Brrr

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penguin
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Brrr

Post by penguin » Tue Oct 07, 2014 4:17 pm

unrecognised
late autumn face
auburn shades to
steely grey as
light shifts the mist
lifts a shiver
from the mirror

David
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Re: Brrr

Post by David » Tue Oct 07, 2014 5:20 pm

Hmm. Have you shaved after a summer of fuzz? And it seems oddly cold by comparison? I can't think what else might have prompted this - and the title - but it works very well. I don't usually go on about sonics - although they are important, I know - but the last three lines are so euphonious.

Cheers

David

1lankest
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Re: Brrr

Post by 1lankest » Wed Oct 08, 2014 4:33 pm

I disagree with David, I think the last three lines overdo the sonics. Some nice imagery here and clever word play. A good snap shot but I'm lost as to a broader meaning. Perhaps that doesn't matter.

Enjoyed.

Luke

penguin
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Re: Brrr

Post by penguin » Thu Oct 09, 2014 5:13 pm

Thanks both. I think it was about old age taking someone by surprise. Doesn't matter. Low scoring draw on the sonics, then.

Antcliff
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Re: Brrr

Post by Antcliff » Thu Oct 09, 2014 5:45 pm

Liked the sounds. Like the face in mirror theme. Not sure I understood ln. 5. As more light is on the mirror, the mists lift..i.e. face recognised?
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur

penguin
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Re: Brrr

Post by penguin » Fri Oct 10, 2014 12:36 pm

Antcliff wrote:Liked the sounds. Like the face in mirror theme. Not sure I understood ln. 5. As more light is on the mirror, the mists lift..i.e. face recognised?
Thanks, Seth. ...as light shifts the mist lifts... just meant to be a dawning realisation kind of thing.

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Re: Brrr

Post by Elphin » Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:47 pm

Rises above defence and with deft nod of the head scores late winner on behalf of sonics --- very Brrr.

elph

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Re: Brrr

Post by penguin » Mon Oct 13, 2014 4:36 pm

Thanks, Elphin. We await an offside flag.

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