NQS about the title #8

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NotQuiteSure
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NQS about the title #8

Post by NotQuiteSure » Wed May 16, 2018 3:09 pm

[tab][/tab]drop bear[tab][/tab]noun[tab][/tab]Australian
[tab][/tab]A mythical marsupial resembling a koala, said to live in trees
[tab][/tab]and attack people by dropping on to their heads from above.
[tab][/tab] [tab][/tab] [tab][/tab](Source: OxfordDictionaries.com)



Drop Bears
(For Chris Hosking)


He's lucky t'be alive, least that's what they said,
'took a tyre for a Hoop Snake, come a gutsa, banged his head.
And when he stood up, so as he could ankle his strides,
were he not tin-arsed, he'd'a been cactus, right?

Dill just wandered off, claimed he'd a job to do,
but this is the bush mate, not some swanky loo.
If you've not spread the sadness thick behind your ears,
or pâte dentifrice, brimmed your forking spears,

then just fire up the grill, Jill, an' go baste yourself,
you're asking for it, fellah, nobody else.
It's like you're off to Mulga, on your lonesome, no map.
Got no use for a plan if you're not comin' back.

Some pom thought he looked like he'd just been tangoed,
but what you'd expect from a protanopic drongo?
They're vicious buggers, strewth and so are the bears,
and I know which one's the one for whom I'd be sheddin' tears.

A M Chris says they're weaned on milk, good to grow,
Christmas James claims different, that he's in the know.
Though the bludger's real keen to neck a tinny or two,
he's deadset it's blood that pulls a joey on through.

Azaria says they roar, Figjam Jim that they hiss.
But you gotta ask if they know, or are they rippin' the piss?
And not for protection. How did they survive?
When the oranges are fallin', who gets out alive?

'Cause they dive, and they bog in, they're all tooth 'n' claw,
bull-dust-bear gets the drop boy, you're a gonna for sure.
That bloke that I told ya about, ain't said a word,
lost both of his ears, least that's what I heard.

Now young Ru, he's a ringer, knows nothing, all this time,
says the reason he's safe is the Oz mossie strine.
Here's how he thinks, the great big galah; see
it'll come good in the trees if he sings Waltzing Matilda.

It's the sound sure to save 'im, or so the kid reckons,
but I don't believe it, not for a second.
You gotta figure, though rabid, even they 'ave their standards,
won't touch cockroaches, croweaters, or them banana benders.

See, maybe their palate's a bit more refined,
they like the foreign, the exotic and it's on them they'll dine.
They've had more than their share of macropod, dingo and numbat,
been the same since forever and well, not really all that.

Course now they're gonna want something that's a little bit tastier,
I mean, when d'ya last see a Gippsland Cat? Or a Tassie Tiger?
And it could be that first time was a bit of a blunder,
but, practice makes perfect, guess the flavour's a belter.

You ever meet that white coat name Volker? He's a bit of a joker,
knows his science, he's been published, hold this and I'll show yer.
Calls them Thylarctos plummetus, if you can even pronounce it,
he's cluey though, I'll tell ya, way more than a half wit.

Now old Vol, with his sats, he's been trackin' the critters,
got it all mapped out, c'n tell you right where their shit is.
Just like pols and bandits, they hug the rich east coast tight,
though there's signs their off west now, got Manjimup in sight.

Crikey, look at me bashin' on, that's way outa character,
there must be somethin' about ya, sure, you're a bit of a charmer.
And say, while you've still got my glass and it's not any bother
since you're standin' right there, mate, well I'll have another.

Yours was a Claytons, right?
Good on ya.
Cheers.
Nighty night.


________________________________________________________________

https://australianmuseum.net.au/drop-bear

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Macavity
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Re: NQS about the title #8

Post by Macavity » Sun May 20, 2018 4:04 pm

Bush Poetry NQS? It does bashin' on, but there are entertaining features along the way, not least the rhymes!...even the rabid have their standards :)

cheers

mac

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Re: NQS about the title #8

Post by NotQuiteSure » Mon May 21, 2018 2:02 pm

Macavity wrote:Bush Poetry NQS?
I wouldn't dare presume![tab][/tab]More a 'shaggy-bear' story mac.
(no idea if I've got the vernacular right, still waiting on an Australian's verdict),
but it was fun to write.

Any ideas as to where it may be cut back?

Thanks for the read.

Regards, Not.
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Re: NQS about the title #8

Post by Macavity » Wed May 23, 2018 8:10 pm

No, I don't NQS. The Bush poetry I've read on another site consisted of 'long' poems. It is what it is.

best

mac

churinga
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Re: NQS about the title #8

Post by churinga » Thu May 24, 2018 8:14 pm

Hi Not
I didn't want to comment on this as I wanted to see what reaction you got from a UK audience. I think as a poem it's fun but over-ambitious. Here are some errors in vernacular.

Hoop Snake is American, here it's called a bandy snake ( from aboriginal: bandi bandi).
dentifrice, an Aussie in that context would never use this word, it is too erudite.
Mulga, is not a place, it is a type of tree, also a type of snake.
protanopic again too erudite,
he's deadset it's blood that pulls a joey on through.
Using two prepositions is very American, not Aussie. Joey is not used to describe a person, it is a very young roo and nothing else ( to my knowledge)
macropod again too academic.
Crikey, Aussies tend to say Christ as a swearword, never crikey or cripes. They were used but not for a centruy or more.
bashin' on, not really said, 'crapping on' is the expression.

There is also a two-headed lizard, really a lizard with a tail shaped like its head.

cheers

Ross

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Re: NQS about the title #8

Post by NotQuiteSure » Fri May 25, 2018 1:04 pm

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Hey Ross,
thanks for the read.

I think as a poem it's fun but over-ambitious.
- In what way?
Here are some errors in vernacular.
- Thanks for this

Hoop Snake is American, here it's called a bandy snake ( from aboriginal: bandi bandi).
- As far as I can tell, what you're referring to is a real reptile, I was referencing a snake as mythological as the Drop Bears, (I thought).
dentifrice, an Aussie in that context would never use this word, it is too erudite.
- yes, that was the point. I wanted to hint at an unreliable narrator.
Mulga, is not a place, it is a type of tree, also a type of snake.
- according to all the slang dictionaries I used for this piece, 'Mulga' is also 'the outback' or
'the middle of nowhere' (via the Acacia, I suspect). Is this wrong?
And what about 'Mulga Bill'?
protanopic again too erudite,
-see above
he's deadset it's blood that pulls a joey on through.
Using two prepositions is very American, not Aussie.
- any alternative suggestions?
Joey is not used to describe a person, it is a very young roo and nothing else ( to my knowledge)
- if you follow the link on the page (under Mating and Reproduction) Drop Bear young are referred to as 'Joeys'
and that's what I'm referring to.
macropod again too academic.
- ditto
Crikey, Aussies tend to say Christ as a swearword, never crikey or cripes. They were used but not for a centruy or more.
- I don't mind the anachronism (Claytons is also out of date, I think), but an alternative to 'Christ' would be appreciated.
bashin' on, not really said, 'crapping on' is the expression.
- it hasn't made the dictionaries yet (as far as I can tell) :)

Thanks again for the vernacular verification, much appreciated.

Regards, Not.
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churinga
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Re: NQS about the title #8

Post by churinga » Sat May 26, 2018 12:05 am

Hoop Snake is American, here it's called a bandy snake ( from aboriginal: bandi bandi).
- As far as I can tell, what you're referring to is a real reptile, I was referencing a snake as mythological as the Drop Bears, (I thought).

One got into my ex's bedroom for a few hours after a heavy downpour, in Byron Bay, so I did some digging; defintiely real and refers back to Ouroboros as the snake lives mostly underground and is almost blind so can eat its own tail mistaking it for food.


Mulga, is not a place, it is a type of tree, also a type of snake.
- according to all the slang dictionaries I used for this piece, 'Mulga' is also 'the outback' or
'the middle of nowhere' (via the Acacia, I suspect). Is this wrong? Yes, the outback is vast, the bush is also vast but the mulga is much more specific, as if you said he's gone wandering on the heath, it's all about context.

he's deadset it's blood that pulls a joey on through.
Leave out the on. I didn't know baby koalas were called joeys. My mistake.


Crikey, Aussies tend to say Christ as a swearword, never crikey or cripes. They were used but not for a century or more.
- I don't mind the anachronism (Claytons is also out of date, I think), but an alternative to 'Christ' would be appreciated.
No, cripes and crikey are known here so not unreasonable that someone would use them, sardonically perhaps.

bashin' on, not really said, 'crapping on' is the expression.
-You could say 'rabbiting on'

All the best

Ross

NotQuiteSure
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Re: NQS about the title #8

Post by NotQuiteSure » Sat May 26, 2018 2:36 pm

[tab][/tab]
Thanks for returning Ross.

Hoop Snake: One got into my ex's bedroom for a few hours after a heavy downpour, in Byron Bay, so I did some digging; defintiely real and refers back to Ouroboros as the snake lives mostly underground and is almost blind so can eat its own tail mistaking it for food.
Not disagreeing with you, but I think the same term is used for two different things:

Compare
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Hoop_Snake
and references in 'comments section' of original link,
plus; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drop_bear
with
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bandy-bandy

or have I go this wrong (again).

'Mulga' Yes, the outback is vast, the bush is also vast but the mulga is much more specific, as if you said he's gone wandering on the heath, it's all about context.
All I'm finding is Mulga as a synonym for 'bush', any good reference sources?

he's deadset it's blood that pulls a joey on through.
Leave out the on.
Ok (thanks). I'm misusing 'deadset' here, is there an alternative
(for thinks/believes/is convinced that) ?

No, cripes and crikey are known here so not unreasonable that someone would use them, sardonically perhaps.
N is conning a tourist into buying him a drink, so I think sardonic works.

bashin' on, not really said, 'crapping on' is the expression.
-You could say 'rabbiting on'

I think, though I can't honestly remember, I simply extrapolated this phrase from ear bashin'.
Wouldn't be the first one in this piece I 'invented'/adapted.
I assume the meaning is clear (but if I could find a source for 'crapping on' I'd go with that).

Thanks for the help, Ross. Much appreciated.

Regards, Not.
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Re: NQS about the title #8

Post by David » Sat May 26, 2018 5:56 pm

Terrific. I can't give it marks - or subtract them - for vernacular accuracy as Ross can, and I'd be inclined to trust him on the points he makes, but leaving that aside I really enjoyed it. A lot of comic vim in here.

Cheers

David

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Re: NQS about the title #8

Post by NotQuiteSure » Mon May 28, 2018 12:47 pm

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Thanks for the read David, glad you enjoyed it.

'Vernacular accuracy' - not, I think, a matter of trust, more a case
of being unwilling to forego a good argument (ahem), I mean debate.
(For instance, it strikes me that 'crapping on' might imply 'bullshitting',
which is not really what N is doing.)

Also, I'm wondering if (following mac's Bush Poetry observation)
it is worth trying to hammer it into a more conventional form (a ballad,
essentially). Any thoughts? (I'm concerned about vim degradation).

Regards, Not.
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