Brian

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ray miller
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Brian

Post by ray miller » Sun Nov 17, 2019 3:53 pm

Are you dead or reviving?
You’re such a literary lion,
yet you’re invariably sighing
as you prowl round the cage
lines leap out from the page
and the herd run off trumpeting.

Or was that I heard a siren?
Since you broke into the asylum,
I’ve dug your deeds done abroad
with a pen and a sword,
at least that’s what I thought –
now I’m strangely discomfited.

There’s been a local revolution:
you’ve gone from Galahad to gruesome;
pampered, pomaded, kind of Proustian,
as you soak in the bath with a toe in the tap,
your luxurious lap is warmed by a draught
of rosemary and lavender.

And I wonder, is this below the belt or under?
I shouldn’t wish to make a blunder
by employing a word like beneath
because it causes you grief.
Was that the gnash of your teeth?
You have still got your teeth, haven’t yer?
Last edited by ray miller on Tue Nov 26, 2019 11:56 am, edited 1 time in total.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.

Dryanddeadwords
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Re: Brian

Post by Dryanddeadwords » Mon Nov 18, 2019 8:54 am

He sounds delightful! Wish it was me😂 Assuming, that is, that the title character is my apparent alter-ego!

Quite a curious rhythm driving this on, a little bumpy in places to be honest. Though it really does drive, with a mostly entertaining barrage of images and ideas. Feels a bit too personal in places for a general reader, (the jumping about from lion to asylum, to Galahad and Proust leaves me dizzy and confused) but the curiosity is piqued enough to go with it.

Bonkers and baffling, but quite the riot. Thanks ray.

Dylan

bjondon
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Re: Brian

Post by bjondon » Mon Nov 18, 2019 12:04 pm

Yes, I think we can read 'Brian' as 'Brain' … brain-dead or just an outside chance of being revived?
Delicious first rhyme with 'lion'.
Jules

Suzanne
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Re: Brian

Post by Suzanne » Mon Nov 18, 2019 4:47 pm

Oh Ray, you are quite a creative writer, amazing poet. You must have books of them now.

I fully enjoyed this.

Suzanne

ton321
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Re: Brian

Post by ton321 » Wed Nov 20, 2019 11:46 pm

Hi ray
Its a bit deliberately oblique, but there's a rhythm to it that pulls you through. Good last line about a lion without its gnashers,
Tony
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves

ray miller
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Re: Brian

Post by ray miller » Tue Nov 26, 2019 11:59 am

Thanks all. The rhythm is from an old Arctic Monkeys song -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30w8DyEJ__0
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.

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