Childish

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NotQuiteSure
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Childish

Post by NotQuiteSure » Thu Jul 16, 2020 11:39 am

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Childish


i.
Water Cannon, Garden Bridge
never used, never built.
Where did all the money go?
Don't ask Spaffer.


ii.
Ring a ring o' care homes
a pocket full of contracts
a tishoo, a tissue
of lies, lies, lies.


iii.
Spaffer the Workshy lost his sheep
and doesn't know where to find them.
At PMQ's the bleating news
is they are all behind him.



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Last edited by NotQuiteSure on Mon Jul 20, 2020 10:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

Amadis
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Re: NC

Post by Amadis » Fri Jul 17, 2020 8:11 am

I Had to look up "Spaffer"
OMG, LOL, now I get it.

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Re: NC

Post by NotQuiteSure » Fri Jul 17, 2020 12:23 pm

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Hi Amadis,
glad you enjoyed these nursery rhymes.

Regards, Not

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Jackie
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Re: NC

Post by Jackie » Sun Jul 19, 2020 5:52 pm

Not,

I enjoyed your conversion of nursery rhymes to taunts, but so far as political commentary goes, I try to keep to my own side of the pond.

Jackie

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Re: Childish

Post by NotQuiteSure » Mon Jul 20, 2020 10:14 am

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Hi Jackie,
thanks for the read. I'm hoping that doggerel is a just a phase I'm going through (and that it doesn't last.)
As unfashionable as it may be, you're welcome on this side (or should that be to this side?) of
the pond anytime.

Regards, Not


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Re: Childish

Post by Firebird » Mon Jul 20, 2020 8:23 pm

Hi Not,

I enjoyed them all, although 2 and 3 were my favourites, but only because I had to research 1 a little. I think they work well together. Some remarks below.

NotQuiteSure wrote:
Thu Jul 16, 2020 11:39 am
.
Childish


i.
Water Cannon, Garden Bridge
never used, never built.
Where did all the money go?
Don't ask Spaffer. (Yes, spunked up the wall)


ii.
Ring a ring o' care homes
a pocket full of contracts
a tishoo, a tissue
of lies, lies, lies. (This is my favour. It works well on a few level. I especially like the way ‘tissue’ threads back to spaffer)


iii.
Spaffer the Workshy lost his sheep
and doesn't know where to find them.
At PMQ's the bleating news
is they are all behind him. (Very good)



.
Yes, Johnson is a complete arsehole or should I say dick :D .

Cheers,

Tristan

PS. I enjoy short pieces of doggerel. Private Eye, The New Statesman & The Spectator all do very good doggerel.

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Re: Childish

Post by NotQuiteSure » Tue Jul 21, 2020 1:20 pm

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Hi Tristan,
thanks for the read. Glad you enjoyed.

i - Perhaps a little too London-centric, but it seemed the place to start.

Been trying to convince myself this is a poem

Eye Test

Driving on a public highway,
during lockdown, to check
your vision. Can you see
the problem? Spaffer:
No.

Firebird wrote:
Mon Jul 20, 2020 8:23 pm
all do very good doggerel.
I'm not sure these constitute 'very good' :) ... well, maybe ii.


Regards, Not


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Firebird
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Re: Childish

Post by Firebird » Tue Jul 21, 2020 8:06 pm

Hi Not, I like the implication/irony that Spaffer (Johnson) is morally blind. Maybe shorten it to something like

Checking your eyesight during lockdown

Can you see
the problem?
Spaffer: ‘No’.

NotQuiteSure wrote:
Tue Jul 21, 2020 1:20 pm
.Eye Test

Driving on a public highway,
during lockdown, to check
your vision. Can you see
the problem? Spaffer:
No.
.

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Re: Childish

Post by NotQuiteSure » Wed Jul 22, 2020 2:19 pm

.
Hi Tristan.

I like this Firebird version, but I think it suffers from the same defect as mine. That last line, I just don't think it works as well as it should. Wondered about

Corona Virus Eye Test

Can you see
the problem?
No, said Spaffer

but this feels like it now lacks a punch line.
Any thoughts?


Regards, Not


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Re: Childish

Post by Firebird » Wed Jul 22, 2020 8:06 pm

Hi Not,

I‘m not sure I agree about that last line. I quite like it, and it also keeps the poem to three syllables a line.

Cheers,

Tristan

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Re: Childish

Post by NotQuiteSure » Thu Jul 23, 2020 11:29 am

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Hi Tristan,
maybe it's the title?

Barnard Castle Eye Test

Can you see
the problem?
Not at all
said Spaffer

or

I can't see
the problem
said Spaffer

Regards, Not

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