Am I an Englishman? (V4)

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bjondon
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Re: Am I an Englishman? (V4)

Post by bjondon » Sun Apr 21, 2019 4:29 pm

Thanks Not - I've shifted the here and given Derbyshire
its own line. I think that is a little better.
And I'm keeping my two thinks . . . it's all about the intonation,(see YouTube)
and a very English idiomatic thing so kind of appropriate, plus
the 'Yes!' does set it up differently.
Glad you've implicitly ticked the other changes.
Jules

NotQuiteSure
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Re: Am I an Englishman? (V4)

Post by NotQuiteSure » Sun Apr 21, 2019 4:48 pm

.
Hi Jules,

don't think you've cracked that verse yet.
A little better, yes, but not quite there.
Did you consider
Did seek and find it,
here, in London,
Devon, Derbyshire
?

It may be all about intonation, but not on the page :)
(And it looks like you're trying to stretch it out to a triplet.)
Wouldn't the intonation/idiomatic reading be
But yes!
I think I am
(an Englishman)
?


Regards, Not.


.

bjondon
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Re: Am I an Englishman? (V4)

Post by bjondon » Sun Apr 21, 2019 5:17 pm

Hmm
Thank you Not
I will take a breath to think on.
I would justify the triplet by the intended
emphasis on quite a big pause between
I think and I am . . . in fact maybe a comma
is worth a try there.
You are right ofcourse, the page is its own
special territory.
J

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