Nash wrote:The final two lines are perfect. Absolutely perfect!
Mic wrote:I wonder if I were to insert a 'Here,' in the first line might go somewhere towards underlining the change in place...
Nash wrote:Just as a point of reference Michaela, I think the change of place is covered in the title The move from London to Wales, 1978. It's not England to Wales, it's not London to Cardiff (as an example). It's specifically London (which denotes to me urban sprawl) to Wales (which, to me at least, denotes vast mountainous landscapes).
ljordan wrote: but it still works for me in that such a move implies other shifts besides the physical.
Magpie Jane wrote: have a small 'issue' with the word siblings. Since these are the observations of a child, or a very young person, would "siblings" be a natural choice? Mind you, this may be a case of 'just me'; I find the word a tad too clinical in this context. No major complaint though.
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