Away

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churinga
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Away

Post by churinga » Thu Jun 14, 2018 8:55 am

Away

The chivalry of self interest
is screaming in my ears
as the roundabout goes roundabout
and I change down the gears.

I think I have the know-how
to let my going go.
Goodly, into some other world
I've glimpsed but still don't know.

Lords of light on mystery boats
are out there setting sail.
They're far away,.. away,.. away.
And then my vision fails.

Macavity
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Re: Away

Post by Macavity » Thu Jun 14, 2018 5:37 pm

Lovely to read Ross. As an echo in sounds of Roethke's The Waking.

best

mac

David
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Re: Away

Post by David » Thu Jun 14, 2018 7:23 pm

Yes, very nice, Ross. I do find it hard to associate chivalry with self-interest, and "screaming" always (nearly always) strikes me as overdoing things in a poem. But I like L3, and L4 lovingly replicates the action you're talking about.

I wonder about "Goodly" too.

But I love S3. "Lords of light on mystery boats ..." - that's just great.

Cheers

David

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the stranger
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Re: Away

Post by the stranger » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:07 pm

"to let my going go."

I'll echo Mac's comment - Roethke indeed! one of my favourite poems.

I'll also echo David's comment: " I do find it hard to associate chivalry with self-interest" Only a self-obsessed poet could write a line like that! But I'm sure that wasn't your intention.

I like it, it flows beautifully, but is probably let down by: "They're far away,.. away,.. away." A childish vision from Enid Blyton...

I'm just echoing...

Cheers

churinga
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Re: Away

Post by churinga » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:28 pm

Mac, David and the Stranger

Thank you for your comments.

I did wonder if people might not know what a roundabout is. Many of our intersections now have them.

I just read Roethke's poem which I had not heard of. Very good, I am flattered to see it mentioned here.

I used 'screaming' for the alliteration with 'self' it did not occur to me that it was a bit over the top. I was thinking of tyres screeching on the roundabout.

Goodly, I can see how it might be taken as archaic,

The 'chivalry of self interest' applied to the rules of the roundabout, apart from that, I have no excuse for using it.

'Away, away', I have no rejoinder to the Enid Blyton reference except to say The Secret Seven' has left its mark on me.

cheers

Ross

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