Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

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the stranger
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Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

Post by the stranger » Thu Jan 22, 2015 1:34 am

Factory Gates:

Wrought.

Black:

Matted-morning eyeliner, thick as oil.

PG Tips:

Don’t believe superior teas come from Yorkshire, I’ve yet to stumble across a tea farm in the Dales!

I leapt:

A grey-tonne mass against my face, my nose a fossil.

Partridge Farm:

Fat flightless broods, blunt yellow necklace beaks.

A Seaside Town in winter:

The Sea, sharp-paper-points; such desolate energy.

Gypsy:

Hair sprung black, fingernails of ruddy iron.

Ant:

The little anvil headed communist.

Plagiarism:

so much depended upon the dead thrush speckled by mites unsubstantial under the umbrella

Bingo:

A blank dank street corner out-stages the rages held within.

Cul-de-sac:

All things mediocre, end. Then begin again.

Valentine Topiary:

Heart shaped pubic topiary, what did you talk to the hairdresser about?

Lighthouse:

abandon yourself upon a craggy rock, then take stock…

elotrooso
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Re: Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

Post by elotrooso » Thu Jan 22, 2015 2:59 am

Quite enjoyed this, stranger.

Not sure zi got the Plaguarism. The specificity of the speckled bird etc is what gave the game away?

Fun.

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Re: Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

Post by xanadu » Thu Jan 22, 2015 9:42 am

Zany and funny.Is there any connection between each poem or are they just random thoughts?
Maybe the PG tips one is more a one line quip than a poem but overall quite a quirky and fun piece. :D

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the stranger
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Re: Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

Post by the stranger » Thu Jan 22, 2015 3:37 pm

Thanks guys.
Is there any connection between each poem or are they just random thoughts?
They are all poems I've written (in full) and got to thinking would a single line actually summarise the whole poem? Were the other lines actually superfluous?

Just a thought I was playing around with.

And yes the PG tips was more of a gag really.

Cheers
TS

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Re: Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

Post by KevJ » Fri Jan 23, 2015 6:45 pm

An entertaining exercise I think. And certainly made me smile. Particularly liked the Ant. :D


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Re: Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

Post by ray miller » Fri Jan 23, 2015 10:06 pm

I like The Ant and Plagiarism. I hate that wheelbarrow man and that's any day of the week depending on nothing. But I'd like to see the original ant poem.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.

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Re: Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

Post by cynwulf » Mon Jan 26, 2015 11:39 am

An excellent conceit, very enjoyable.
regards,C.

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Re: Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

Post by John G » Sat Jan 31, 2015 11:22 am

Like the concept and looseness of this. The surreal juxtaposition between each set is great. Not sure if there is a narrative running through it or an overriding idea but great all the same.

Love the line about the communists.
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.

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Re: Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

Post by oranggunung » Sun Feb 01, 2015 4:45 pm

Hi TS

I think there’s an art to summarising poems/ideas/stories so briefly. I can’t say I’m familiar with the originals, but I find your summaries very pleasing.

I suspect you’d write very good haiku, especially if you allowed yourself to depart from the strictures of a 5-7-5 format. Maybe you do, already. Or maybe haibun would be of interest – a combination of descriptive prose and haiku?

enjoyed

og

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Re: Poems condensed into single lines, with titles!

Post by Gbn » Tue Feb 03, 2015 7:52 pm

Criticism
The voices of strangers ring in my ears and fears

I like the concept and the deceptive simplicity of the exercise...

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