Search found 47 matches

by dafra
Sat Aug 30, 2014 9:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Referendum
Replies: 15
Views: 1594

Re: Referendum

Hi Elphin I liked the poem but found the explicit reference to the metaphor a little off putting. When the rowan begins to bleed, haemorrhaging the summer heat thumb-prick by thumb-prick. Although I'm not certain about the thumb-prick, it sounds good and I suppose the round globule of blood is berry...
by dafra
Sat Aug 30, 2014 8:14 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Trust
Replies: 5
Views: 713

Re: Trust

Hi Mac Thank you for your comments. The whole poem is Disney whimsy and the last two stanza are delivering 'the message'. I do love reviving beings. Just come in from blowing into a spuggies beak that lay stricken after hitting the window. She's safely under the washing basket hopefully recovering. ...
by dafra
Sat Aug 30, 2014 7:27 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: I love weeds.
Replies: 12
Views: 1655

Re: I love weeds.

Thanks Mac Good of you to spend time on this. I do love adjectives so I perhaps overuse them in the view of others. I was using rank in the sense of row but I didn't want to repeat row. My important word here was ordered as in told to go to their positions as well as sorted into colour size etc. Thi...
by dafra
Fri Aug 29, 2014 3:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Little Green Apples - post deleted
Replies: 11
Views: 1234

Re: Little Green Apples - post deleted

I'm sorry this has been deleted Moth as I was really interested in it. As I've said before this was my first post which never made it to the page for some reason, My post really was a comment on the identity of the observer as all parents had left and yet his/her daughter was there. I didn't think i...
by dafra
Fri Aug 29, 2014 3:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Written in a North Country Churchyard(Revised)
Replies: 11
Views: 1292

Re: Threnody in Shades of Gray

This just flowed with unforced rhythm and rhyme for me and what's more I understood it straight away. Is it really necessary for me to nit pick because any little flaws were well covered by the poetry? Well just for appearances sake I wouldn't want to be chainsawing in the dark. Our combines only us...
by dafra
Thu Aug 28, 2014 10:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Trust
Replies: 5
Views: 713

Trust

Trust The drone of life had long since ceased. Her handsome body lay cocooned A second time, unbidden fate Within the spider's shrouded peace. I cleared the web with feathered wand Then carefully released the gold on black with silver whitened rump That lay within its silken bond. A feeble tremor sh...
by dafra
Thu Aug 28, 2014 10:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Our Only CD
Replies: 17
Views: 2251

Re: Car CD

Quite often get mesmerised, no talk between us, head dips, jerk awake, must rest, try the radio, no good, have to stop before we are silenced forever.
This was my take on your poem which I liked.
by dafra
Thu Aug 28, 2014 9:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Oyster Pebble
Replies: 13
Views: 1252

Re: Oyster Pebble

Mummified?
by dafra
Thu Aug 28, 2014 8:44 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Give it a try
Replies: 6
Views: 2243

Re: Give it a try

No David not Welsh nor department of food and rural affairs, just a sort of portmanteau I always use on the internet.
by dafra
Thu Aug 28, 2014 8:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: I love weeds.
Replies: 12
Views: 1655

Re: I love weeds.

Thank you David (for being gentle) The first line was the title and was there by accident but it looks good, so yes, a comma. Yes 'mongst is a bit pretentious. I like tortoiseshell children too much. I wasn't thinking of caterpillars but rather a nursery of swaddled pupae metamorphising into butterf...
by dafra
Thu Aug 28, 2014 7:24 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Give it a try
Replies: 6
Views: 2243

Re: Give it a try

Thanks Seth. The reason I would repost here would be to get proper comments. The other forum generally offered little constructive criticism. Just 'l like it', that sort of thing. I probably won't alter anything, just good to get another's opinion. Right, as I say I'm rather unproductive just now bu...
by dafra
Thu Aug 28, 2014 7:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: I love weeds.
Replies: 12
Views: 1655

Re: I love weeds.

Thank you Jackie for commenting. The weeds go wild when raised in well fertilized beds and quickly outgrow their carefully bred cousins. It is a sacrifice and a gift. Obviously weeds have no say in the matter and my whimsy was to give them free will. Just as soldiers could sacrifice their lives and ...
by dafra
Thu Aug 28, 2014 3:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Oyster Pebble
Replies: 13
Views: 1252

Re: Oyster Pebble

Thanks Richard for the clarification. I did find L'enclume pictures very confusing with descriptions hard to relate. Very artistic and I'm sure tasted fantastic but very little. In my vulgar way I would have served them all together What are Mummied kidneys? I know the Ancient Egyptians were pragmat...
by dafra
Thu Aug 28, 2014 3:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Silver Piece
Replies: 13
Views: 1519

Re: The Silver Piece

Hi Mike Like Beo I am new here and finding it difficult to find recent posts with sufficient lucidity that I can at least understand without too much effort so I can offer an opinion. The cursed coins that dropped from the suicide's hand, lost for centuries, is a strong idea. So thank you for that. ...
by dafra
Thu Aug 28, 2014 1:37 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Give it a try
Replies: 6
Views: 2243

Give it a try

Hi I've come from another forum so prolific, it hurt and I was attracted here by the words, 'this is not a love-in'. The poems here don't come thick and fast and I hope that it will be quality counts. I really am having it hard to find some poetry I can identify with so far. Much seems quite obscure...
by dafra
Thu Aug 28, 2014 1:16 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: You Can't Talk to Ebola (Ebola Version 3)
Replies: 21
Views: 1684

Re: Ebola

I presume the butted refers to a gun butt Ancliff.
The last stanza is very powerful with the torching of infected bodies by people who loved the victims in juxtra position with the torching of the first st by people who hate.
by dafra
Wed Aug 27, 2014 10:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Oyster Pebble
Replies: 13
Views: 1252

Re: Oyster Pebble

Sorry, other than the rather pleasant read, I found the opacity too much for any further enjoyment. It did recall the feeding stone with chewed crayfish claws left by our otters.
by dafra
Wed Aug 27, 2014 9:44 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7627
Views: 984214

Re: Haiku Train

One colossal weight
Taken from little closed minds.
No more prejudice.
by dafra
Tue Aug 26, 2014 1:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mum (revised)
Replies: 10
Views: 991

Re: Mum (revised)

Hi Macavity I'm looking at the revision. Generally I liked the poem but I found the flow and rhythm of the revision also off-putting. May I suggest something like Her happiness she said depends on me and oven chips. There's heard no froth within her voice, a glass of ice that tingles vertebrae with ...
by dafra
Sun Aug 24, 2014 9:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: I love weeds.
Replies: 12
Views: 1655

Re: I love weeds.

I posted a reply to little green apples but it doesn't seem to have been accepted. I have a problem with two accounts and the wrong one appears to have been activated. Dafran instead of dafra.
by dafra
Sat Aug 23, 2014 9:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: I love weeds.
Replies: 12
Views: 1655

I love weeds.

Revision 28th August I love weeds, Every one a miracle Growing uninvited amongst ordered ranks, Each seedling sampling over-fertile earth And finding such nutrition, Bursts above its pampered cousin. Kid gloved against the nettle's sting Whose serried rows stand in wilderness Raising tortoiseshell ...
by dafra
Wed Aug 20, 2014 6:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Liberated
Replies: 6
Views: 1102

Re: Liberated

To enjoy this at its best this needs to be read aloud then the rap just flows with the rhythm and rhyme intensified. For me it wasn't a release after incarceration but that freedom that comes when all is right in the world and she is out there for me. I certainly will visit again on an equatorial be...