Nom de Plume

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k-j
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Nom de Plume

Post by k-j » Mon Nov 14, 2016 2:43 pm

Man, woman, or maybe
a unisex job?

Sam, Alex, Kelly?
Hilary Something?

Ought to be plausible,
not Pynchonesque:

no Crawley Softpen
or Maybelline Feels.

Archly poetic:
Emerson Longfellow,

Senryu Haibun?
or cryptic - an anagram:

Jason Shinreko?
Rail stations in Britain:

Tod Morden, Glen Garnock?
Is it more like naming

a child, or a pet?
Parthenogenetic

progeny, prodded
into the world

to take blame and abuse
for a coy creator.

Just chuck a dart
at an old phone book.
fine words butter no parsnips

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Crayon
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Re: Nom de Plume

Post by Crayon » Mon Nov 14, 2016 4:57 pm

k-j - I thoroughly enjoyed it, and did an actual LOL at "Crawley Softpen". I don't see why it changes half-way through to disconnected line-spacing, which makes it read a little awkwardly. Here are some minor points:

- Needs a capital O for 'Or cryptic'.

- Need 'A' or 'Or a' before "Parthenogenetic".

- Maybe need a question mark after "creator".

- Maybe 'its coy creator?'.

- Maybe 'open phone book'.

- Maybe the ending could be a tad more original or daft.

Yours sincerely,
Sir Crayon B. Hardwax
wisteria
glares mauve ~
sleepless dawn

Antcliff
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Re: Nom de Plume

Post by Antcliff » Wed Nov 16, 2016 5:24 pm

Good stuff

I especially liked the abrupt "chuck/book" sonics at the end and the "coy creator"

No nits.

Tod Morden is a great writer.

Seth
p.s. I once called by a few times on another poetry forum under the name "Iona". A name quickly picked with no great thought...it being a nearby island. The forum was a bit more touchy/feely than this. And I found it assumed that I was female. It was an interesting experience.
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
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penguin
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Re: Nom de Plume

Post by penguin » Wed Nov 16, 2016 5:57 pm

Parthenogenetic

progeny, prodded
into the world

to take blame and abuse
for a coy creator.

That's the best passage, I think. I don't think the final couplet makes a great ending.

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bodkin
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Re: Nom de Plume

Post by bodkin » Thu Nov 17, 2016 1:31 pm

Cleck Heaton? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cleckheat ... ay_station -- I'm obliged to post this link once a year as long as it continues to contain the phrase:
wikipedia wrote:It has the distinction of being the only British railway station to have been stolen.
http://www.ianbadcoe.uk/

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Re: Nom de Plume

Post by Antcliff » Wed Nov 23, 2016 9:41 pm

More noms...


I V Tube

Az Tutecritic

Rowan Dabout
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur

k-j
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Re: Nom de Plume

Post by k-j » Sat Nov 26, 2016 3:49 am

Hi Crayon. Crawley Softpen of course was a found name, not an invention. Found - I don't think it's real. But it's someone else's pseudonym.

Capital O? I think it's OK when a sentence has an interior question. Matter of style. Article for parthenogenetic? Technically but fine to exclude it if thinking out loud. "Open phone book" is OK but I assume "open" is implied in the dart-chucking process. I know what you mean about the ending, but rather like having a banal one here.

Seth - I would probably assume "Iona" was female too. For a long time here on PG I thought Moth and Macavity were female (maybe they are).

pinguingo - thanks and I'll hmm the ending.

Ian - Cleck Heaton is quite good, except Cleck isn't really a name. I did know someone called Heaton though.

Seth - That's enough pseudonames. Ed.
fine words butter no parsnips

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JJWilliamson
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Re: Nom de Plume

Post by JJWilliamson » Sun Nov 27, 2016 12:31 pm

Highly entertaining. No nits and no names to offer.

A good one to return to for a smile.

Best

JJ
Long time a child and still a child

68degrees
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Re: Nom de Plume

Post by 68degrees » Sun Dec 04, 2016 5:02 pm

k-j wrote:Man, woman, or maybe
a unisex job?

Sam, Alex, Kelly?
Hilary Something?

Ought to be plausible,
not Pynchonesque:

no Crawley Softpen
or Maybelline Feels.

Archly poetic:
Emerson Longfellow,

Senryu Haibun?
or cryptic - an anagram:

Jason Shinreko?
Rail stations in Britain:

Tod Morden, Glen Garnock?
Is it more like naming

a child, or a pet?
Parthenogenetic

progeny, prodded
into the world

to take blame and abuse
for a coy creator.

Just chuck a dart
at an old phone book.
I enjoyed this. Having the majority of the questions stacked toward the beginning is maybe a bit unfair (not sure that's the right word) to the reader but I do like the ending couplet that could answer any of them. Nice teeter/totter type poem that leaves that same reader nicely balanced at the end.

68degrees

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