Adjustment Disorder

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penguin
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Adjustment Disorder

Post by penguin » Mon Apr 07, 2014 3:34 pm

Before the water towers tumbled, he held sway
from the food hatch to the smoke room;
partitioned by his fists, unless he snatched
at liberties or railed at injustice –
then the Charge and his auxiliaries
would take him for a dusting.

This new-fangled breed of nurse is tied
by codes and vows to forbear violence.
They daren’t fight back but use restraint
to sting him with their well-placed jabs;
these tactics undermine his strength
and make him feel less than a man.

He is Samson at the hair salon
contemplating what has gone, so much
the better for his blindness.
Bound, he can but spit and bite
until the Philistines contrive
to kill him with their kindness.

Antcliff
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Location: At the end of stanza 3

Re: Adjustment Disorder

Post by Antcliff » Tue Apr 08, 2014 11:25 pm

Wondering if the 3rd stanza might become the first, with 1 and 2 becoming 2 and 3? The samson image seems such a striking one to come in on.

Seth
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur

Richard
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Re: Adjustment Disorder

Post by Richard » Wed Apr 09, 2014 7:04 am

i like the first stanza, and would lose the third, perhaps putting Samsom in the title (Samsom with adjustment disorder? Samson in the canteen?). I wondered if you meant jabs literally having had the nurses forebear violence?

penguin
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Re: Adjustment Disorder

Post by penguin » Wed Apr 09, 2014 6:04 pm

Thanks for the comments, Seth and Richard. I had actually considered both your suggestions before. I'll do something with it along those lines. The jabs were meant to be injections.

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