Search found 1917 matches

by Firebird
Fri Apr 03, 2015 9:52 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Snakeskin April 2015
Replies: 8
Views: 1147

Re: Snakeskin April 2015

Jane, I too enjoyed your three poems. Quality shorts.

I also had some in. The first is entitled 'Life'.

Really liked the eclectic mix of poems in this edition. It's always a good read.

Best wishes,

Firebird
by Firebird
Fri Mar 27, 2015 9:06 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Quotes
Replies: 7
Views: 955

Quotes

"In the alpine house
at Harlow Carr
tiny jewel-like flowers thrive
far below the tree line."
by Firebird
Thu Mar 12, 2015 9:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Grooming
Replies: 8
Views: 982

Re: Grooming

Hi Ray, I too felt the sense of powerlessness in this poem. It's terrible that so many of us contribute in different ways to this situation. Anyway to the poem. It affected me, which is good thing. I'm not a great fan of poem titles that are the last word of the poem too. For me, it makes the title ...
by Firebird
Wed Mar 11, 2015 7:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Over the Radar
Replies: 5
Views: 844

Re: Over the Radar

I really like the first stanza and 'stumbling uphill' and 'shelves of wind are breaking up'. I also like in the second stanza 'airs deepest point'. However, I think the final stanza somehow needs to do more. It seems to much of an extrapolation of the final line of the second stanza. Maybe something...
by Firebird
Mon Mar 09, 2015 1:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Blue of the morning (revised)
Replies: 30
Views: 2357

Re: Blue of the morning

I found the uncertain mood and flow of this piece carried me through it very quickly. I like it, a lot. I loved the sound and meaning of the following lines: ... patterns that start with a line in a restaurant menu, continue behind a pawnshop window, and end in the pocket of a tram driver I also lik...
by Firebird
Mon Mar 09, 2015 11:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Riffage
Replies: 16
Views: 1751

Re: Riffage

Here goes my take on the possible meaning. Riffage Blow it out (Possibly a candle) and what the hell let's establish the nature of our proximity. (In the dark you may be your natural selves) Light in this vernacular is not my default setting, (you find it difficult to communicate when using your loc...
by Firebird
Sun Mar 08, 2015 9:44 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Wild Camp
Replies: 17
Views: 1546

Re: Wild Camp

I really like the way this reads. Engaging and understated. I liked it.

All my best,

Firebird
by Firebird
Fri Mar 06, 2015 6:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Lager (Parody)
Replies: 8
Views: 1312

Re: Lager (Parody)

JJ, I love this parody. I like the fact that you have kept Blake's line structure of three-and-a-half spondaic feet, which gives them such force and keeps the reader constantly moving on.

Love it! I too like lager.

Firebird
by Firebird
Tue Feb 24, 2015 8:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Four Memories
Replies: 12
Views: 1476

Re: Four Memories

JJ, many thanks for your very useful comments. I have tried to develop the second stanza in a more concrete way as you suggested. I feel though that the second line is now a little clichéd. Ros, I have also added to the final stanza and included some of your line suggestions, too. Many thanks to you...
by Firebird
Tue Feb 24, 2015 1:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Among the mummies
Replies: 25
Views: 2178

Re: Among the mummies

David, I think the abruptness of the final line makes it sound a little humorous, but I also felt it was somehow sad, too: I did think the child was being mummified against his will (jutting lower lip). I agree about the word 'expressionlessness' being a bit of a tongue-twister. Maybe another word m...
by Firebird
Tue Feb 24, 2015 1:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 2)
Replies: 24
Views: 2481

Re: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens

JJ, this reads really well. However, I tend to agree about the words 'dene' and 'lumes' being a little obscure. I, too, love the last line. May I suggest though that the word 'pitch' is used instead of 'chip', to avoid the unfortunate pun.

Hope this help a little.

All my best,

Firebird
by Firebird
Wed Feb 18, 2015 11:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Four Memories
Replies: 12
Views: 1476

Re: Four Memories

Ros, thank you for commenting. I may well go with your suggestions for the lines in 'Dust'. Peter, thank you, also, for commenting. I accept your viewpoint, even though it seems to be based on the type of poem you wanted to read. You wouldn't judge a free form poem based on the criteria set out for ...
by Firebird
Wed Feb 18, 2015 12:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Four Memories
Replies: 12
Views: 1476

Re: Four Memories

Mac, many thanks for the very useful bits of advice. I agree that the first memory is a bit clichéd, so I have cut it. I have taken your advice about the second memory (it is now the first) and instead of 'different land' I have been specific and put 'Texan desert'. I also thought your suggestion ab...
by Firebird
Tue Feb 17, 2015 7:45 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Four Memories
Replies: 12
Views: 1476

Re: Four Memories

Bodkin, many thanks for commenting. I agree the transformation from the first memory to the second is a little tenuous. I think it needs to be made clearer. I will try to do so. Your interpretation of the third memory was close to what I had in mind, but a hot sun must be hot enough to fix a gourds ...
by Firebird
Tue Feb 17, 2015 8:25 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Four Memories
Replies: 12
Views: 1476

Re: Four Memories

K-j, first off, many thanks for commenting. I am in York where the weather is icy cold this morning. Beaching in Mexico sounds wonderful. I suppose the first one was meant to be about desperately trying to preserve a memory of a loved one who has passed away. Maybe it doesn't work - it is a bit clip...
by Firebird
Mon Feb 16, 2015 8:00 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I See White Birds Walk on Ice
Replies: 11
Views: 1087

Re: I See White Birds Walk on Ice

Steamboat, this engaged me all the way through. I agree with a previous comment that 'tall pines/ that pierce the sky' is verging on cliche. Also, I'm not sure if 'glazed fields' really works' in line 10. Lines 11 and 12 rhymed, which I found distracting - this may just be me though. I loved lines 2...
by Firebird
Mon Feb 16, 2015 6:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Four Memories
Replies: 12
Views: 1476

Four Memories

Second Revision Afterlife I. Love She becomes a highland castle reconstructed in a Texan desert. II. Degrees He worries how his memory will treat her, believing that a dried out gourd is no better than a rotting one. III. Dust A building, too close to use a wrecking ball, is being deconstructed bit ...