and still a child

NotQuiteSure
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Re: Without Explanation

Post by NotQuiteSure » Sun May 03, 2020 2:03 pm

.
Hi Tristan, JJ.
Thanks for the read.
Firebird wrote:
Fri May 01, 2020 8:54 pm
Well, I think it needs an explanation :D .
I'll give it a while longer. :)
JJWilliamson wrote:
Sat May 02, 2020 8:47 am
It's one of those I'd enjoy reading and thinking about on a plane.
Is that you're way of saying never, JJ? When do you think you're getting on a plane again? :)

Regards both, Not


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TrevorConway
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Re: Without Explanation

Post by TrevorConway » Sun May 03, 2020 8:14 pm

Hmmm, intriguing, Not! Nicely surreal. Just felt too short/underdeveloped, maybe even to the point of feeling like a riddle as much as/more than a poem. Another couple of verses in the middle could make for a very entertaining read.

T
NotQuiteSure wrote:
Thu Apr 30, 2020 1:23 pm
.
Without Explanation


At the Zoo
were lots of questions
about how the silverback gorilla
came to have his hat and coat.

Returning
late from lunch, no-one said
a word about the banana
he left hanging on his hook



.

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Firebird
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Re: Without Explanation

Post by Firebird » Sun May 03, 2020 9:44 pm

Ok, I’ll try again. ‘Without Explanation’ I think must refer to ‘the banana he left hanging on a hook’, because no one is asking questions about it, when they are about the silverback. So is the irony which you are going for that we try to explain unusual animal behaviours, but not humans who are possibly behaving like a money. Or/and is it to do with what we are meant to focus on in the zoo ...?

Cheers,

Tristan
NotQuiteSure wrote:
Thu Apr 30, 2020 1:23 pm
.
Without Explanation


At the Zoo
were lots of questions
about how the silverback gorilla
came to have his hat and coat.

Returning
late from lunch, no-one said
a word about the banana
he left hanging on his hook



.

ton321
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Re: Without Explanation

Post by ton321 » Mon May 04, 2020 12:08 am

Hi Not,

My take is that this is about perception of what's normal/abnormal and the contrast between the two. I suppose the question arises in the second stanza about what banana hanging from what hook. I like how the lines balance out in each stanza -needs fleshing out a lot more to make it work from an emotional point of view, but interesting,
Tony
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves

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Re: Without Explanation

Post by Macavity » Mon May 04, 2020 8:11 am

Like it a lot Not.

I feel the title undermines the poem, though I understand a more specific title closes meaning. Perhaps 'Open to Explanation', though again that invites a meaningless tag and really the poem works because the reader wants to interpret. I presume it was a big coat :D

You need a full-stop after hook

best

mac

NotQuiteSure
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Re: Without Explanation

Post by NotQuiteSure » Mon May 04, 2020 12:24 pm

.
Hi Trevor, Tristan, Tony, and (last and non-alliteratively) mac.

Let me begin by saying, in the spirit of Priti Patel: I'm sorry if people feel there have been failings in the provision of answers to their questions. I will be very clear about that. But ...

Trevor - Not sure if surreal plus explanation still equals surreal.

Tristan - (see Trevor). This came out of an ekephrastic challenge where the image was, obviously, a banana hanging from a hook (upper half of the background cream/yellow, lower dark blue) - which prompted the question, how did it come to be there? The image reminded me of Magritte and so tried to write something surreal. Two colour background, two verses. In neither verse are answers given (despite questions being asked in the first, and because none are in the second).

Tony - I tried to hide a little emotion in L6 (admittedly you'd have to dig pretty far to find it :) )

Mac,
Macavity wrote:
Mon May 04, 2020 8:11 am
I presume it was a big coat
Big coat conclusion to leap to. I never said the gorilla (who I really want to call Ché, but won't!) was 'wearing' the hat and coat.
Macavity wrote:
Mon May 04, 2020 8:11 am
I feel the title undermines the poem
Yes., fair enough. It was more a vain attempt to forestall demands for explanations (which has worked brilliantly so far) :) The original title was the, rather predictable, Fair Trade (which tottered into Slippery), but now, given the general hostility towards the current one I'm inclining more towards Unpeeled.
Full stop reinstated :)

Thanks all,


Regards, Not


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Firebird
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Re: Without Explanation

Post by Firebird » Mon May 04, 2020 1:05 pm

Well blow me down. I don’t think I know the image you are referring to. Is it by Magritte? If it is maybe a little hint in the title to him might help? It’s certainly surreal.

Cheers,

Tristan

TrevorConway
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Re: Without Explanation

Post by TrevorConway » Tue May 05, 2020 11:28 am

Hey again, Not.

I wouldn't suggest explaining in any additional verses - keep it surreal. Re the riddle reference, it's the shortness (combined with the enigmatic subject) that makes it feel like a riddle; the suggestion to add additional stuff was mainly as I felt it would make the poem more enjoyable (a read that feels too short is unsatisfying), as well as the fact that it would take it a bit further away from riddle territory (at least in my mind anyway).

T
NotQuiteSure wrote:
Mon May 04, 2020 12:24 pm
.

Trevor - Not sure if surreal plus explanation still equals surreal.

T

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