My space

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Suzanne
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My space

Post by Suzanne » Sun Jun 07, 2009 12:27 pm

As golden moon wanes,
drifting meteors remind-
nothing is simple.
Gravity diffuses time.
My bruised heartache's a black hole.






---
A trapped gold moon wanes.
Grey meteorites drift north.
Nothing is simple.
Diffusing with gravity,
my snuffed ache blues in black holes.






-
Last edited by Suzanne on Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.

arunansu
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Re: My space

Post by arunansu » Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:08 am

Why "north"? I sure missed it!

Rest is wonderful. Magical, to some extent.
Thanks.

Mic
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Re: My space

Post by Mic » Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:09 am

Suzanne,

Well, this certainly has a colourful spaceyness to it. Nothing is simple; but the more complicated it gets, the more beautiful it is.
I struggled with some of this one, must confess - especially the physics (and comprehension) of the last part.

you have a typo - diffusing.

(I am probably being too literal-minded.)

Mic
"Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you" - Rumi

Lovely
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Re: My space

Post by Lovely » Mon Jun 08, 2009 8:28 pm

I'm struggling a bit to understand what you want to say more clearly here.

If you mean the blackhole atomises one then I understand the ache and feeling at times, that 'ripped apart' feeling.

Your work is very prolific on the whole and can be inspirational for sure for so many. Truly.

As I say, perhaps it's just me reading it wrong here.

Sometimes i think it's better to leave the stanza as it is and add to it in the coming days rather than rush it off. Often the
(key) to the poem comes later. So take your time, Su. Patience will serve you well in this.

We're here to help each other.........

Love,

Lxx

Suzanne
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Re: My space

Post by Suzanne » Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:07 pm

Thank you for the replies. I have edited.
All poems as not equal, some are finished before they begin. lol

Warmly,
Suzanne

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Re: My space

Post by Lovely » Tue Jun 09, 2009 4:17 pm

That' so nice, su.

Meaning felt so sweetly.

Love the wisdom hidden somehow in this to.

In a way, how peace in focus is a powerful tool?


Thanks Su,

L

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