In praise of one without second

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Mic
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Re: In praise of one without second

Post by Mic » Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:15 pm

Ros wrote:I agree it's the 'thing' that makes this unique - but still not totally convinced... I like the idea of exploring losing identity further, though. Will look out for the result!

Ros
I think it's a like it/get it or don't really like it/ don't much get it at all sort of a poem. I'm close to feeling it's pretty much done (though I have some concerns - as mentioned by someone else, that the final line of the first stanza is too authorial)

Mic
"Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you" - Rumi

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Re: In praise of one without second

Post by Mic » Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:15 pm

OwenEdwards wrote:
Ros wrote:I agree it's the 'thing' that makes this unique - but still not totally convinced... I like the idea of exploring losing identity further, though.
I would echo this. To be a glorious failure is still to be glorious.
Indeed!

Mic
"Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you" - Rumi

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Re: In praise of one without second

Post by Mic » Tue Mar 18, 2014 6:18 pm

Oskar wrote:I really, really like this, Mic. The philosophising flies over my head and the editorial about it in the last line of S1 is self-conscious and a definite dump for me. I'd get rid. The E.g. would need to go too.

beloved seems like quite an elderly term to use. Especially as you end, rather splendidly I think, with the object of your affection in the bath with legs akimbo!

Distinct, attention-grabbing, feels new rather than well-trodden. A big thumbs up from me.

Thank you!

Mic
"Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you" - Rumi

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Re: In praise of one without second

Post by MikeAcker » Wed Mar 19, 2014 4:05 am

I liked the thing-thing. Just because we actually have names for things does not meant that they are no longer thing-things. Very unique approach to describing things. It's kind of how I think about things also.

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Re: In praise of one without second

Post by Mic » Wed Jan 28, 2015 6:59 pm

The scientists are catching up!

http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015 ... sciousness

"...Which is how Koch and Chalmers have both found themselves arguing, in the pages of the New York Review of Books, that an ordinary household thermostat or a photodiode, of the kind you might find in your smoke detector, might in principle be conscious."

Mic
"Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you" - Rumi

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Re: In praise of one without second

Post by ChrisGeorge » Wed Jan 28, 2015 7:17 pm

Hi Mic

A witty piece on the thingness of life. I like it. Particularly like the image "its tall unruly blueness". I agree with 1lankest with the assessment that "happening" if meant to be part of the poem should be moved closer to the prior line but I am not sure that it is needed. I rather like the piece ending on the steaming bath-thing. Nice work, Mic.

All the best

Chris
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Editor, Desert Moon Review
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Re: In praise of one without second

Post by Mic » Wed Jan 28, 2015 7:23 pm

thanks Chris. That 'happening' was a stray word left after an earlier edit.
"Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you" - Rumi

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Re: In praise of one without second

Post by ChrisGeorge » Wed Jan 28, 2015 7:50 pm

Ah, okay. Understood, thanks.

Chris
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Editor, Desert Moon Review
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