v4 (the 'little bit longer' version)
RIP
Look Upon My Earthworks*, Ye Many, and Despair
or
dic
Came the day after the night before
there was raised such a great hue and cry
as over the land a mighty flood poured,
people a wailing, flung open their doors
and scoured the Union desperate to find
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
But empty were Grey Ditch, Rowe Ditch, Short
Ditch, Combs Ditch (Dorset), Brent Ditch, Bran.
Deserted were Launditch, the Welsh Lower Short
Ditch, in no ditch were signs of that man.
Yet who would fain doubt him, him
or his word? A statesman of stature,
'twas surely absurd. And so with alacrity,
by belief spurred, they began in the morning
light. Solemn and sombre, they searched, low
and low: four countries combed, dolorous
hollow, a teary-eyed fellowship hoping to spy
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
But empty were Bank Slack, Battery and Beachley,
Becca's, and Bolster, Bury's and Crugyn. Deserted
were Double, the Coombe Bank (at Reading),
in each bank were signs of him lacking.
Some, with long memories, urged them
to caution, remembering how he'd committed
to print, that very same notion, 'he'd in a ditch
to preserve the prawn cocktail crisp'. But no!
sayeth Gammon, set your doubt aside. For this
was for Brexit, and so woe betide Remoaners
who think that we will not find
the ditch in which Johnson has died.
But empty were Deil's Dyke, Offa's and the South
Dyke, Hoedic, Ruedic, Clawdd Mawr (Dyfed).
Deserted were Fron Hill, Wansdyke, Vervil, Na Doirse,
Foulding and Fleam. In no dyke were signs of him seen.
***
Like pilgrims they are, in search of a shrine,
marching to where ere a martyr might lie,
each wanting to witness the true sacrifice, see
the body made beautiful, pure, incorruptible,
laurelled and lying there, there in a ditch -
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
Look Upon My Earthworks*, Ye Many, and Despair
or
dic
Came the day after the night before
there was raised such a great hue and cry
as over the land a mighty flood poured,
people a wailing, flung open their doors
and scoured the Union desperate to find
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
But empty were Grey Ditch, Rowe Ditch, Short
Ditch, Combs Ditch (Dorset), Brent Ditch, Bran.
Deserted were Launditch, the Welsh Lower Short
Ditch, in no ditch were signs of that man.
Yet who would fain doubt him, him
or his word? A statesman of stature,
'twas surely absurd. And so with alacrity,
by belief spurred, they began in the morning
light. Solemn and sombre, they searched, low
and low: four countries combed, dolorous
hollow, a teary-eyed fellowship hoping to spy
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
But empty were Bank Slack, Battery and Beachley,
Becca's, and Bolster, Bury's and Crugyn. Deserted
were Double, the Coombe Bank (at Reading),
in each bank were signs of him lacking.
Some, with long memories, urged them
to caution, remembering how he'd committed
to print, that very same notion, 'he'd in a ditch
to preserve the prawn cocktail crisp'. But no!
sayeth Gammon, set your doubt aside. For this
was for Brexit, and so woe betide Remoaners
who think that we will not find
the ditch in which Johnson has died.
But empty were Deil's Dyke, Offa's and the South
Dyke, Hoedic, Ruedic, Clawdd Mawr (Dyfed).
Deserted were Fron Hill, Wansdyke, Vervil, Na Doirse,
Foulding and Fleam. In no dyke were signs of him seen.
***
Like pilgrims they are, in search of a shrine,
marching to where ere a martyr might lie,
each wanting to witness the true sacrifice, see
the body made beautiful, pure, incorruptible,
laurelled and lying there, there in a ditch -
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
* a by no means exhaustive list (pace E. Grigg)
________________________
v3 (The Short Version)
dic
Came the day after the night before
there was raised such a great hue and cry
as over the land a mighty flood poured,
people a wailing, flung open their doors
and scoured the Union desperate to find
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
For who would fain doubt him, a man
of his word? A statesman of stature,
'twas surely absurd and so with alacrity,
by belief spurred, they began in the morning
light. Solemn and sombre, they searched, low
and low: four countries combed, inconsolable,
hollow, a teary-eyed fellowship hoping to spy
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
Some, with long memories, urged them
to caution, remembering how he'd committed
to print, that very same notion, to die in a ditch
and preserve the prawn cocktail crisp. But no!
sayeth Gammon, cast all doubt aside. For this
was for Brexit, and so woe betide Remoaners
who think that we will not find
the ditch in which Johnson has died.
Like pilgrims they are, in search of a shrine,
marching to where ere a martyr might lie,
wanting to witness the true sacrifice, see
the body made beautiful, pure, incorruptible,
laurelled and lying there, there in a ditch -
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
__________________________________
.....................RIP
Look Upon My Earthworks, Ye Many, and Despair
......................or
.....................dic
Came the day after the night before
there was raised such a great hue and cry
as over the land a mighty flood poured,
people awailing, flung open their doors
and scoured the Union desperate to find
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
But empty were Grey Ditch, the Great Ditch,
the Short Ditch, Rowe Ditch and Combs ditches,
Brent Ditch and Bran. Deserted were Launditch,
the Welsh Lower Short Ditch, Aves and Hug's
and the ditch at Bicham. Vacant was Aelfrith's,
Nico's, the Devil's, in no Black or Grim's ditch
was sign of their man.
Yet who would fain doubt him, him
or his word? A statesman of stature,
twas surely absurd and so with alacrity,
by belief spurred, they began in the morning
light. Solemn and sombre, they searched, low
and low: four countries combed, inconsolable,
hollow, a teary-eyed fellowship wanting to spy
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
Frantic they ransacked all the old banks,
Becca's and Bury's, Bolster's and Beachley's.
Coombe bank and Bank Slack, Double and Battery's
Bunns' and the Grim's Bank, over in Padworth,
but signs of Johnson? Sadly a dearth.
Those with long memories urged them
to caution, remembering how he'd committed
to print, that very same notion, to die in a ditch
and preserve the prawn cocktail crisp. But no!
sayeth Gammon, cast all doubt aside. For this
was for Brexit, and so woe betide Remoaners
who think that we will not find
the ditch in which Johnson has died.
They searched Inkpen and Reach Dyke, The Old
Dyke of Wansdyke, Gilling Wood, Giant's Grave,
Dorsey, Military Way, Heron Bridge and The Rein,
Catrail, Park Pale, Dodman, Shepherd’s Well,
Wallace's Trench, Bardon Mill, Stepper Point,
Giant's Hedge, Pear Wood and Pepper Hills Firs -
but no sign of Johnson was observed.
They searched Abernaint, Broomhead, Car, Heriot’s,
Calver, Clawdd Mawr Foel, They searched Fron Hill.
Rudgate and Bar, Tor and Bica's, Fullinga, Festaen
and Vervil. They searched Horning and Hayling Wood,
Minchinhampton Bulwarks, Panworth, Dane's Cast,
Ponter's Ball, Devil's Mouth, Pen y Clawdd, Roman Rig,
Red Hill, King's Wicket, Surry-Kent Dyke and King Lud's
Entrenchment -
but all sign of Johnson was absent.
They searched Bedwyn and Wantyn, Foulding
and High, the East Tisted-Colemore, Bokerley
Dyke. St Edmund’s, Whitford, Mount Pleasant,
Clawdd Mawr and Clawdd Seri. They searched
Offa's and Upper Short, Aberchan, the Oxford Road,
Wonston, Cefn-y-Crug, Froxfield, for all the good
it did them -
as no sign of Johnson was revealed.
The searched Two Trumps, Senghenydd,
Bedd Eiddil, Ty Newydd, the Clawdd Llesg dyke
and Cefn Morfydd, they searched Fleam -
but, of Johnson, no sign was to be seen.
They searched the Common at Crookham,
and the Mechain Cantref, Grim's Dyke (in Harrow)
and Radnor Forest, Wat's Dyke, Deil’s Dyke,
Dane and the South dykes, The Black Pig's,
Kerry dykes, Tisted Cross Valley dyke.
Cefn Eglwysilan and Tywn Hywel. Tor Clawdd,
Ffos Toncenglau, Bwlch Garw, Tyla-Glas, Cowlod,
Clawddtrawscae, Bwlch yr Afan and Bwlch y Cibau -
but they descried no signs of their man.
Like pilgrims they are, in search of a shrine,
still looking wherever a martyr might lie,
still hoping to witness the true sacrifice,
see the body made beautiful, pure, incorruptible,
laurelled and lying there, there in a ditch -
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
______________________________
RIP dic
Came the day after the night before
there was raised such a great hue and cry
as over the land a mighty flood poured,
people awailing, flung open their doors
and scoured the whole Union desperate to find
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
In a panic they ransacked all the old banks,
Becca's and Bury's, Bolster's and Beachley's.
Coombe bank and Bank Slack, Double and Battery's
Bunns' and the Grim's Bank, over in Padworth
but each one was empty - of Johnson, a dearth.
Yet who would fain doubt him, a man
of his word? A statesman of stature,
twas surely absurd and so with alacrity,
by belief spurred, they began in the morning
light. Solemn and sombre, they searched, low
and low: four countries combed, careful and slow,
an eager-eyed fellowship hoping to spy
the ditch in which Johnson had died.
But empty were Grey Ditch, the Great Ditch, the Short
Ditch, Rowe Ditch and Combs ditches, Brent Ditch
and Bran. Vacant was Aelfrith's, Nico's, the Devil's:
in no Black or Grim's ditch did they find their man.
Deserted too Launditch, the Welsh Lower Short Ditch,
Aves and Hug's, and the ditch at Bicham.
Though those with long memories urged them
to caution, remembering how he'd committed
to print, that very same notion, to die in a ditch
and preserve the prawn cocktail crisp. But no!
sayeth Gammon, cast all doubt aside. For this
is for Brexit, and so woe betide Remoaners
who think that we will not find
the ditch in which Johnson has died.
Yet some grew to wondering if they'd misheard,
if the word used was dyke and not ditch.
And diffidently did a few then observe
that a dyke works as well in a pinch.
So the dykes did they search, at Abernaint,
and Broomhead, Car, Heriot’s, Calver,
Fron Hill. Rudgate and Bar, Tor and Bica's,
Fullinga and Festaen, Vervil.
They searched Inkpen and Reach Dyke,
The Old Dyke of Wansdyke, Gilling Wood,
Giant's Grave, Dorsey, Military Way,
Heron Bridge and The Rein, Catrail, Park Pale,
Dodman, Shepherd’s Well, Wallace's Trench,
Bardon Mill, Stepper Point, Giant's Hedge,
Pear Wood and Pepper Hills Firs.
But of Johnson no sign was observed.
They searched Horning and Hayling Wood,
Minchinhampton Bulwarks, Panworth,
Dane's Cast, Ponter's Ball, Devil's Mouth,
Pen y Clawdd, Roman Rig, Red Hill, King's Wicket,
Surry-Kent, Fleam, King Lud's Entrenchment.
But all sign of Johnson was absent.
They searched Bedwyn and Wantyn, Foulding
and High, the East Tisted-Colemore, Bokerley
Dyke. St Edmund’s, Whitford, Mount Pleasant,
Clawdd Mawr and Clawdd Seri. They searched
Offa's and Upper Short, Aberchan, the Oxford Road,
Wonston, Cefn-y-Crug, Froxfield, for all the good
it did them. As no sign of Johnson was revealed.
They searched the Common at Crookham,
and the Mechain Cantref, Grim's Dyke (in Harrow)
and Radnor Forest, Wat's Dyke, Deil’s Dyke,
Dane and the South dykes, The Black Pig's,
Kerry dykes, Tisted Cross Valley dyke.
Cefn Eglwysilan and Tywn Hywel, Cowlod,
Ffos Toncenglau, Tor Clawdd. Bwlch y Cibau,
Ty Newydd, Bedd Eiddil and Cefn Morfydd,
Bwlch yr Afan and Clawddtrawscae, Tyla-Glas,
but at the end of the day, alas, they found no sign.
Like pilgrims they are, in search of a shrine,
looking wherever a martyr might lie, wishing
to witness the true sacrifice, see the body
made beautiful, pure, incorruptible, laurelled,
and lying there, there in a ditch -
the ditch in which Johnson had died
___________
Thanks to Erik Grigg.
.
You certainly seemed to have enjoyed your geography research! Of course, the mendacity and duplicity of the son of Trump has no moral restraint. He will win the election because the focus will be Brexit.
