Colosseum

Translated any poems lately? If so, then why not post them here?
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Amadis
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Colosseum

Post by Amadis » Fri Aug 28, 2020 10:19 am

A translation into English of the Italian translation of a Spanish poem by Sergio Martínez.
Why, you may ask?
I hope some day the English version is translated into Polish and so on and so on ;)
---
It does not wear elegant clothes
it has no bright spaces
nor airy stadium
It plunges into pain
the immense pain of humanity
that unhealing wound

poetry has no partner
no applauding masses
nor loving intentions
held in others hearts
often ravaged and disappointed
within worn out bodies

poetry seeks followers and lovers
of the word forgotten
often mute and deaf
written with blood spilled
and words uncertain
very often invisible.


--Italian version translated from the original Spanish version--
Non veste elegante

non ha spazi luminosi

né respiri ampi

s’immerge nel dolore

immenso d’una umanità

in costante ferita
la poesia non ha complici

non ha masse plaudenti

né amorosi intenti

rinchiusa in cuori altri

spesso devastati e delusi

su corpi sfiniti
la poesia cerca seguaci e amanti

d’una parola scordata

spesso muta e sorda

scritta col sangue versato

e parole incerte

molto spesso invisibili
—Sergio Martínez

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Perry
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Re: Colosseum

Post by Perry » Sat Aug 29, 2020 12:35 am

Because this is a translation, and because I don't know Italian, there's no help that I can give you. I can only suggest that the English version reflects the literal meaning of the Spanish as much as possible, with as few poetic embellishments as possible. That way, when the English is translated into Polish, the meaning will be more accurate. All of the poetic embellishments should be in the Polish version.

Spanish > Italian > English > Polish

I don't see how the meaning can't get mucked up that way. Better to do:

Spanish > English > Polish (if English is your native tongue)

or better:

Spanish > Polish
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.

Amadis
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Re: Colosseum

Post by Amadis » Sat Aug 29, 2020 8:52 am

Me thinks you miss the point.
I once ( a few weeks ago) believed that poetry could be translated faithfully,
But try as one might, there is interpretation at every reading.
Even within myself, I was forced into compromise, for idiom and shades of intention were lost.

So like a game of Broken Telephone, I would love to hear the:
English translation of the Arabic translation of the Polish translation of the English translation of the Italian translation of the Spanish Poem.
(Not that that will happen outside of my imagination :)
Last edited by Amadis on Sat Aug 29, 2020 9:27 am, edited 3 times in total.

Amadis
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Re: Colosseum

Post by Amadis » Sat Aug 29, 2020 8:55 am

Anyway, did you like the poem by Martínez?

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