NQS about the title #8

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NQS about the title #8

Postby NotQuiteSure » Wed May 16, 2018 3:09 pm

     drop bear     noun     Australian
     A mythical marsupial resembling a koala, said to live in trees
     and attack people by dropping on to their heads from above.
                 (Source: OxfordDictionaries.com)

Drop Bears
(For Chris Hosking)

He's lucky t'be alive, least that's what they said,
'took a tyre for a Hoop Snake, come a gutsa, banged his head.
And when he stood up, so as he could ankle his strides,
were he not tin-arsed, he'd'a been cactus, right?

Dill just wandered off, claimed he'd a job to do,
but this is the bush mate, not some swanky loo.
If you've not spread the sadness thick behind your ears,
or pâte dentifrice, brimmed your forking spears,

then just fire up the grill, Jill, an' go baste yourself,
you're asking for it, fellah, nobody else.
It's like you're off to Mulga, on your lonesome, no map.
Got no use for a plan if you're not comin' back.

Some pom thought he looked like he'd just been tangoed,
but what you'd expect from a protanopic drongo?
They're vicious buggers, strewth and so are the bears,
and I know which one's the one for whom I'd be sheddin' tears.

A M Chris says they're weaned on milk, good to grow,
Christmas James claims different, that he's in the know.
Though the bludger's real keen to neck a tinny or two,
he's deadset it's blood that pulls a joey on through.

Azaria says they roar, Figjam Jim that they hiss.
But you gotta ask if they know, or are they rippin' the piss?
And not for protection. How did they survive?
When the oranges are fallin', who gets out alive?

'Cause they dive, and they bog in, they're all tooth 'n' claw,
bull-dust-bear gets the drop boy, you're a gonna for sure.
That bloke that I told ya about, ain't said a word,
lost both of his ears, least that's what I heard.

Now young Ru, he's a ringer, knows nothing, all this time,
says the reason he's safe is the Oz mossie strine.
Here's how he thinks, the great big galah; see
it'll come good in the trees if he sings Waltzing Matilda.

It's the sound sure to save 'im, or so the kid reckons,
but I don't believe it, not for a second.
You gotta figure, though rabid, even they 'ave their standards,
won't touch cockroaches, croweaters, or them banana benders.

See, maybe their palate's a bit more refined,
they like the foreign, the exotic and it's on them they'll dine.
They've had more than their share of macropod, dingo and numbat,
been the same since forever and well, not really all that.

Course now they're gonna want something that's a little bit tastier,
I mean, when d'ya last see a Gippsland Cat? Or a Tassie Tiger?
And it could be that first time was a bit of a blunder,
but, practice makes perfect, guess the flavour's a belter.

You ever meet that white coat name Volker? He's a bit of a joker,
knows his science, he's been published, hold this and I'll show yer.
Calls them Thylarctos plummetus, if you can even pronounce it,
he's cluey though, I'll tell ya, way more than a half wit.

Now old Vol, with his sats, he's been trackin' the critters,
got it all mapped out, c'n tell you right where their shit is.
Just like pols and bandits, they hug the rich east coast tight,
though there's signs their off west now, got Manjimup in sight.

Crikey, look at me bashin' on, that's way outa character,
there must be somethin' about ya, sure, you're a bit of a charmer.
And say, while you've still got my glass and it's not any bother
since you're standin' right there, mate, well I'll have another.

Yours was a Claytons, right?
Good on ya.
Nighty night.



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Re: NQS about the title #8

Postby Macavity » Sun May 20, 2018 4:04 pm

Bush Poetry NQS? It does bashin' on, but there are entertaining features along the way, not least the rhymes!...even the rabid have their standards :)


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Re: NQS about the title #8

Postby NotQuiteSure » Mon May 21, 2018 2:02 pm

Macavity wrote:Bush Poetry NQS?

I wouldn't dare presume!     More a 'shaggy-bear' story mac.
(no idea if I've got the vernacular right, still waiting on an Australian's verdict),
but it was fun to write.

Any ideas as to where it may be cut back?

Thanks for the read.

Regards, Not.
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