Page 1 of 1

Skins

Posted: Sat Mar 03, 2018 9:09 pm
by RCJames
At Ray's suggestion:

I have old skins
given to me
that matter now.

I.

A black, 50’s leather jacket
teen hoods wore back then;
this one is from a gentler soul,
running buddy Kev, prince,
gladiator, leader of our
endless war protests.
His grin, mock-trick eyes,
party-time hail-fellow-well-met
exhortations to go full-blast,
in all-night carouses,
prep for the barricades
the following cloudy day.
Fatally handsome, but shy
in the corners of his shine.
The big C hit him from behind,
we all of us fell with him,
he couldn’t get up along with us,
this time.

I feel honor, grace,
and memories that surge,
expand, when I put his jacket on;
the only protest left is shouting,
in his voice, against absence.

II.

A Scotch plaid winter wool shirt,
designed for woods-work
and rambling; my father wore it
for both. He, a business man,
loved our land, gardens,
fields and meadows like a proprietor
of the untold riches,relief and solitude
they possessed, and shared with him.

Pre-dawn Februaries he donned it
to plow both driveways,
loving the storms of powder
he volumed up around him.
As dawn broke, He’d walk
the maple sugar lines,
then check the collecting tub
in the shed he’d built himself,
next to the barn brother Don and I
built along with him.

Mom waited for him
with over-easy eggs,
loving conversation,
and, yah, sometimes
slight differences.

I have
new skins
I give
proper
wear to
now.





I have old skins
given to me
that matter now.

I.

A black,
50’s leather jacket
teen hoods
wore back then;
this one
is from
a gentler soul,
running buddy Kev,
prince, gladiator
leader of our
endless war protests.
His grin, mock-trick eyes,
party-time
hail-fellow-well-met
exhortations
to go full-blast,
in all-night carouses,
prep for the barricades
the following cloudy day.
Fatally handsome, but shy
in the corners of his shine.
The big C hit him
from behind,
we all of us
fell with him,
he couldn’t get up
along with us,
this time.
I feel honor, grace,
and memories
that surge, expand,
when I put his jacket on;
the only protest left
is shouting in his voice
against
absence.

II.

A Scotch plaid
winter wool shirt,
designed for
woods-work
and rambling;
my father wore it
for both.
He, a business man,
loved our land, gardens,
fields and meadows
like a proprietor
of the untold riches,
relief and solitude
they possessed,
and shared,
with him.
Pre-dawn Februaries
he donned it to plow
both driveways,
loving the storms of powder
he volumed up
around him.
As dawn broke,
He’d walk
the maple sugar lines,
then check the collecting
tub in the shed
he’d built himself,
next to the barn
brother Don and I
built along with him.
Mom waited for him
with over-easy eggs,
loving
conversation,
and, yah,
sometimes
slight
differences.

I have
new skins
I give
proper
wear to
now.

Re: Skins

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 1:24 pm
by ray miller
Enjoyed. I'd have liked the lines to have more length to them, especially that final stanza, but that seems to be your style.

Fatally, woman-magnet
handsome, but shy
in the corners of his shine.

shy in the corners of his shine. - that's very charming and just about atones for "woman-magnet handsome,"

Re: Skins

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 1:31 pm
by David
ray miller wrote:Enjoyed. I'd have liked the lines to have more length to them, especially that final stanza, but that seems to be your style.

Fatally, woman-magnet
handsome, but shy
in the corners of his shine.

shy in the corners of his shine. - that's very charming and just about atones for "woman-magnet handsome,"
Ditto, really. Very nice, RC.

Cheers

David

Re: Skins

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:23 pm
by RCJames
David - Yah I was hesitant about woman-magnet - it's outta there - Thanks - I appreciate it - RC

Re: Skins

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 8:22 pm
by David
That was Ray, really, RC - I was just echoing him.

Cheers

David

Re: Skins

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:10 pm
by RCJames
I thought you two guys were the same person - hah! - thank you both then - RC

Re: Skins

Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2018 7:11 am
by 1lankest
Very good. Really enjoyed it but I agree with the others. Why are some lines so short? I think this would be better if to regulated the line length and metre to some extent.

L

Re: Skins

Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 9:36 pm
by Arian
loving the storms of powder
he volumed up around him.

...is simply terrific, in my view. But the whole thing is very good - a great idea, nicely executed. Wasn't too sure about Yah - it jarred somehow.

But, a nit.

Cheers
peter

Re: Skins

Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 10:04 am
by lotus
dear RC

for those who speak a few different languages

it is interesting how the C for cancer impacts


in Dutch or Turkish it would be a K


it's good to be reading you here in the graves

a warm smile
silent lotus