Search found 1650 matches

by Mic
Wed Sep 10, 2014 1:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Homecoming
Replies: 10
Views: 985

Homecoming

Tonight I will kiss you with my mouth my tongue will be fire, my arms serpents to restrain you my hand will kiss you with my mouth the taut star of your body its jewel-islands rising my nose will plough the secret earth of you petals will fall open at my breath; the hot gold of my heart will enter t...
by Mic
Thu Sep 04, 2014 8:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Silences
Replies: 5
Views: 672

Re: Silences

I also like this a lot - up until the last three lines.

Mic
by Mic
Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:08 pm
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: A PG Gathering in London Feb 2015
Replies: 87
Views: 15214

Re: A PG Gathering in London Feb 2015

I'm in.

Mic
by Mic
Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I'm not really listening
Replies: 11
Views: 1078

Re: I'm not really listening

I especially liked the ambiguity of the ending, Mic. Is the whole body waving because the person is warmly wishing them well, or because they are (given the roll call of misery) rather glad to see them go on this occasion, or bit o'both. Perhaps N does not really know. I think it nicely expresses a...
by Mic
Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I'm not really listening
Replies: 11
Views: 1078

Re: On the bus home, I'm not really listening

The end doesn't work, though know exactly what you're doing and it is a good idea. The word 'and' at the start of the last stanza needs to go I think cos 'On the bus home, I'm not really listening......and when I get off...I wave' doesn't make sense. You could put 'so' instead of 'and', but I think...
by Mic
Tue Aug 19, 2014 12:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Song of the empty fisherman
Replies: 6
Views: 701

Re: Song of the empty fisherman

Hi Iain, My thoughts on this before looking at other critiques: It's a bit of a 'curate's egg' for me - some nice lines, a good atmosphere, interesting voice, but... it doesn't go anywhere (and I'm not sure that is a 'but'), and there is some awkwardness to the phrasing in places (e.g. 'here is samp...
by Mic
Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Grounded
Replies: 10
Views: 932

Re: Grounded

There are references in this I don't get ('brownings' 'corkscrew port') but I don't think it matters - I get the feeling of it, and it has atmosphere.

I stumble a little over 'ears shrill as birds' and '...in his head I see now'

And the last two lines seem too 'telly'.

Mic
by Mic
Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:10 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I'm not really listening
Replies: 11
Views: 1078

I'm not really listening

when she tells me she's tired after getting up at midnight to watch Andy Murray in the US Open, then golf somewhere else in the world – those white balls making strange trajectories through air and into holes; when she tells me about the garbled letter from her older brother, the medication for his ...
by Mic
Thu Jul 31, 2014 11:01 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Freedom
Replies: 14
Views: 1261

Re: Freedom

@ Suzanne - I was hoping that the bracketed bit would hint at the broader political issue....
by Mic
Thu Jul 31, 2014 10:57 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Freedom
Replies: 14
Views: 1261

Re: Freedom

Yep - agree.

Oppression?
by Mic
Thu Jul 31, 2014 10:23 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Freedom
Replies: 14
Views: 1261

Re: Freedom

The pride theme this year is 'freedom to live' - and reflects the lack of freedom gay people have in certain cultures and countries. So the the idea of freedom being uncompromising (taking no money, or gifts, not surrendering) is meant in that broader political context, as well is in the more day-to...
by Mic
Thu Jul 31, 2014 9:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Freedom
Replies: 14
Views: 1261

Re: Freedom

Thanks Suzanne.

With that last stanza I'm perhaps being a bit too tricksy-clever - I'm imagining the shape two bodies make as a kind of cage. Perhaps 'cage' would be a better word to use here.

Mic
by Mic
Thu Jul 31, 2014 8:37 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Freedom
Replies: 14
Views: 1261

Re: Freedom

Thanks Peter.

I had thought similarly to you about the ending, but felt it didn't really quite stand on its own, and also hope that the lead up does add something!

I realise this morning that I have a problem with the 'surrender for' construction. The grammar is wrong, isn't it?

Cheers,

Mic
by Mic
Wed Jul 30, 2014 6:16 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Freedom
Replies: 14
Views: 1261

Freedom

will not sit down to breakfast with them, it would rather eat earwigs, than tyranny's feast; see how it grows our love skywards, takes no money or gifts, surrenders nothing, though it will surrender to the lavender dust on your lips to the distance that knows what close is to the light our parents c...
by Mic
Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:36 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Centrifugal Eye1
Replies: 9
Views: 1080

Re: Centrifugal Eye1

congrats!

Mic
by Mic
Mon Apr 14, 2014 1:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: These atoms
Replies: 10
Views: 707

Re: These atoms

I agree with you both!

Mic
by Mic
Sat Apr 12, 2014 3:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: These atoms
Replies: 10
Views: 707

These atoms

If I were to put all my atoms into a machine that could make a perfect copy of every single one of my atoms, would it be a perfect copy of the original me, you ask. I say, the original would have the quality of the original; the copy would be the copy. My answer is too pat, you say, and, perhaps, mi...
by Mic
Mon Apr 07, 2014 8:04 am
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro
Replies: 5
Views: 2109

Re: Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro

Thanks Nash and David. Very different for me. And glad you like it.
by Mic
Fri Apr 04, 2014 1:37 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro
Replies: 5
Views: 2109

Re: Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro

Thanks Pauline - interesting feedback. I suppose this isn't an especially 'representational' drawing (it's called 'mythology') - I think of the other hands emerging out of the darkness as belonging to someone, something (?!) else. I do, like you, feel it is a bit top-heavy. I like the top bit best. ...
by Mic
Thu Apr 03, 2014 5:54 pm
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: Y'all
Replies: 12
Views: 2298

Re: Y'all

A distinction!

Mic
by Mic
Thu Apr 03, 2014 1:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Time
Replies: 9
Views: 729

Re: Time

Thanks for coming back Luke.
I'm now inclined to agree with you about that first line, and will re-consider it.
by Mic
Thu Apr 03, 2014 11:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Time
Replies: 9
Views: 729

Re: Time

Thanks Luke. Interesting points. I'm trying to somehow say that time is nothing more than, well, a trick of the light (and the line is hackneyed, although I'm not sure that the comparison is) - i.e. that somehow there is somewhere beyond it, through it (where the snowy field, tree and swing are?). T...
by Mic
Thu Apr 03, 2014 8:22 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Time
Replies: 9
Views: 729

Time

is a trick of the light;
a word scrawled
on a window pane
in receipt of warm breath—
beyond it: a snowy field
an oak tree, a swing.



* 'and' cut from before swing, as suggested by Seth over at 52
by Mic
Thu Mar 27, 2014 8:26 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Tears of the Sun
Replies: 5
Views: 643

Re: Tears of the Sun

Hi Zimbowman, Going against the current, I'm afraid this really isn't doing anything for me: too abstract, clunky meter and line structure, trying too hard to sound poetic. I can't picture any of these 'images' - 'sowing farms of a different green', 'reaping sin from withered roots' , 'hanging thoug...
by Mic
Tue Mar 25, 2014 5:21 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro
Replies: 5
Views: 2109

Crayon, compressed charcoal, empty Barclays biro

Mythology.jpg
Mythology.jpg (69.44 KiB) Viewed 2109 times
Mythology full drawing.jpg
Mythology full drawing.jpg (45.46 KiB) Viewed 2109 times
A new drawing (with close up).