Pentapolis

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Pentapolis

Postby fortytwo » Sun Feb 11, 2018 2:26 pm

PENTAPOLIS

GAZA.
From this small clearing he won’t move
into the ligneous shades of dark,
fixed stillness in his day’s aubade,
all circled there by timber spars.
ASHKELON
At times a bright lit path appears
so then he’s tempted to explore.
ASHDOD
Yet just one brush against those spars
brings homunculi tumbling down.
EKRON
Hate filled, from stilts they fall to ground
where for delusion no light spans
amongst the spars that now surround.
GATH.
Stilts raising high their bigotry
on narrow paths where thoughts
confined to modish mediocrity .
Control is controlled by its need to control. William S.Burroughs,
fortytwo
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Re: Pentapolis

Postby ray miller » Mon Feb 12, 2018 4:44 pm

I'm assuming it's something to do with Samson , but I don't get much further than that. There's a few lines I found odd

fixed stillness in his day’s aubade, - the day's aubade would be better, but doesn't "day" go without saying

where for delusion no light spans - the meaning seems to be that no light exists to delude one, but it's a strange way to put it. Is this a reference to Samson's blindness? Are the stilts meant to be pillars?

Stilts raising high their bigotry
on narrow paths where thoughts
confined to modish mediocrity . - seems to be a sentence without a conclusion.

I was interested enough to google a few things but I don't feel enlightened.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
ray miller
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Re: Pentapolis

Postby fortytwo » Mon Feb 12, 2018 9:08 pm

* The Philistine Pentapolis: Ashkelon, Ashdod, Ekron, Gath, and Gaza.
*“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.”
― Socrates


Ray thanks for reading.
The format of the poem is an experiment.
It is about a sense of alienation as relevant today as in Socrates time. It imparts a contempt for those "Philistines" from the society or part society from whom this individual feels alienated. You could say it is something of an old man’s or cynic’s poem. The aubade suggests a musician or poet but you can put a wider interpretation on it and take it as his “creation” of his own life. Whichever, it brings him into conflict with those around him especialy when he misguidedly attempts to embrace their values which he doesn't share and which he sees as oppressive, misguided and delusional. He also ascribes a deterioration in ? to their restrictive “modish mediocrity”. You can apply the poem to any aspect of society you think it fits if you're so inclined.

Sincerely Ft
Control is controlled by its need to control. William S.Burroughs,
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Re: Pentapolis

Postby ray miller » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:22 am

*“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.”
― Socrates

I wonder if in the extent of human history there's been a generation of whom this hasn't been remarked.
Isn't it a stretch to speak of an aubade in a figurative sense in an "old man's poem"?
I think you need "are" after "thoughts" to make the final sentence complete.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
ray miller
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Re: Pentapolis

Postby fortytwo » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:49 am

Ray wrote
"I wonder if in the extent of human history there's been a generation of whom this hasn't been remarked."
Thanks for commenting again Ray. Couldn't agree more that's why I've quoted it.
"Isn't it a stretch to speak of an aubade in a figurative sense in an "old man's poem"?"
Aubade - a poem or piece of music appropriate to the dawn or early morning. Not for this old man ! :roll:
"I think you need "are" after "thoughts" to make the final sentence complete.""
[b]"Are" disturbs a syllable count and stresses I want to retain and I feel it works ok as it is.
[/b]
Many thanks Ray for taking the time to read and comment, much appreciated
Control is controlled by its need to control. William S.Burroughs,
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