Search found 1920 matches

by Firebird
Mon May 18, 2015 9:42 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Shadowtrain
Replies: 14
Views: 1926

Shadowtrain

I have just had 'Images in a dark room' and 'Water' accepted for publication by Shadowtrain . They will be posted on the Shadowtrain website (http://www.shadowtrain.com) in early Autumn. Both these poems were workshopped here. So many thanks to all those who helped. Does anyone know how I get them t...
by Firebird
Mon May 18, 2015 9:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Sepia May
Replies: 7
Views: 1110

Re: A Sepia May

Hi Brokenbridge, I love the following couplet: 'where I once lay upon a sun-softened shed roof pressing my fingers into the putty-like tar' Not sure you need 'shed' though. It seems to interrupt the flow of the line for me. I agree with Ros about 'light years' and 'beyond the horizon'. All my best, ...
by Firebird
Mon May 18, 2015 9:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Hummage (Revision No.1) with Coleridge original
Replies: 16
Views: 1755

Re: Hummage (Revision No.1) with Coleridge original

I've got to be honest, I had no idea your poem was using kubla khan as a template the first time I read it. But reading it now after having read kubla khan, it is a fantastic feat you have pulled off. I couldn't even imagine trying such an endevour myself. My hat goes off to you. Thanks for a great ...
by Firebird
Mon May 18, 2015 12:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Wound Up Crow
Replies: 9
Views: 1351

A Wound Up Crow

I know the metre is all over the show and the second rhyme doesn't really work, but hope at least the images work.

A Wound Up Crow

I can't make my mind up
if the walk of a crow
looks more like a wind up
or Robert De Niro's.
by Firebird
Wed May 13, 2015 12:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Listening
Replies: 6
Views: 972

Re: Listening

Thanks Ros. Glad you enjoyed it.

All my best,

Firebird
by Firebird
Tue May 12, 2015 10:01 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: First Sunday Visit For Ages
Replies: 13
Views: 1273

Re: First Sunday Visit For Ages

I love the crisp packet (perfect description in my opinion) and the final image, but not sure I understand the single line in the middle of the poem. Probably me being stupid, but it really did trip me up. Think I'll come back to it later.

All my best,

Firebird
by Firebird
Tue May 12, 2015 9:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Listening
Replies: 6
Views: 972

Re: Listening

Glad you both like it.

Nar, I understand why you suggest inserting 'only' at that point, but think it would push the reader a little much in one direction. It's a very nice suggestion though.

Many thanks for reading and commenting.

All my best,

Firebird
by Firebird
Tue May 12, 2015 9:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: It’s Complicated
Replies: 8
Views: 1369

Re: It’s Complicated

In s1' the pun using 'bi' baffled me a bit. Though, bi-polar bear worked better for me. In s2 I am still trying to cube your square of Bonnie and Clyde and Jekyll and Hyde. Interesting though. I like the way it sounds, too. S3 works well for me. And I love the oxymoron in s4 which I also think works...
by Firebird
Mon May 11, 2015 9:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Listening
Replies: 6
Views: 972

Listening

In the long grass,
is it one
or two crickets
I hear?
by Firebird
Sun May 10, 2015 4:49 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Favourite lines of poetry
Replies: 13
Views: 3986

Re: Favourite lines of poetry

They shut the road through the woods Seventy years ago. Weather and rain have undone it again, And now you would never know There was once a road through the woods Before they planted the trees. It is underneath the coppice and heath And the thin anemones. Only the keeper sees That, where the ring-d...
by Firebird
Thu May 07, 2015 8:59 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Congrats to David/Snakeskin!
Replies: 10
Views: 2563

Re: Congrats to David/Snakeskin!

Unmasked indeed. Pleased you like my ditty.

All my best,

Tristan
by Firebird
Wed May 06, 2015 5:12 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: London to Sheffield
Replies: 15
Views: 1623

Re: London to Sheffield

I agree K-j. I've re-read it, and it all makes perfect sence now. It's a really nice poem. I especially like 'People on the train look at me strangely'. I'm hoping on a train that's leaving Sheffield right now and have just walked past the winter gardens. Thanks David for a good read. All my best, F...
by Firebird
Wed May 06, 2015 6:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: London to Sheffield
Replies: 15
Views: 1623

Re: London to Sheffield

David, I now understand that you probably have to be familiar with the novel 'Lonesome Dove' to fully understand this poem, so as I'm not I don't now feel I can offer any worthy feedback.

Sorry,

Firebird
by Firebird
Tue May 05, 2015 10:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: London to Sheffield
Replies: 15
Views: 1623

Re: London to Sheffield

David, I'm going to read this again tomorrow, as at the moment I'm struggling to get my head round what it's about. It's probably just me though - it's late. I understand it's journey, but is there another story/poem I need to have read to understand this poem?

All my best,

Firebird
by Firebird
Tue May 05, 2015 10:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bluebird and Bells (edit S1)
Replies: 23
Views: 2662

Re: Bluebird and Bells

This reads really well to me, and I also again like the sentiment.

Thanks for a really enjoyable poem JJ.

All my best,

Firebird
by Firebird
Tue May 05, 2015 1:45 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Happiness
Replies: 10
Views: 1296

Re: Happiness

I've been there, and you've captured it perfectly. A lovely little poem.

All my best,

Firebird
by Firebird
Mon May 04, 2015 8:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: My Mother's Love - (A Mother's Love Revised)
Replies: 15
Views: 1449

Re: My Mother's Love - (A Mother's Love Revised)

This reads really well, and I also like the sentiments that come through. I only have one tiny nit: in the final line of s3 shouldn't the comma come before the conjunction 'so'. I understand why you have put it after though, as there does seem to be a pause in the speech there that offers the meanin...
by Firebird
Mon May 04, 2015 6:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Moment - Revision
Replies: 10
Views: 1292

Re: Moment - Revision

This definitely has potential. And I think that mac's cut down first stanza is the way to go. I might even go a bit further and cut 'is' in the third line, too.

All my best,

Firebird
by Firebird
Mon May 04, 2015 12:24 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Congrats to David/Snakeskin!
Replies: 10
Views: 2563

Re: Congrats to David/Snakeskin!

Many congratulations too David. I really liked your poem. I also liked the mouse poem. The closing image is fantastic. I too had a little poem entitled 'A Detached Heart' in this edition.

All my best,

Firebird
by Firebird
Sun Apr 26, 2015 9:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Regarding Ivy (line break edit S3)
Replies: 24
Views: 1951

Re: Regarding Ivy (line break edit S3)

I too like this poem, a lot.

Even though your poem a very different, I can't help but think of Heaney's 'The blackbird of glanmore'.

Best wishes,

Firebird
by Firebird
Sun Apr 26, 2015 9:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Dead Tired
Replies: 6
Views: 1064

Re: Dead Tired

I liked this. The tiredness didn't relate to being a parent, did it? It's certainly the most exhausted I've ever been.

Thanks for a good read.

Best wishes,

Firebird
by Firebird
Sun Apr 26, 2015 8:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Heart Tells All (revision2)
Replies: 15
Views: 1586

Re: A Heart Tells All (revised)

I enjoyed this poem, and loved the simile of uncooked chips - excellent.

Thanks for a good read.

Best wishes,

Firebird
by Firebird
Sun Apr 26, 2015 8:27 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Battle of the Bulge.
Replies: 13
Views: 1811

Re: Battle of the Bulge.

This was an entertaining read. I'm not great on meter, but it reads well for me.

Thanks for the humour.

Best wishes,

Firebird
by Firebird
Sun Apr 26, 2015 8:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Edge Of Your Iris.
Replies: 10
Views: 1124

Re: The Edge Of Your Iris.

I too like stanza one, but don't think stanza two has the same directness or clarity. The idea is definitely worth pursuing though.

Best wishes,

Firebird
by Firebird
Wed Apr 08, 2015 3:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Utopia
Replies: 6
Views: 877

Utopia

(Not posting this as a serious poem- more just an idea. St Augustine writes a very similar sentence: "God is an infinite sphere whose centre is everywhere and circumference nowhere". I've sort of adapted it.) Utopia is an infinite sphere: its centre in each individual, its circumference nowhere.