Search found 339 matches

by calico
Sun Oct 10, 2010 6:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Algarve 1997
Replies: 11
Views: 659

Re: The Algarve 1997

Well, I didn't want to suggest any kidnap though - had not thought of the McCann case. I called it that to place it in the alternative tourism of the late 90s, but maybe should change it. Clara I kind of want the trams to recall a European urban upbringing...far from the tents in the sand - Ray, I s...
by calico
Sat Oct 09, 2010 5:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Algarve 1997
Replies: 11
Views: 659

Re: The Algarve 1997

Not straightforward is it? Well in a way it is. It is very straight in that it looks like a poem. and it might not have done, it even rhymes quite consistently, not something I particularly intended. It could probably be improved by being less straighforward in those ways rather than more. Have you...
by calico
Sat Oct 09, 2010 5:44 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Painting by numbers
Replies: 30
Views: 2432

Re: Painting by numbers

Argh. Ok, have committed that to memory. He says Gort is actually spelled Ghorteigne. Prince Ghorteigne.
by calico
Sat Oct 09, 2010 5:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Climbing The Table
Replies: 17
Views: 950

Re: Climbing The Table

The gathering of evidence. A title there? Not for this one maybe as I like Climbing the Table, but for something.
by calico
Fri Oct 08, 2010 12:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Painting by numbers
Replies: 30
Views: 2432

Re: Painting by numbers

We come in peace! Oh that's ok. I thought he wanted to rip my face off.
by calico
Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Algarve 1997
Replies: 11
Views: 659

The Algarve 1997

The sun was already bright when I woke in one of the work-tents; sometimes, after a dream, I still look for my watch, its gold dials clicking under glass, brittle as memories of rain on a roof or rattling trams, then I can’t move until I remember or he finds me and shakes me until I remember that I ...
by calico
Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:26 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Painting by numbers
Replies: 30
Views: 2432

Re: Painting by numbers

I agree with the others, it's lovely. Not a word more than necessary, very good.
Your avatar on the hand is so...nasty. I don't like the way he looms like that. Sometimes he puts me off reading your work I have to put my hand over that part of the screen. So sensitive you see.
by calico
Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:07 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A wish tree
Replies: 17
Views: 985

Re: A wish tree

Ah! You're a girl! I will be reading differently now. I was imagining this notoriously conservative Tbilisi male friend of mine. I also have a really good female Georgian friend in London who has absolutely no time for Georgian men. ahh. well.
by calico
Fri Oct 08, 2010 11:04 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Institution
Replies: 18
Views: 1047

Re: Institution

Ah, I re-scanned thread and see the change to last 3 lines. OK, yes I think that improves. Happy birthday for yesteryear.
by calico
Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:50 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A wish tree
Replies: 17
Views: 985

Re: A wish tree

This is making me chuckle as I am very good friends with a Georgian man and he is so absolutely like this. I even thought you might be him but then realised he would have been very aggressive when criticised and you have been very graceful. Anyway - I just wanted to say that I like the way you are t...
by calico
Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:39 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Institution
Replies: 18
Views: 1047

Re: Institution

Hello James, I like this - it is quite compressed and the expectation switches through the read - from, potential Columbine massacre in the first lines (I always expect the worst) lightening into more innocent schoolboyishness. Someone may have said this already, but I felt graduate wasn't right as ...
by calico
Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Climbing The Table
Replies: 17
Views: 950

Re: Climbing The Table

Hello Ray, Are you the I? I always assume the first person in the poem is the poet, but recently went to a workshop about the potential of creating a character using the first person - I've made it sound crap but it was good - about personas I suppose, and this reminded me of that. They would say, w...
by calico
Fri Oct 08, 2010 10:24 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Featured poems: September 2010
Replies: 8
Views: 653

Re: Featured poems: September 2010

Well done everyone. Delph, congrats.
by calico
Sat Oct 02, 2010 9:13 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Public Footpath another version
Replies: 14
Views: 981

Re: Public Footpath another version

Sharra I agree completely. I'm so not a middle of the night writer!
by calico
Fri Oct 01, 2010 11:12 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Public Footpath another version
Replies: 14
Views: 981

Re: Public Footpath

Nicky, it's funny or actually not funny, you've picked up on certain continuity problems, I think they are, caused by having different version of this, so in one version it was raining - therefore the apple was slick as in wet and in an earlier version different things were in pockets of the apron, ...
by calico
Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Public Footpath another version
Replies: 14
Views: 981

Re: Public Footpath

Nash, thanks, I'm glad. Are some things unworkshoppable do you think, if they are in a sort of subjective space where they can't be improved on, they either work or fail depending on some kind of - very unpredictable - chemistry with the reader? Actually maybe it is workshoppable, Mic I get your poi...
by calico
Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Somewhere
Replies: 25
Views: 1999

Re: Somewhere

You have held out on that line, and it is improved by the exclamation mark, somehow. Drawing attention to its own awkwardness. And I think the ending is an improvement. What constructive crits, eh, revisions and all in a day's work..good going.
by calico
Thu Sep 30, 2010 12:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Public Footpath another version
Replies: 14
Views: 981

Public Footpath another version

version 2 The cows are trying to tell me something (Winifred, Violet, Millicent May) about Tess, the pitch of her song the tilt of her head the two aprons she wears over her dress full of lemon verbena and valerian weed. She found a stone to hang on the gate, to weight its swing for as long as she c...
by calico
Thu Sep 30, 2010 10:29 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Somewhere
Replies: 25
Views: 1999

Re: Somewhere

Hello, I really like the slightly idiosyncratic detachment in this - the capitilisation of Short-eared Owl and Yew, as if in an encyclopedia. I don't mind the seagull shit but dislike - literally -

and - how about ending on ringing out. ?

It works really well on the whole.
by calico
Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Art of Stoning
Replies: 49
Views: 2955

Re: The Art of Stoning

I haven't examined the comments to really understand who thinks what but I definitely agree with Ray about the last verse! The whole point of the last verse is that it takes the time to think about what it is like to be part of this community, part of this structure, for everybody. And I think this ...
by calico
Sat Sep 25, 2010 9:29 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Art of Stoning
Replies: 49
Views: 2955

Re: The Art of Stoning

hmm, for me it does offer new perspectives because it's not just about how horrific it is. I think, might be wrong, that it's about how a community allows itself to behave brutally. By not taking individual responsibility. And emuse is imagining the effect of this on the community, not just the vict...
by calico
Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:50 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: BCE (tiny revision)
Replies: 34
Views: 2194

Re: BCE

Having followed this thread, this jumped out at me in Ambit magazine's (long) list of things to avoid:

"...avoid' shards', 'abysses' and 'iridescence'." !!

I had no idea it was such a widely used poeticism. :shock:
by calico
Fri Sep 24, 2010 11:23 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Sacraments
Replies: 8
Views: 640

Re: Sacraments

All good Q's, Mr Bodkin, it's problematic for me really. I guess what I really want to come through more strongly is that the old man's secular blessing is as good as the Pope's and the only difference is the ritual. So the ritual peeling and slicing apples is not better or worse just different than...
by calico
Fri Sep 24, 2010 9:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Art of Stoning
Replies: 49
Views: 2955

Re: The Art of Stoning

Oh. Upsetting. Very brave of you to look at this so closely, and imagine each impact of the stone, something we desperately want to shy away from. I think it really gets going in S2, the ending is fabulous, and the recording on cell phones fantastic detail. I think there are a couple of places where...
by calico
Fri Sep 24, 2010 9:23 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Ice cream
Replies: 14
Views: 920

Re: Ice cream

Great Sharra! Practically perfect in every way.