Inland Seagulls

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Inland Seagulls

Postby Firebird » Thu Oct 05, 2017 3:32 pm

Outside, the screech of seagulls
but I am not near the sea.
What brings them here to York?

Just beyond the ring-road
you can see them in the distance
circling above a giant plateau
of debris; now and then landing
to pick up scraps to eat.

Is this why they no longer
scavenge on the beaches,
follow the fishing boats?
Could it be possible
that our waste is more attractive
than the abundance of the sea?
Last edited by Firebird on Thu Oct 05, 2017 6:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Inland Seagulls

Postby NotQuiteSure » Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:14 pm

     
Tristan,
Enjoyed, particularly 'ring-road' and 'circling'.
food for thought:

Inland Gulls

Just beyond the ring-road
you can see them in the distance
circling above a giant plateau
of debris; now and then landing
to seize something to eat.

Is this why they no longer
scavenge on the beaches,
follow the fishing boats?
Could it be that our waste
is more attractive
than all that's in the sea?

'seize something to eat' - I know 'feast on scraps.' is overused, but 'seize...' is a little flat, I think.
'scavenge on the beaches' - thought you were gong all Churchillian here.
I think there's an ambiguity in the last line concerning 'waste' (sewage outflows and all).

Regards, Not.
     
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Re: Inland Seagulls

Postby JJWilliamson » Fri Oct 06, 2017 5:39 pm

Hi, Tristan

An interesting observational peace that tackles an all too familiar sight. The gulls have easy pickings on the tips
compared to the trials of sea fishing and scavenging. Urban gulls are a recognised problem.

A few suggestions for your deliberation, points for discussion, perhaps: Suggested additions (***) suggested deletions [ ***] Suggested strike***

Firebird wrote:Outside, the screech of seagulls
but I am not near the sea.What brings them here to York?

Just beyond the ring-road
you can see them in the distance (they) circl(e)[ing] above a giant plateau
of debris; now and then landing
to pick up scraps to eat.

Is this why [t](T)hey no longer
scavenge on the beaches,
follow the fishing boats[?] (.)
Could it be possible
that (Is) our waste [is] more attractive ...'attractive' is rather flat, given the context. I don't mind 'waste' doubling as "shit". (Soz Not)
than the abundance of the sea?


I felt that the reader could decide to tackle the issues without most of the questions. The poem leads them there without them. Just an opinion.

Enjoyed, mainly because I have thought about this problem on many occasions.

Best

JJ
Long time a child and still a child
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Re: Inland Seagulls

Postby ton321 » Sun Oct 08, 2017 2:01 am

Outside, the screech of seagulls
but I am not near the sea.
What brings them here to York?

Just beyond the ring-road
you can see them in the distance
circling above a giant plateau
of debris; now and then landing
to pick up scraps to eat.

Is this why they no longer
scavenge on the beaches,
follow the fishing boats?
Could it be possible
that our waste is more attractive
than the abundance of the sea?


Hi Tristan,
I liked the poem and its idea of seagulls in a different place from where they should be. I know it might be a big ask, but I think the piece might be better without the last three lines.

Ton
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
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Re: Inland Seagulls

Postby Macavity » Sun Oct 08, 2017 12:12 pm

Hi Tristan

I'm not sure of the novelty in the observation. Seagulls, in my memory, have always scavenged inland - and inland, for this island, is never far from the sea.

A more ironic, pointed fact on leftovers, would be an image of a gull picking at a fish bone on a waste tip that is 'inland'.

Our waste is more bountiful than the desert in the sea could be an option. Or you could reference fish farms.

best

mac
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