Not only a cause

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Firebird
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Not only a cause

Post by Firebird » Sat Mar 03, 2018 6:26 pm

(Not really sure if this is working at all. It’s really an experiment.)

V3

He doesn’t like to use the word ‘as’,
in place of ‘because’
saying it sounds too weak,
because it only has one syllable
and contains no hard consonant.
But maybe it’s more than this,
as for a moment,
before reading on
there’s a passing possibility
however slim
‘as’ may mean something else.


V2

He doesn’t like to use ‘as’,
in place of ‘because’
saying it sounds too weak,
because it only has one syllable
and doesn't contain a hard consonant.
But maybe it’s more
than this, as for a moment
before I read on
there’s the possibility
however slim
it may mean something else.


V1

He says
‘as’ isn’t as strong as ‘because’,
because it only has one syllable
and possesses no hard sounds.
But maybe it’s more
than this, as for a moment
before we read on,
there’s the possibility
however slim
it may mean something else.

Macavity
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Re: Not only a cause

Post by Macavity » Sun Mar 04, 2018 8:07 pm

Hi Tristan

As a child, or as a parent to a child, because is one of those foundation words used to make sense of the world. I think I still default to because when I want to convey fact (of the impression of fact). as I suspect is more subtle and cunning. I realise this is outside writing references such as syllables and sounds, but poems trigger thoughts outside the frame!

best

mac

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JJWilliamson
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Re: Not only a cause

Post by JJWilliamson » Sun Mar 04, 2018 9:47 pm

You could write an essay on this one, Tristan, and still come out the other end unsure.
"She's as emphatic as a two bit ride, because nobody's going to drop below two bits".

Makes for a good topic of conservation and in the respect it works, but beyond that I'm not sure.
I'm on the fence as it seems like a good place to sit. I think "as" is less emphatic.

Best

JJ
Long time a child and still a child

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