Search found 339 matches

by calico
Sat Oct 15, 2011 8:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Provisional
Replies: 32
Views: 2248

Re: Provisional

btw this whole pc, can't write this or that crap does my head in. Why is it Ok for prime time TV to tackle subjects like this and portray unlikeable characters, but when it comes to current publishing trends everything's automatically rejected, except by left-field publications, unless it's all nic...
by calico
Sat Oct 15, 2011 8:04 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Transitions
Replies: 10
Views: 698

Re: The Silica Years- Edit

Sorry to butt in. For me it's both the image and the abruptness. Hard to know, but even this: while I'm being buried daily under these concrete sacks improves it for me, as ending on the word 'concrete' just has this neutralising effect - I know you probably wanted to establish that lightness and th...
by calico
Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:53 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Still Chartreuse
Replies: 31
Views: 1685

Re: Still Chartreuse

What's the unleashed passion?! Suzanne - wonderful. Very glamorous title, actually I find the whole poem sort of glamorous - must be the vivid colours, and the confidence. The evocation of the leaves as paper stamps will stay with me whenever I look at the birch leaves I'll think of it...where is th...
by calico
Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The new reality
Replies: 12
Views: 786

Re: The new reality

Me too. Voting for one good poem, that is.
by calico
Sat Oct 15, 2011 7:31 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Orbis
Replies: 33
Views: 5237

Re: Orbis

Well done, Ros, Mic, Brian, Delph? I can't keep up! It's fantastic and great for this, umm, community.
by calico
Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:48 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Brian and delph in The Journal
Replies: 19
Views: 3031

Re: Brian and delph in The Journal

Ros wrote: Are the reviews fun to read, then?
No! Bonkers! Very peculiar.
by calico
Thu Oct 13, 2011 11:45 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Staying Alive: Real poems for unreal times
Replies: 6
Views: 963

Re: Staying Alive: Real poems for unreal times

Sorry, I missed this topic, and also, I can't contribute because I got Staying Alive from the library and managed to lose it - God knows - and had to pay £22. That's what Staying Alive did to me. I don't know. I've only just remembered the whole damage. I got it from the library like an addict, real...
by calico
Thu Oct 13, 2011 8:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Present Perfect
Replies: 12
Views: 858

Re: Present Perfect

Nice example about Selima Hill and the associations, Ben, thanks. Brian and Mrs Brian, glad you liked the balloons! To be honest that line, picked out as pleasing, happened as I was looking the other way, intent on some conceptual pursuit which now eludes me. Geoff, yes, no. And John, yes. I just en...
by calico
Wed Oct 12, 2011 7:25 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The new reality
Replies: 12
Views: 786

Re: The new reality

Yes, fantastic! I actually think you can't lose 'volunteer'. It refers more to what used to be, to a prior status quo. Which is important. I hope that makes sense. I'm not sure about 'peeled wallpaper is the new art'. I can't work out if it's uplifting at the end or if once a fortnight isn't enough....
by calico
Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sign up here for a Duet!
Replies: 66
Views: 5548

Re: Sign up here for a Duet!

Lost! A word? What for, a title/theme?
by calico
Tue Oct 11, 2011 3:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Present Perfect
Replies: 12
Views: 858

Re: Present Perfect

Aiee, yes, a muddle this is. I thought the present perfect could be a sort of invisible tense. I've just got a little edit to make but will probably end up changing the title, and everything else...
by calico
Tue Oct 11, 2011 8:44 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Present Perfect
Replies: 12
Views: 858

Present Perfect

You pre-cut the cake into 28 - you'd look good live , like a croupier. You place transparent tape in X's, smooth traces out of paper, tie your breath up with balloons, maybe a dozen to fill the room. But the room grows, like velvet frogs - though it's the room and not the breath that grew - I said f...
by calico
Tue Oct 11, 2011 8:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Dress Rehearsal
Replies: 7
Views: 541

Re: Dress Rehearsal

Hello there A few thoughts here, for you to take or leave (as Clara Bow used to say....) I'm taking this part to illustrate where I think you need to be direct and pare down. Using my red pen. Toothpaste hangs limp over the holders rim, fruit bowl offers a n open hand of furry rot, two bruised apple...
by calico
Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Progress Report: Holocene, Subatlantic
Replies: 5
Views: 454

Re: Progress Report: Holocene, Subatlantic

I'm certainly not going to try and undo the whole thing No! By no means. It looks like John Lott and I commented on the form but not the poem. It does express its idea - I won't try to summarise the idea but I think I understand what it is - but it is an organic and mutable idea that seems to invit...
by calico
Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Marriage
Replies: 18
Views: 1264

Re: Marriage

Hello Ryan. But about the piece itself: Did the images/symbolism work for you without my explanation? Yes! To me it does, absolutely. But like Nicky, I'd say some tweaking of sonics - of the poetry if you see what I mean, not the imagery, will nail it. Think about the action you are suggesting, the ...
by calico
Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sign up here for a Duet!
Replies: 66
Views: 5548

Re: Sign up here for a Duet!

Sounds great to me!
by calico
Sat Oct 08, 2011 11:55 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Progress Report: Holocene, Subatlantic
Replies: 5
Views: 454

Re: Progress Report: Holocene, Subatlantic

Is this a pantoum? I'm not confident with that diagnosis. It definitely has some symptoms! All the repeated lines are fantastic and I would only suggest minor changes like I don't think you need 'now' in the snow line, because accent should be on 'domain', and I also would say 'the swish of a cold c...
by calico
Sat Oct 08, 2011 11:35 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Little Whale
Replies: 7
Views: 577

Re: Little Whale

Hello Vincent. I think your explanation for the butterflies in tummy makes sense - but in that case have you tried using consistently less artful language throughout that S1? I actually really enjoy language like: everyone is giddied, fluttering from their catastrophes like sparks from a burning car...
by calico
Fri Oct 07, 2011 9:06 am
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: See Who's Who On This Forum!
Replies: 129
Views: 104486

Re: See Who's Who On This Forum!

Me and RS Thomas, Hay-on-Wye, circa 1992!!! No hold on. 1991.
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by calico
Fri Oct 07, 2011 8:50 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sign up here for a Duet!
Replies: 66
Views: 5548

Re: Sign up here for a Duet!

But it won't / isn't.
by calico
Fri Oct 07, 2011 8:47 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Brittle Star
Replies: 6
Views: 1042

Re: Brittle Star

Hi Jane, thank you!
by calico
Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:43 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Yoked-edit 2
Replies: 18
Views: 977

Re: Yoked-edit

The re-write makes me less sure of this than I was, now the suggestions of fertility/pregnancy are stronger - 'morning-after' and focus on the eggs. The first line: 'Denial shaken, hope floats fragmented' doesn't make sense to me. S2 sounds better to me in the revision. Shouldn't the tense in shell ...
by calico
Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:35 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: High Beech
Replies: 16
Views: 1194

Re: High Beech

Thanks Owen and Nash. On reflection I'd be more likley to remove specific Clare reference, it's too well known and loved, and concentrate on the poem as fiction working or not.
Merci.
by calico
Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Confession
Replies: 7
Views: 534

Re: Confession

Nice write. I stumbled on ' far away', then got the feeling that it stayed in to rhyme with A - but there's no consistent rhyme scheme. Saying that, it is the sort of thing a child would say/think - that he's gone over the hills and far away. I must say I like it, just enough detail, good structure.
by calico
Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sign up here for a Duet!
Replies: 66
Views: 5548

Re: Sign up here for a Duet!

Interesting. Miles out of my comfort zone (on my own) so I'm in, as a floater please.