Yellowjackets

[Magpie Jane]

Yellowjackets


A farmer in Alabama
had to sneak, like a thief,
into his own barn
in the middle of the night
to get his tractor out.

They have been known
to colonise abandoned cars
and empty buildings
completely, monumentally.

And now, they’re nesting
behind the bargeboard
right here, outside
our bedroom window.

Teetering on a ladder
under the gable apex,
blowtorch in one hand,
garden hose in the other,
is a no, nay, never option.

After the plum season
(O, plums the colour of death)
the queen will issue no more
labour instructions,
and they’re on their own.

Tens of thousands
of dedicated papermakers
will be unemployed,
restless and irascible.

But today I still move lightly
among the raspberries.
Ahimsa, ladies, please,
I whisper, trying
to keep an eye on each.

*

[Antcliff]

trying
to keep an eye on each.

Not easy Jane, you will need a bit of the all seeing eye perhaps?

This is a delightful..both as an expression of interest in the natural world and as a poem that touches lightly on the dilemmas that BUZZ towards us. My favourite in stanza 6! And "Ahimsa ladies".

I imagine you walking softly past the raspberries, hoping that they don't..

Seth

[Wilcken]

This is great Jane. Reminds me of the character in Atwood's Year of the Flood who talked (and listened) to the bees. Wasps are so much less likable than honey bees in my book. I googled and (re)learned about Ahisma. The voice in this is wise, accepting and calming, even before the Ahisma line.

Wilco

[David]

I had to google both yellowjackets and ahimsa, but doing so was definitely worthwhile. I'm glad I don't know these ornery little critters at all.

No, nay, never is a Wild Rover reference for me - is it the same here?

Lovely ending, with the Ahimsa, ladies, please.

Cheers

David

[ray miller]

Enjoyed it. I like the 2nd verse best, the double meaning of empty buildings is very good.Not so keen on the no, nay never line and the line in brackets seems superfluous.

[Magpie Jane]

Seth, Wilco, David and Ray, thanks for your comments!

They're buzzing about the raspberries, and so am I. For now, we're each minding our own business, but one can't help thinking (a bit nervously) that in a few weeks' time they'll turn into nasty, aggressive wild rovers. (Yes, it's a direct reference to the song.)

Virually immersed in an abundance of wildlife (I'm one of those rustic crones), practising ahimsa is essential to maintain a modicum of sanity, compost mentis and all that. Hoping, of course, that some of it will rub off on the critters.

David, do you mean to say you have no wasps, hornets, yellowjackets, et al. on the Isle of Man?
Ray, I'll give an extra thought to those lines you mention; you may have a point or two there.

Thanks again. May none of you have unpleasant encounters with violent insects.
Jane

[David]

David, do you mean to say you have no wasps, hornets, yellowjackets, et al. on the Isle of Man?

Wasps, we have, of course, and the occasional hornet, but not these little fellows.

[R Stinson]

Jane,

I am new here and for better or worse you are my first critique.

First, loved the poem, thank you for posting. All comments are yours to take or leave as you see fit.

In my opinion the poem really starts in the second stanza and seems to be a better lead in from the title. Also think that perhaps the line length and breaks could be used to better effect

something like:


They have been known to colonise
abandoned cars and empty buildings
completely, monumentally.

And now, they’re nesting behind
the bargeboard right here, outside
our bedroom window.

Teetering on a ladder under the gable
apex, blowtorch in one hand, garden hose
in the other, is a no, nay, never option.

***I like the no, nay, never option***

After the plum season (O, plums the colour
of death) the queen will issue no more
labour instructions; they’re on their own.

Tens of thousands of dedicated paper
makers will be unemployed, restless
and irascible.

But today I still move lightly among raspberries.
Ahimsa, ladies, please, I whisper, trying
to keep an eye on each.


I thank you for the opportunity to comment
enjoyed the read.

RS

[Lake]

Hi Jane,

Very enjoyble read. This has a sense of lightness and humor in it which I like. I also like how "monumentally" is used here because of its muti-meanings.

Lake

[Magpie Jane]

David, thanks for coming back to this. Ahh, wasps, hornets, yellowjackets -- I can never really tell the difference. Whenever these wild rovers are around, I get sort of skittish and pay minimal attention to taxonomy.

RS, hello -- and welcome! I hope you're going to like it here.
It's certainly an honour to be the subject of your first critique, and I'm very glad you enjoyed my piece. You have some interesting points there, and I'll keep your suggestions at hand when I go into edit mode with this. Thanks for your thoughtful attention!

Lake, thanks a lot for looking in on this, and finding it enjoyable! Yes, the "monumental" word is one of my favourites; only sometimes I'm afraid I use it a bit too often.

Jane