Search found 49 matches

by riverrun
Sun Jun 23, 2019 6:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: quite unnatural moth (revision)
Replies: 3
Views: 500

Re: quite unnatural moth (revision)

Hi Mac and Poet. Thank you both for the revision and comment respectively. I'm still figuring better ideas to some stanzas

Best
by riverrun
Sat Jun 22, 2019 3:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: the strange craft of autumn
Replies: 5
Views: 670

Re: the strange craft of autumn

HI thank you Poet for your comment. I'm reading what you are writing. I'll post properly this weekend.

Best
by riverrun
Sat Jun 22, 2019 3:40 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: quite unnatural moth (revision)
Replies: 3
Views: 500

quite unnatural moth (revision)

suddenly I woke up but I'm not sure if it was yesterday or tomorrow -- at nightfall is always a pleasure when words fail and all this weekly Babel can rest in peace within our lips -- to put aside all plainspoken speeches along impossible islands or maybe bypass daily standards until none bystander ...
by riverrun
Tue Jun 11, 2019 3:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: the strange craft of autumn
Replies: 5
Views: 670

Re: the strange craft of autumn

I agree with you Jules that the scientific tone breaks the romantic mood a little bit, though I wanted it when I established the craftmanship of autumn, this factory of feelings so common at that time; but this ended up unraveling the poem, so I must agree with you. I thought about "redundant" yes M...
by riverrun
Tue Jun 11, 2019 3:13 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: the strange craft of autumn
Replies: 5
Views: 670

the strange craft of autumn

autumn leaves never really convinced me, neither its yellow shades upon trial and error of lovers attempts as well the persistence on beta decays that foster our dreams and drama of oncoming winter that never delays exactly at season's breach -- in our hearts never tired of purpose, rhymes and bloom...
by riverrun
Tue Jun 04, 2019 4:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: core structure of absence (revision)
Replies: 15
Views: 2264

Re: core structure of absence (revision)

First your questions go well beyond my poem. And that's great. I'm going to add some excerpts of literary critics to better frame to me what you wrote. First of all I want to speak of translation but not exactly of the text, in other words, what it is translation? A french poet and essayst Henri Mes...
by riverrun
Tue Jun 04, 2019 3:38 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: core structure of absence (revision)
Replies: 15
Views: 2264

Re: core structure of absence (revision)

Sorry my delay to reply Bjondon and HonourStedman. I was invoveld here with family health issues and couldn't answer properly. Bjondon I must say your criticism are the very reason why I joined this forum. Very pleased by your corrections, comments and ideas creating a background to discuss poetry i...
by riverrun
Tue May 21, 2019 1:37 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: core structure of absence (revision)
Replies: 15
Views: 2264

Re: core structure of absence (revision)

Hi Bjondon. I must say first that I'm glad that I met you guys in this forum. The questions and advice are always pertinent. Always. As if everyone really want to peel the skin of poems through many perspectives. This is what interpretation is about ( inter + praetium ), between values. But to me is...
by riverrun
Mon May 20, 2019 6:57 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: core structure of absence (revision)
Replies: 15
Views: 2264

Re: core structure of absence (revision)

Oh sure I'll try to do next time. I'm not good in editing. I did prefer "unsolved" because it's more ambiguous and elliptical. So as "unsolved" it can be a open, without clousure sigh or a diluted sigh and both meanings satisfy the central idea of the poem, and also match with the other scientific t...
by riverrun
Sat May 18, 2019 11:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: core structure of absence (revision)
Replies: 15
Views: 2264

Re: core structure of absence (revision)

I must confess some of those terms did catch my attention on many TED talks. Of course most of the time these terms are supported by versed speakers but it always seemed to me a bit cheesy (too convenient speak about new age, zeitgeist, etc), these wisdom pills inside pocket shows. As a reader and a...
by riverrun
Fri May 17, 2019 1:01 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: core structure of absence (revision)
Replies: 15
Views: 2264

Re: core structure of absence

Thank you Jackie. You are absolutely right. I liked your specific and technical advice. I follow the literary criticism spectrum of I.A. Richards. His book "Practical Criticism" is basically the foundation of what you summed up in your commentary. Sometimes logic eludes in the poetic process, its cr...
by riverrun
Thu May 16, 2019 11:23 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: core structure of absence (revision)
Replies: 15
Views: 2264

Re: core structure of absence

You're right, certain words can not be handled carelessly. They need adequate semantic and rhythmic conditions around them. I liked the post you send to me.

Best
by riverrun
Tue May 14, 2019 1:05 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: core structure of absence (revision)
Replies: 15
Views: 2264

core structure of absence (revision)

I never learned how to stop I never learned how to start when I realized I was already in mezzo del cammin fractionating the mea culpa through the coffee breaks setting a pace where the sunset is the same invitation, and love which wasn't even aforementioned become evident of so invisible within the...
by riverrun
Wed May 01, 2019 2:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: of spotless ways of despair
Replies: 4
Views: 1012

Re: of spotless ways of despair

Hi Peter thanks for your comment. I'm also amazed by the mystery of simplicity/complexity of events and things. We never know for sure when is when. If I tag something as "simple" that exactly things will turn to be complex; if I do the opposite, the complexity slips through my fingers. If we talk a...
by riverrun
Tue Apr 30, 2019 2:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: of spotless ways of despair
Replies: 4
Views: 1012

Re: of spotless ways of despair

First I really thank your comment. For me the world's most unstable and pure religion is the reading. The reader, this entity which after centuries of violence and confusion remains intact. Like you I think that poetry has much more to do with the history of ideas than just the compaction of verses ...
by riverrun
Sun Apr 28, 2019 4:08 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: Breaker (revised)
Replies: 16
Views: 5593

Re: Breaker (revised)

There is something archaic in the mist-haze-fog uk scenery. It completly eludes me. You can clearly see this aspect in Shakespeare main tragedies, also in painters like JW Turner, the amazing pallete of cloudy weather. It's rare to see clear skies. So all british, welsh and scots are conciously and ...
by riverrun
Sun Apr 28, 2019 3:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: of spotless ways of despair
Replies: 4
Views: 1012

of spotless ways of despair

to dry out in loneliness, in broken little ideas, to burn the body mass all those dreams of self substance without eradicate it completely: intoxicated by our almost feats while unable to rebound across midnight, of what is real in our reverse angels flight; their over-deliberated exposed bones do c...
by riverrun
Tue Apr 23, 2019 10:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: cumulonimbus (revised)
Replies: 6
Views: 773

Re: cumulonimbus

Hi Mac thanks for the comment and the correction. Actually I'm still trying to figure it out how I do the revision. Still newbie here.
by riverrun
Tue Apr 23, 2019 7:14 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: cumulonimbus (revised)
Replies: 6
Views: 773

Re: cumulonimbus

Always liked to read authors in their original language. And after some time reading in other language you came to think in that specific way but not entirely, maybe only a second nature -- but it's not only that -- you start to merge you native way to others languages and systems of thought (format...
by riverrun
Mon Apr 22, 2019 9:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: cumulonimbus (revised)
Replies: 6
Views: 773

Re: cumulonimbus

I'm natural from Rio de Janeiro and i live near the CT of Flamengo FC where happened that accident. It was very close to my condo. I wrote this about that time. It was a national commotion and people overly expressed their feelings. Media, churchs, gov, police... everyone seemed to a want a piece of...
by riverrun
Mon Apr 22, 2019 3:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: cumulonimbus (revised)
Replies: 6
Views: 773

cumulonimbus (revised)

before we fulfill an instant ten boys would return to dust amidst wide verses that barely withstand the signs of the dawn under the blue sky without meanings and urges: at times the best thing to do is scatter like the clouds, with- draw what our hands must seek, letting the absolute death achieve i...
by riverrun
Sun Apr 21, 2019 7:17 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Lycorine in the Living Room (revised)
Replies: 14
Views: 1543

Re: Lycorine in the Living Room (revised)

I liked your and other coments about the clear intetion of symmetry (geometry/music). And right from start in your title: Lycorine - Living Room. You placed together two things perfectly distant (180°?) but with similar vocalization: 1: Lycorine couldn't be more rare as title (even more as first wor...
by riverrun
Mon Apr 08, 2019 8:54 am
Forum: Post-a-Translation
Topic: entrenchment clauses by ramonlvdiaz
Replies: 3
Views: 6271

entrenchment clauses by ramonlvdiaz

[eng] I see on tv set the proclamation of an outcry, a zealous district attorney charging zealots, denouncing in his own nuncio all the sins beyond equator, maybe dazed by ipso facto and equinoxes, in tridimensional worksheets that gave birth to Watergates, Tea Parties and Trail of Tears to everyone...
by riverrun
Mon Apr 08, 2019 7:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Perpetual Motion
Replies: 14
Views: 2112

Re: Perpetual Motion

There a lot of events and phenomea implicit on a poem, things that wonderfully escape the reader's reach and, not infrequently, from who wrote them. I always amaze myself with the ability of a poem to be elusive, the one attempt to "tame" a reading or writing. There is something archaic and transcen...