Search found 5376 matches

by Macavity
Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:56 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Breaking up in the north of England is never easy
Replies: 8
Views: 932

Re: Breaking up in the north of England is never easy

Sounds authentic to me and the title got me to read. Perhaps more bite with less lines.

Mac
by Macavity
Fri Aug 13, 2010 10:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Canoeing on the Cannon River
Replies: 17
Views: 1120

Re: Canoeing on the Cannon River

Pushing away low branches, spiderwebs, I see new leaves and bright flowers blushing out of a hollow tree trunk, flashing past as we paddle on. Perhaps you could name the flowers/tree. The verb placement/rhyme could be diluted since it is not a pattern repeated. The rest of the poem is more understa...
by Macavity
Fri May 04, 2007 11:09 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Beach
Replies: 5
Views: 780

Thanks guys. I have to confess the line you liked David was just ignorance on my part...or rather the creative subconscious at play :roll:

mac
by Macavity
Wed May 02, 2007 6:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: God to guinea pigs
Replies: 6
Views: 916

I enjoyed this leisurely read. I thought the tone conversational rather than a 'ramble,' points made with a quiet humour, and I liked the threading with religious analogies/diction. Perhaps the 'we' at the end made me think of priests rather than gods. 'A third cleans their hutch, although/it's real...
by Macavity
Wed May 02, 2007 6:26 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Beach
Replies: 5
Views: 780

Thanks Geoff. I've had similar comments elsewhere, but I wanted to test it out at graves. Appreciate your feedback.

mac
by Macavity
Tue May 01, 2007 6:00 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Jessie
Replies: 7
Views: 956

'She bustled up well' - I like how you've used 'bustled' and also because it reminds me of old fashioned, whereas the 'Patti Smith hair' made me think of rock music and youth. This led me to understand that Jessie is old before her time - 'She was old in a way that lent/age another age'. For me the ...
by Macavity
Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: to the top of Glendalough
Replies: 6
Views: 1227

Perhaps you could hobble to the pub for an ending more upbeat! I think most of the word choices translated the experience. Maybe the word 'walking' is a little ordinary and doesn't convey much.

can relate

mac
by Macavity
Mon Apr 30, 2007 8:17 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Beach
Replies: 5
Views: 780

The Beach

There's a boat tethered to the beach,
distant for the ebb and flow,
vermilion paint weathered away,
her owner has nowhere to go.
by Macavity
Mon Apr 30, 2007 8:15 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On marriage trees
Replies: 6
Views: 976

The mother to wife provide a continuity and now an alliance in 'planning' his life.

I like the coupling of wife/life and soul/hole.

At least it means less digging.

mac
by Macavity
Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Solar System
Replies: 16
Views: 2191

Ambitious, great idea, one to chip away at over the years. Mercury is my fav. so far because of the human aspect, though I did enjoy Uranus (maybe the cold doesn't add much to ice and metal)

mac
by Macavity
Tue Apr 24, 2007 2:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Class Act
Replies: 2
Views: 705

Well he's certainly lost the 'power' of speech!

cheers Geoff


Mac
by Macavity
Tue Apr 24, 2007 7:03 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: acid flashback
Replies: 8
Views: 1589

I quite like the entertaining referencing myself...how about some Piper at the Gates of Dawn...go for it!

the coffee grounding caffiene fix was a nice touch too

mac
by Macavity
Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Traffic lights of tomorrow (mp3)
Replies: 18
Views: 3097

The title attracted me to read the poem.

I like the degree/see rhyme

'concrete frozen sea' - too many adjectives for me

cheers

mac
by Macavity
Tue Apr 24, 2007 6:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Class Act
Replies: 2
Views: 705

Class Act

.
by Macavity
Tue Oct 31, 2006 11:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Tonight
Replies: 8
Views: 1816

Worms always remind me of graves, how about slugs?

http://www.seaslugforum.net/showall.cfm?base=colour
by Macavity
Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:27 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Tonight
Replies: 8
Views: 1816

Best to read it in the dark
:idea:

Thanks barrie

mac :D
by Macavity
Sun Oct 29, 2006 10:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Red Lion Inn, Dunchurch - November 5th 1605.
Replies: 19
Views: 4387

I like all of it, but since folk are highlighting the way down the poem:
urging moths
to sacrifice their wings
in candleflame
like the menace of temptation in 'urging'

mac
by Macavity
Sun Oct 29, 2006 1:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Meg lambs
Replies: 9
Views: 1222

The 'meg lambs' were an education. I guess the 'Terror' sparked off 'Robespierre' and there's a 'guillotine'/abattoir thread too. Personally I would have preferred it grounded in the farmyard, but tastes differ, and there is certainly an audience for 'tangents' on this forum. Either way much enjoyed...
by Macavity
Sun Oct 29, 2006 1:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Tonight
Replies: 8
Views: 1816

Thanks guys. I, of course, treat spiders with the respect they deserve.

mac
by Macavity
Sun Oct 29, 2006 9:22 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Profound Poem For The Weekend
Replies: 9
Views: 2049

Is this an example of martian poetry?

mac
by Macavity
Fri Oct 27, 2006 6:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Tonight
Replies: 8
Views: 1816

Tonight

..
by Macavity
Fri Oct 27, 2006 5:55 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Cigarette?
Replies: 10
Views: 2112

tallhat wrote:My teeth hurt to read it. It's dark and cynical and leaves me feeling hopeless and sick.

Well done.

:lol:

Does have a horror feel to it, made me picture Alien!
Where we drip drip drip
Messy, like it.

mac
by Macavity
Fri Oct 27, 2006 12:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Samite Smoke Snakes
Replies: 12
Views: 2249

I honestly don't know exactly what this poem is about, perhapse a cigarette, or a burning building, or a fire-breathing worm, I like the burning of Mother Nature! I suppose it's simply about watching smoke. Or pyromania. Not a criticism of your poem J. or your approach, but your comment just made m...
by Macavity
Thu Oct 26, 2006 11:11 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Call of Nature
Replies: 7
Views: 1556

lust and boredom is intriguing
cheers J. It is the romantic in me!

mac
by Macavity
Thu Oct 26, 2006 11:10 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Call of Nature
Replies: 7
Views: 1556

In Spider schemes" though - makes me think of some kind of halloween party which I guess is not quite right.
A wee bit of predator on predator action :wink:

thanks TH

mac