Search found 1650 matches
- Wed Sep 10, 2014 1:52 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Homecoming
- Replies: 10
- Views: 1120
Homecoming
Tonight I will kiss you with my mouth my tongue will be fire, my arms serpents to restrain you my hand will kiss you with my mouth the taut star of your body its jewel-islands rising my nose will plough the secret earth of you petals will fall open at my breath; the hot gold of my heart will enter t...
- Thu Sep 04, 2014 8:47 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Silences
- Replies: 5
- Views: 708
Re: Silences
I also like this a lot - up until the last three lines.
Mic
Mic
- Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:08 pm
- Forum: Any Other Business
- Topic: A PG Gathering in London Feb 2015
- Replies: 87
- Views: 16046
Re: A PG Gathering in London Feb 2015
I'm in.
Mic
Mic
- Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:40 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: I'm not really listening
- Replies: 11
- Views: 1198
Re: I'm not really listening
I especially liked the ambiguity of the ending, Mic. Is the whole body waving because the person is warmly wishing them well, or because they are (given the roll call of misery) rather glad to see them go on this occasion, or bit o'both. Perhaps N does not really know. I think it nicely expresses a...
- Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:39 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: I'm not really listening
- Replies: 11
- Views: 1198
Re: On the bus home, I'm not really listening
The end doesn't work, though know exactly what you're doing and it is a good idea. The word 'and' at the start of the last stanza needs to go I think cos 'On the bus home, I'm not really listening......and when I get off...I wave' doesn't make sense. You could put 'so' instead of 'and', but I think...
- Tue Aug 19, 2014 12:36 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Song of the empty fisherman
- Replies: 6
- Views: 769
Re: Song of the empty fisherman
Hi Iain, My thoughts on this before looking at other critiques: It's a bit of a 'curate's egg' for me - some nice lines, a good atmosphere, interesting voice, but... it doesn't go anywhere (and I'm not sure that is a 'but'), and there is some awkwardness to the phrasing in places (e.g. 'here is samp...
- Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:18 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Grounded
- Replies: 10
- Views: 999
Re: Grounded
There are references in this I don't get ('brownings' 'corkscrew port') but I don't think it matters - I get the feeling of it, and it has atmosphere.
I stumble a little over 'ears shrill as birds' and '...in his head I see now'
And the last two lines seem too 'telly'.
Mic
I stumble a little over 'ears shrill as birds' and '...in his head I see now'
And the last two lines seem too 'telly'.
Mic
- Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:10 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: I'm not really listening
- Replies: 11
- Views: 1198
I'm not really listening
when she tells me she's tired after getting up at midnight to watch Andy Murray in the US Open, then golf somewhere else in the world – those white balls making strange trajectories through air and into holes; when she tells me about the garbled letter from her older brother, the medication for his ...
- Thu Jul 31, 2014 11:01 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Freedom
- Replies: 14
- Views: 1358
Re: Freedom
@ Suzanne - I was hoping that the bracketed bit would hint at the broader political issue....
- Thu Jul 31, 2014 10:57 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Freedom
- Replies: 14
- Views: 1358
Re: Freedom
Yep - agree.
Oppression?
Oppression?
- Thu Jul 31, 2014 10:23 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Freedom
- Replies: 14
- Views: 1358
Re: Freedom
The pride theme this year is 'freedom to live' - and reflects the lack of freedom gay people have in certain cultures and countries. So the the idea of freedom being uncompromising (taking no money, or gifts, not surrendering) is meant in that broader political context, as well is in the more day-to...
- Thu Jul 31, 2014 9:52 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Freedom
- Replies: 14
- Views: 1358
Re: Freedom
Thanks Suzanne.
With that last stanza I'm perhaps being a bit too tricksy-clever - I'm imagining the shape two bodies make as a kind of cage. Perhaps 'cage' would be a better word to use here.
Mic
With that last stanza I'm perhaps being a bit too tricksy-clever - I'm imagining the shape two bodies make as a kind of cage. Perhaps 'cage' would be a better word to use here.
Mic
- Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:37 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Freedom
- Replies: 14
- Views: 1358
Re: Freedom
Thanks Peter.
I had thought similarly to you about the ending, but felt it didn't really quite stand on its own, and also hope that the lead up does add something!
I realise this morning that I have a problem with the 'surrender for' construction. The grammar is wrong, isn't it?
Cheers,
Mic
I had thought similarly to you about the ending, but felt it didn't really quite stand on its own, and also hope that the lead up does add something!
I realise this morning that I have a problem with the 'surrender for' construction. The grammar is wrong, isn't it?
Cheers,
Mic
- Wed Jul 30, 2014 6:16 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Freedom
- Replies: 14
- Views: 1358
Freedom
will not sit down to breakfast with them, it would rather eat earwigs, than tyranny's feast; see how it grows our love skywards, takes no money or gifts, surrenders nothing, though it will surrender to the lavender dust on your lips to the distance that knows what close is to the light our parents c...
- Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:36 pm
- Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
- Topic: Centrifugal Eye1
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1133
Re: Centrifugal Eye1
congrats!
Mic
Mic
- Mon Apr 14, 2014 1:53 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: These atoms
- Replies: 10
- Views: 766
Re: These atoms
I agree with you both!
Mic
Mic
- Sat Apr 12, 2014 3:53 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: These atoms
- Replies: 10
- Views: 766
These atoms
If I were to put all my atoms into a machine that could make a perfect copy of every single one of my atoms, would it be a perfect copy of the original me, you ask. I say, the original would have the quality of the original; the copy would be the copy. My answer is too pat, you say, and, perhaps, mi...
- Mon Apr 07, 2014 8:04 am
- Forum: Post Visual Art
- Topic: Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro
- Replies: 5
- Views: 2158
Re: Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro
Thanks Nash and David. Very different for me. And glad you like it.
- Fri Apr 04, 2014 1:37 pm
- Forum: Post Visual Art
- Topic: Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro
- Replies: 5
- Views: 2158
Re: Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro
Thanks Pauline - interesting feedback. I suppose this isn't an especially 'representational' drawing (it's called 'mythology') - I think of the other hands emerging out of the darkness as belonging to someone, something (?!) else. I do, like you, feel it is a bit top-heavy. I like the top bit best. ...
- Thu Apr 03, 2014 5:54 pm
- Forum: Any Other Business
- Topic: Y'all
- Replies: 12
- Views: 2449
Re: Y'all
A distinction!
Mic
Mic
- Thu Apr 03, 2014 1:17 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Time
- Replies: 9
- Views: 776
Re: Time
Thanks for coming back Luke.
I'm now inclined to agree with you about that first line, and will re-consider it.
I'm now inclined to agree with you about that first line, and will re-consider it.
- Thu Apr 03, 2014 11:12 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Time
- Replies: 9
- Views: 776
Re: Time
Thanks Luke. Interesting points. I'm trying to somehow say that time is nothing more than, well, a trick of the light (and the line is hackneyed, although I'm not sure that the comparison is) - i.e. that somehow there is somewhere beyond it, through it (where the snowy field, tree and swing are?). T...
- Thu Apr 03, 2014 8:22 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Time
- Replies: 9
- Views: 776
Time
is a trick of the light;
a word scrawled
on a window pane
in receipt of warm breath—
beyond it: a snowy field
an oak tree, a swing.
* 'and' cut from before swing, as suggested by Seth over at 52
a word scrawled
on a window pane
in receipt of warm breath—
beyond it: a snowy field
an oak tree, a swing.
* 'and' cut from before swing, as suggested by Seth over at 52
- Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:26 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Tears of the Sun
- Replies: 5
- Views: 694
Re: Tears of the Sun
Hi Zimbowman, Going against the current, I'm afraid this really isn't doing anything for me: too abstract, clunky meter and line structure, trying too hard to sound poetic. I can't picture any of these 'images' - 'sowing farms of a different green', 'reaping sin from withered roots' , 'hanging thoug...
- Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:21 pm
- Forum: Post Visual Art
- Topic: Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro
- Replies: 5
- Views: 2158
Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro
A new drawing (with close up).