Recovered Ground

[Globus]

Something of a different style for number two:


ten to the infinite events since my last sighting here,
I gaze around the mirrored room
going through another rehearsal for a night that wont come.

observers would note the calm posture
and the still muscles in my face as signs of experience;
they would be right – this is familiar territory.

my blood, my crew – they’re here with me,
quiet for once, brought together in strife;
we know how we do.

the cause of our return?
another day of failure realised, of uncatharsis;
failure slows ambition’s turning wheel.

the place we return to?
the shallow bend at the bottom of the wave,
a practised climb up the cycle ahead of us.



Suggestions appreciated...

[Jester]

Globus

Felt this could have been omitted -

"we know how we do.

the cause of our return?"

As for the rest....enjoyed the thought process - especially -

" the shallow bend at the bottom of the wave,
a practised climb up the cycle ahead of us."

Nice one.

Mick.

[kozmikdave]

Gidday

Have read this a few times and find it tantalising. I want to know a bit more about it. So many questions.

I gaze around the mirrored room
going through another rehearsal for a night that wont come.

This set me up - loved it.

my blood, my crew – they’re here with me,
quiet for once, brought together in strife;

This made me think I understood - maybe.

the shallow bend at the bottom of the wave,
a practised climb up the cycle ahead of us.

Great finish!

Are any of the other lines needed? Gosh, I'd be happy with that. I am probably way off in my interpretation but I don't think I would want to give away the meaning, if I'd written it.

Thanks for the read
Dave

[Globus]

Cheers for the feedback.
Some of the pretension is reduced and, hopefully, it swings a little better. I'm still not sure about the ending though...


ten to the many since my last sighting here,
I gaze around the mirrored room
rehearsing another night that wont come.

observers would note the calm posture
and still muscles in my face as signs of experience;
they would be right – this is familiar territory.

my blood, my crew – they’re here with me,
quiet for once and together in strife, for
failure slows ambition’s turning wheel.

we have returned to the shallow of the wave,
a practised climb through the cycle ahead.

[Shepherdess]

I have read this through and i must agree with someone’s earlier comment it intrigues my but I must say it is also hard to see what it is about. I am not saying I don’t like it, I do but I find perplexing.
Thanks for sharing

[Globus]

Thanks for reading.

It's about the inner experience of repeating cycles of behaviour, of character flaws or the tribulations of personality.

The 'my blood, my crew' referrers to the other aspects of a personality that come together to take the whole forwards, again, from the lull or mistake that one part has caused.

The 'mirrored room' is the self, or particularly the times of reflection. The 'rehearsal' line is meant to give some depth to the cause of the behaviour, some insight into the way the narrator works. It suggests the idea of doing something often enough and you'll get it right is a false notion that perpetuates the cycle described.

[RobertFlorey]

Something of a different style for number two:


ten to the infinite events since my last sighting here,
I gaze around the mirrored room
going through another rehearsal for a night that wont come.

observers would note the calm posture
and the still muscles in my face as signs of experience;
they would be right – this is familiar territory.

my blood, my crew – they’re here with me,
quiet for once, brought together in strife;
we know how we do.

the cause of our return?
another day of failure realised, of uncatharsis;
failure slows ambition’s turning wheel.

the place we return to?
the shallow bend at the bottom of the wave,
a practised climb up the cycle ahead of us.



Suggestions appreciated...

I went from Versailles to a ship on the ocean.
Then I read your explanation, and I congratulate you for
being willing to give it.

The first stanza is where you might reveal the secret but:
ten to the infinite events since my last sighting here,
I gaze around the mirrored room
going through another rehearsal for a night that wont come.

Your last sighting here. Doesn't 'sighting' usually mean that
someone has seen something appear that they've been
looking for? As in sighting the Poor Beaked Twaddle Bird,
or fifteen Japanese Zeroes in flight?

The rehearsal -- I would have thought, according to your
explanation, that a rehearsal would be for something you
haven't tried before, rather than something you will repeat
helplessly. The night won't come -- why is that? And is
the night the play in front of the audience of reality?

Ten to the infinite events is hyperbole, and I'm wondering
why you're doing that. I think this could be a place where
instead of an opaque metaphor you could make it plain.

Well, this is of course my slant and my taste, and doesn't at
all necessarily apply to your style, but I thought I'd mention
it just in case it might give some sort of fresh view from another
observer.

[Globus]

Your comments are interesting and thought provoking.

I'm happy with 'sighting' - the principle behind the poem is repeated behaviour and expectation intertwines easily with that.

'Ten to the infinite...' is hyperbolic and probably obnoxious. It describes 'events', which are easily numbered in vast sizes without suggesting much passage of [experienced] time, but you are right that I should find a better way of conveying those ideas.

I need to give more thought to the 'rehearsal' theme. I can justly accuse myself of being in perpetual rehearsal for some things, but perhaps the phrasing doesn't give away its secrets easily enough.

I will think more in a sober tomorrow...