Slender First Lady

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Amadis
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Slender First Lady

Post by Amadis » Sat Aug 08, 2020 12:13 am

She kills people, you know
slices and dices in half the time
taken from their lives and mothers
milk of kindness, never crossed her
mind how you approach that man.

He’s a man of means, his woman a Slender
piece of work for a dollar or don’t work at
all seeing crew will take care to see
what no-one will ever know what
became the legend is only half what
the police found in the base is
Secure Mam, sir, situation nominal.

Amadis
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Re: Slender First Lady

Post by Amadis » Sat Aug 08, 2020 12:15 am

Another, "found" piece in my own thread.
When I read it back, it kind of makes sense, to me.

But, what does look it like from the outside?

Macavity
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Re: Slender First Lady

Post by Macavity » Sun Aug 09, 2020 7:57 am

Hi Amadis,
I can't say that I'm that tuned into American politics, though it is a UK media obsession and therefore is always on the radar to an extent. The title and the opening line are both effective grabs. The conversational voice of that opening line delivers the shock value of the content. The use of 'Slender' becomes a menacing adjective. There's some nice glove work, a softening of menace, in S1 with the consonance (the use of the 'm' sounds). S1 engages me more because the focus on her is a more interesting subject, though I can't say I comprehend the poem, but that is probably my lack of context knowledge.

best

mac

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