Search found 522 matches

by cynwulf
Mon Nov 18, 2013 10:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Lunatick
Replies: 13
Views: 1172

Re: The Lunatick

I now live in N Yorks, but my heart is still in the West Midlands and the Welsh Marches, I have spent more than half my life in that part of the world, Edgbaston, Sedgley and Wolverhampton and I wd like my remains to be scattered on The Stiperstones when that day comes.
Regards, Cynwulf.
by cynwulf
Mon Nov 18, 2013 9:56 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Lunatick
Replies: 13
Views: 1172

Re: The Lunatick

Hello again Ray, Lunartick seems to be a Wikipedia aberration, not always reliable-they claimed in an article on the Lunar Soc that Boulton's Soho works was in London (that may now have been corrected). All the historians I have read say Lunatick eg Dr Kate Iles (Lecture at B'ham University-see Uni'...
by cynwulf
Mon Nov 18, 2013 9:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Lunatick
Replies: 13
Views: 1172

Re: The Lunatick

Hi David, Thanks for reading this. Your comments are useful, my responses: dripping eddying--trying to suggest the movement of shadows caused by the trees, idea of dripping came from listening to Beethoven's piano sonata which seems to drip, need to think, problem is almost any epithet comes as hack...
by cynwulf
Sun Nov 17, 2013 3:45 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Lunatick
Replies: 13
Views: 1172

Re: The Lunatick

Hi Mac, Thanks for your comments and for reading my effusion. Much appreciated. A few responses: road/track--yes, you're right line needs revision, as it needs a double syllable there ancient city-- the city referred to is Lichfield which had its origins in the Roman town of Letocetum, this name pro...
by cynwulf
Sun Nov 17, 2013 2:55 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Lunatick
Replies: 13
Views: 1172

Re: The Lunatick

Hello Ray, Thanks for your comments. Counterfeited dawn refers to the sky lit by furnaces ie a human made dawn, and further perhaps, the dawning industrial revolution. The poem is meant as an ironic view of "progress". I did have a figure in mind-William Withering, member of the B'ham Lunar Soc -he ...
by cynwulf
Sun Nov 17, 2013 2:44 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Lunatick
Replies: 13
Views: 1172

Re: The Lunatick

Hi Jackie,
You're right I'm overfond of adjectives-need to slim when I revise
by cynwulf
Sat Nov 16, 2013 10:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Lunatick
Replies: 13
Views: 1172

The Lunatick

The Lunatick Enlightenment on the Lichfield to Birmingham Road. Late 18thC. The moonlight pouring through the copse Drips in eddies over the rider, Studying the road's track through the shadows into the valley. The ancient city gleams-grey under the full moon. Three stark spires reach from its corps...
by cynwulf
Sat Nov 16, 2013 9:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Joy Forever (challenge)
Replies: 10
Views: 771

Re: A Joy Forever (challenge)

Hi Seth, Thanks for your comments, glad you enjoyed it. Yes the last lines are a summary, though I don't understand the comment about a sentence-I haven't studied grammar since my ''O Level'' English papers as a teenager and so am no grammarian, but I thought it was a sentence (subject,predicate inc...
by cynwulf
Fri Nov 08, 2013 1:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Translation
Topic: Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva
Replies: 12
Views: 7109

Re: Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva

Hi Lake andk-j, Difference is due to case ending ,the first example is accusative, the rest nominative. A literal translation: Mountain Ash They cut At dawn Mountain Ash Fortune (is)(no present tense in Russian for verb To be) Bitter Mountain Ash Grey-haired (in the instrumental case to agree with n...
by cynwulf
Wed Nov 06, 2013 11:36 am
Forum: Post-a-Translation
Topic: Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva
Replies: 12
Views: 7109

Re: Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva

Hello Lake,
Difficult without using the IPA to transliterate the sounds as English spelling is so unphonetic, but it would sound something like:
Ryabeenoo
Roobilee
Zorrkayoo
Ryabina
Soodbeena
Gorrkaya
Ryabeena
Syedimee
Spooskamee
Ryabeena
Soodbeena
Rooskaya.
Hope that helps.
Best wishes,
Cynwulf.
by cynwulf
Tue Nov 05, 2013 3:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Joy Forever (challenge)
Replies: 10
Views: 771

Re: A Joy Forever (challenge)

Thanks for your comment. Yes its really meant to be philosophical, the obvious references are to Keats Endymion and Blake's Tyger and Lamb poems. Glad that someone's understood it.
by cynwulf
Tue Nov 05, 2013 3:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Translation
Topic: Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva
Replies: 12
Views: 7109

Re: Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva

Thankyou Ros.
by cynwulf
Tue Nov 05, 2013 2:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Translation
Topic: Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva
Replies: 12
Views: 7109

Re: Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva

yes such as it is it's my own
by cynwulf
Fri Nov 01, 2013 10:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Translation
Topic: Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva
Replies: 12
Views: 7109

Re: Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva

As a new member I'm unsure of the logistics here, so apologies if this is a double post.
This is my own work. Russian can be terser than English so the translation is wordier than the original, but I have tried to retain the 3 syllable structure and something of the rhyme scheme
by cynwulf
Fri Nov 01, 2013 10:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Neo-Nazi
Replies: 13
Views: 1232

Re: Neo-Nazi

I think use of pristine makes yore redundant, it's repeating the same idea. Yore does rather stand out as if you've been forced by your rhyme scheme to use this word. Does the last verse refer to Powell's 'Foaming Tiber' speech? Things have actually improved since then in general (I write as a Wulfr...
by cynwulf
Fri Nov 01, 2013 10:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Spring
Replies: 19
Views: 1283

Re: Spring

A poem well worth reading, apart from the abstractions towards the end. I find the imagery and clarity of expression convey the atmosphere well, and the metaphors are well chosen. The last stanza doesn't add anything though for me. I have great sympathy with your responses on vocabulary, no poet sho...
by cynwulf
Fri Nov 01, 2013 9:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Green Bay
Replies: 12
Views: 1159

Re: Green Bay

Story's fine. I agree with your views on fashion in modern poetry-in many ways it has become rather prescriptive on style and topics. Obviously, Patience Strong type verse ain't something to copy, but I can see nothing wrong with rhyming. Yet I don't understand why you've stuck to one rhyme (rather ...
by cynwulf
Thu Oct 31, 2013 12:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Joy Forever (challenge)
Replies: 10
Views: 771

A Joy Forever (challenge)

A Joy Forever The parasitologist grasps the glistening liver, Lifts it from the Dewar Flask. Vapour crawls across the cysts Seething on the tepid surface, Hydatids, some as big as tennis balls. She picks one out, bursts it with a scalpel, Scrapes its wall, frees the protoscolices, Pipettes them to a...
by cynwulf
Tue Oct 29, 2013 4:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Thermo-couple (Second attempt)
Replies: 16
Views: 1849

Re: Thermo-couple (Second attempt)

Response to a poem is inevitably subjective. I found this rather as the curate found his egg. I think the punning ambiguity of the title is excellent as is the scenario/ambience of the poem. You clearly have a talent for rhyming and rhythm, qualities I envy... but to me the rhymes are rather too sna...
by cynwulf
Mon Oct 28, 2013 1:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Translation
Topic: Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva
Replies: 12
Views: 7109

Rowan Tree -by Marina Tsvetaeva

Рябину
Рубили
Зорькою.
Рябина--
Судьбина
Горкая.
Рябина--
Седыми
Спусками.
Рябина!
Судьбина
Яусская.

Rowan tree
Breaking day
Axes hew.
Rowan tree--
Doomed to die
Bitterly.
Rowan tree--
Hoary boughs
Falling now.
Rowan tree!
So ensues
Russia's woe.
by cynwulf
Thu Oct 24, 2013 3:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Comet
Replies: 7
Views: 841

Re: Comet

Nice subject. Was this triggered by the events in the Urals earlier in the year? Not sure about the title, the poem suggests meteorites to me rather than a comet. Perhaps you could find a stronger, more imagistic verb than 'abound' in line 1. Rhyrhm goes rather awry in the second line, otherwise mai...
by cynwulf
Thu Oct 24, 2013 3:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Hares At Dawn
Replies: 18
Views: 1558

Re: Hares At Dawn

As a zoologist I like the poem and the atmosphere it conveys. Title is a good precis of the content. I did find the imagery perhaps contradictory in that the sculptor chips away material to reveal his image, whereas 'solidifying limb by limb' gives the idea of concrescence- like a crystal gradually ...