Psychodrama

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ray miller
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Psychodrama

Post by ray miller » Mon Feb 10, 2020 10:52 am

Her last performance was Greta Garbo:
off camera, incommunicado;
acting with cowardice or bravado
to silence the hiss of the Thought Gestapo.

Exhausted by the demand to pretend
and cover the cuts that make-up won’t mend.
How like her to buck an established trend
and exit the stage on a masculine end.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.

NotQuiteSure
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Re: Psychodrama

Post by NotQuiteSure » Mon Feb 10, 2020 2:24 pm

.
Hi ray,
very nice.

The only major question for me is could the opening sentence run on (somehow) until 'mend'?
Something like
...
to silence the hiss of the Thought Gestapo,

exhausted by constant demands to pretend
and paper the cracks that
... ?

Minor questions
'was as Greta Garbo' ?
'and to exit the stage' ?

Actually, not sure about the title. Doesn't seem to fit with the final line.


Regards, Not


.

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Firebird
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Re: Psychodrama

Post by Firebird » Wed Feb 12, 2020 7:45 am

Hi Ray,

I’m a little baffled by this. I follow it up to line 6. Is it about a transsexual? Sure it’s just me missing the point.

Cheers,

Tristan

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JJWilliamson
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Re: Psychodrama

Post by JJWilliamson » Fri Feb 21, 2020 5:50 am

This is surely about Caroline Flack.

Sad, desperate, confused and in the end lost.

S2 L1 ...excellent. Spot on imho, because of the strain of pretending.

Enjoyed the R & R. Thought it was all very well done, actually, with a succinct and poignant delivery.
The brevity added to the drama as it heralded a silence.

Best

JJ
Long time a child and still a child

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Re: Psychodrama

Post by Poet » Fri Feb 21, 2020 5:59 am

ray miller wrote:
Mon Feb 10, 2020 10:52 am
Her last performance was Greta Garbo:
off camera, incommunicado;
acting with cowardice or bravado
to silence the hiss of the Thought Gestapo.

Exhausted by the demand to pretend
and cover the cuts that make-up won’t mend.
How like her to buck an established trend
and exit the stage on a masculine end.
I like it, quite whimsical, mostly the two end lines.

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Re: Psychodrama

Post by Firebird » Fri Feb 21, 2020 10:48 am

Yes, it makes perfect sense when related to Caroline Flack. I didn’t make the leap though. Why not call it ‘Taking Flack’. Or maybe just ‘Flack’.

Cheers,

Tristan

ray miller
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Re: Psychodrama

Post by ray miller » Mon Feb 24, 2020 9:49 am

Thanks all. It's not about Caroline Flack, whose existence I was unaware of until it was no longer there. It's about someone I knew when I was a Mental Health Nurse who ended her life by hanging, a fashion that's generally regarded as a male province. Women are said to favour the "softer options" like overdosing. So that's meant to explain the final two lines. I know it's obscure, but I like it.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.

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Re: Psychodrama

Post by bjondon » Tue Feb 25, 2020 1:07 pm

Very good - now that you've explained it.
The relentless hammer-to-the-head end rhymes fitting the path she was on.
It feels like a tribute of sorts. Should we have her name? - 'The Life of ...'?
Something about the way you've phrased the Garbo bit makes it sound as if that was a separate episode withe 'cowardice or bravado' epithet attached to that.

Maybe 'make-do' instead of 'make-up'.

Jules

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