Search found 40 matches

by nottslinnet
Sun Feb 02, 2014 9:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Blackness Blurs
Replies: 3
Views: 468

Blackness Blurs

Blackness blurs on your head & shoulders Darkness drops like a lovers tears Soft & silent, hurt & hurting Remembering, trembling, fancied fears. Wondering what is you're wondering Wondering if you still fancy me No touching - but in touching distant Of a hand, an arm, a wounded knee Lying stiffly, s...
by nottslinnet
Sat Feb 01, 2014 10:22 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: An Arrow from Paris
Replies: 9
Views: 795

Re: An Arrow from Paris

Kev

Old blues song - the version in my head is by MC5 a sort of proto punk band

Jackie

Kiss an empty space is deliberate - indicating the falseness & sterility of the 'kiss'

My poems are 'allusive' - they reference important things in my life- down by the river is a classic Neil Young song
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: An Arrow from Paris
Replies: 9
Views: 795

Re: An Arrow from Paris

Hi Seth I see your point - its something I probably do unconsciously as I am quite prone to olde 'quottes & sayeings'. Much of what I write is indeed semi-humorous (or at least poking fun at myself and others) and ironic, but I couldn't honestly claim that the phrase in question was meant in either ...
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: oh god not another poem on schiz
Replies: 4
Views: 398

Re: oh god not another poem on schiz

Clemonz Hi. I'm already looking at your 3rd poem! I think you have a lot of natural talent - some of your imagery is wonderful (i'll get round to the detail in a minute) - but its very raw at the moment. I think you have to think whether you want it to remain raw or whether you want it to be more 'p...
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:16 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: In The Suburbs (prose poem)
Replies: 9
Views: 684

Re: In The Suburbs (prose poem)

David For me, that's not a poem. Its well-written but its not a poem. Is the 'coating of dulux apple white' a reference to semen? Why is Frazer a fool for being 'put off leaving his wife'. Surely Sophia just wanted sex with him, not for him to leave his wife, so isn't he doing the right thing in her...
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:04 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Ah, hello, its me....
Replies: 7
Views: 3387

Re: Ah, hello, its me....

Hi Ros & David - I'm a he, Simon, but also a gannet in the food sense.
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 10:04 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bog Standard Englynion
Replies: 12
Views: 977

Re: Bog Standard Englynion

General Comment I'm brand new to this and really impressed by the quaility of work on here. Its not all good, but all of it, has good bits This poem I'm a big history fan - and I like flowers, so I loved it from the very first. The idea of irises standing behind a shieldwall is lovely, and I like 's...
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 9:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Parasite
Replies: 11
Views: 1065

Re: Parasite

Hello David, Not sure if this is the accidental death of a friend, or a sly murder ('his kind of love' suggesting the involvement of a 3rd person) The use of 'thing' at the end is completely correct - its an unknown, indescribable, something, that killed your friend - thing makes it alien, incompreh...
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:57 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: An Arrow from Paris
Replies: 9
Views: 795

An Arrow from Paris

An Arrow from Paris “You drive me nuts”, No ifs and no buts”, My baby tells me so, And draws back her bow. Lets an arrow fly She wants to hear me cry When it’s buried in my heel. My Achilles heel. As lovers we embrace Air-kiss an empty space And swiftly fall apart. Then by an angry dart Is my consci...
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:55 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: This Was Our Plan
Replies: 7
Views: 690

Re: This Was Our Plan

Jackie, hello I got a salty whiff of Kipling's - The Harp Song of the Dane Women from this, and I love that poem. I got the countryside, the sea, the distance between bays and between farms, I got 'northern'- though maybe that's just because I associate those things with the north, coming as I do fr...
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:45 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Dripping Ink, Simply Love
Replies: 3
Views: 566

Re: Dripping Ink, Simply Love

Wow! That's really very good, for the most part. The first 3 lines of the first 2 verses are absolutely beautiful. For some reason your 4th line lets you down in both verses, I understood nothing from them - why would unseen wings be suspended in caffeinated hearts, for example? 3rd verse - why imbi...
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:31 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Red
Replies: 12
Views: 832

Re: Red

Red's a dog, guarding a scrap-metal yard, I guess. Its nice that he takes food from the hand - it makes him a bit more approachable (no pun intended). The use of 'now' conveys the civilising effect he's been through, presumably he used to be vicious / aggressive / hostile. That one word tells us a l...
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:23 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Tea Songs...
Replies: 6
Views: 583

Re: Tea Songs...

Ah clemonz again - I've just seen your '4 meters'. Putting the two poems together I'm beginning to think your lack of friends and 'worn out life-style' is because you have very young children. I'm new to looking at other peoples poetry so what I say may have no real value - I think tho' that you nee...
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:13 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: 4 lines of meter
Replies: 6
Views: 637

Re: 4 lines of meter

Not sure why you have posted these 4 lines as its not clear if they're part of a work in progress and you want some help or the finished article. Like David i like the last line and a half - which captures a lot of modern-day relationships very well in a sadly ironic way. IN my opinion you need to m...
by nottslinnet
Fri Jan 31, 2014 8:03 am
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Ah, hello, its me....
Replies: 7
Views: 3387

Ah, hello, its me....

I think as a poet each of us is a little self-absorbed - so I haven't read what anyone else has put into their introduction. I wrote my first poem at school, oh, about 45 years ago, and I won a Kit-Kat. It seemed lucrative but I didn't pursue it! My second poem was about a girl - written at Univeris...