Search found 339 matches

by calico
Thu Apr 22, 2010 1:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Love's travels
Replies: 5
Views: 469

Re: Love's travels

Hi, you mentioned my punctuation and I found myself checking out everyone else's - yours is a masterclass in the art of it, very precise and thoughtful, and really adds to this poem. I love the tone of this as a 'love poem', a voice that is clever and unsentimental and aware. For me, the 'moral comp...
by calico
Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:37 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: This Home on the Lea River
Replies: 6
Views: 479

Re: This Home on the Lea River

Hi, ray, aru, gavin Thanks for reading and commenting. Happy that some of it works. S3 struggling with the materiality of being a witch (kind of)- wool, wax, floating, sinking..maybe doesn't work .. I don't dare touch it any more. Yes, boats, lots of time staring into candles - Gavin, I didn't even ...
by calico
Mon Apr 19, 2010 8:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: This Home on the Lea River
Replies: 6
Views: 479

This Home on the Lea River

When I fill buckets with brambles and stamp on trembling twigs till they snap I rotate logic and invent new ethics but nothing really solves this feeling this is the ditch full of leaves, the flat earth's edge. This mooring, an island, where potatoes cook in the keep and river birds are tender I pou...
by calico
Mon Apr 19, 2010 6:56 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: the fountain of youth
Replies: 8
Views: 581

Re: the fountain of youth

Hi, I love the way this is written and I enjoy the voice, it takes the reader all sorts of places. New world colonies, Elizabethan explorers, Jacobean tragedy.....Darwinism too. I think the strangest parts for me are “the sphinx stand silhouetted, mote by eyelashes,” mote...that's dust isn't it..? a...
by calico
Mon Apr 19, 2010 2:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: As I passed by an Elementary School
Replies: 4
Views: 354

Re: As I passed by an Elementary School

hi, The big wordiness of the piece gives it a character that would change with editing, but it can be edited without losing its personality, maybe firstly the punctuation, the dashes and semi-colons. I quite like the brackets it adds poignancy to the lines ending "I lost my all". I had to google "Da...
by calico
Fri Apr 16, 2010 1:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sharing a Shell (revised)
Replies: 6
Views: 461

Re: On "Sharing a Shell"

I'm glad you mentioned losing the first couple of lines, maybe it can work better without them. I have done a little bit of revision. Edited version below, if that is the form. It's just about being in bed with children and the sense of their otherness, and using worry dolls to deal with them missin...
by calico
Fri Apr 16, 2010 9:36 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sharing a Shell (revised)
Replies: 6
Views: 461

Re: On "Sharing a Shell"

Phew, thankyou both, I feel initiated. Brian, "sharing a shell" is a kids' book I was reading, so I was trying to make the title a response to it. It's a very annoying book actually and I had trouble extricating myself from its rhythm. Danté, yes, I think I overworked this poem to the point of meani...
by calico
Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sharing a Shell (revised)
Replies: 6
Views: 461

Sharing a Shell (revised)

A bedtime rhyme clings to me: a long-lashed crab an anemone with glued-on glitter, and some thing called a bristle worm languid, ambigously hairy hybrid arms and heads in the bed delicate tentacles self-sporing and a pulsing crustacean's fontanel softness Here come the worry dolls little stick arms ...
by calico
Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: life and death
Replies: 8
Views: 636

Re: life and death

arunansu wrote:
BTW, what can be "Ged's fence"? Smiles.
It's Ged's face isn't it? or is it fence? I thought a person, Ged, either way. Nicely evoking God but not.
by calico
Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Making Tea
Replies: 4
Views: 418

Re: Making Tea

Hi raincoat. From one newie to another: I like the idea of following the wisps of steam and the simple immediacy of this: " and behind the piano, sun beams have latched onto physical objects, boxes, papers, dust, so that a cut of yellow floats in space on space in my simple room. but would clouds dr...
by calico
Thu Apr 15, 2010 12:36 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: hello
Replies: 2
Views: 949

Re: hello

thankyou Ros. I always wrote stories and for some reason am now writing poetry but in a storytelling kind of way, which may not be poetry, which may be prose poetry - I'm sure people here will let me know.
by calico
Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:19 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: life and death
Replies: 8
Views: 636

Re: life and death

I love: Geds face, all the exclamation marks, I found each sentence a surprise actually, which is great, and found myself imagining a landscape which is quite rooted with 'Killahoey beach'. Actually it reminds me of something like a Breughel painting of small people ploughing fields, and it also rem...
by calico
Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:11 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Coughing birds
Replies: 7
Views: 485

Re: Coughing birds

Hello, I really like the content of this, the observation and immediacy, sense of looking intently at something that takes us almost somewhere else. Structurally... I didn't really get the isolated "As". It is visual I suppose and can be imagined as a smoke ring or a bird. I'm not sure. If you read ...
by calico
Wed Apr 14, 2010 8:23 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: hello
Replies: 2
Views: 949

hello

Hello, I'm Megan, Calico is a long-dead cat of my Mum's - there was Calico, Ugly, Friendly and Loudy. I have been looking at the "Beginners Poems", there is a really high standard going on here I think, very inspiring. Hope I can contribute. I want to talk about 'what is prose poetry' but that's for...