Search found 1650 matches

by Mic
Fri Oct 17, 2014 8:14 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: When I think of you
Replies: 12
Views: 1539

Re: When I think of you (which is often)

:D

Mic
by Mic
Thu Oct 16, 2014 4:04 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: North 53
Replies: 5
Views: 803

Re: North 53

Thanks both.

Mic
by Mic
Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: When I think of you
Replies: 12
Views: 1539

When I think of you

(which is often)
I think of
lavender
its tallness
how it waves
just like you say

how you
demonstrate
with your arms
above your head,
waving, like
lavender does

& I think of
how I seek out
the flower
with my
fingers
for its scent


4/10/2014
France
by Mic
Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On falling asleep after you
Replies: 16
Views: 1868

Re: On falling asleep after you

Mic, I so like your language here. It's so gentle and sincere—no frills. I'm guessing, too, but I'm thinking that the last two stanzas matter. I'm wondering if the "falling asleep" in your title doesn't mean dying, and just as the leaf piles moved when N's grandfather died, the floating feather doe...
by Mic
Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On falling asleep after you
Replies: 16
Views: 1868

Re: On falling asleep after you

I enjoyed the tone of this very much, Mic. Bit lost here... A tiny wooden feather, like gold or the colours of Autumn brushes past my lips, floats on the rise and fall of you breathing. A wooden feather brushes? Though I can see the appeal in the suggestion of others that the grandfather bit be put...
by Mic
Wed Oct 15, 2014 9:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On falling asleep after you
Replies: 16
Views: 1868

Re: On falling asleep after you

1lankest wrote:. . . . I'm afraid I still don't really get it. Oh dear.
I'm not sure there's anything really 'to get'...
by Mic
Wed Oct 15, 2014 8:01 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On falling asleep after you
Replies: 16
Views: 1868

Re: On falling asleep after you

Yeah, I agree with David. Really enjoyed the poem, but there is a substantial break between "breathing" and "the rushing sound". The death takes over the poem and almost makes moot all the stuff that came before. I sense that what you want is to link the two parts more subtly, more intertwinedly, s...
by Mic
Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On falling asleep after you
Replies: 16
Views: 1868

Re: On falling asleep after you

Very nice, really. I - being me, I suppose - would stop at "breathing". I like the detail that precedes that, and the mood it builds up. I don't think you need to try to connect it to your grandfather's death, which almost feels like piling on the transcendence. Trust in what you've done up to that...
by Mic
Wed Oct 15, 2014 6:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On falling asleep after you
Replies: 16
Views: 1868

Re: On falling asleep after you

Some lovely moments, mic, but not quite working as a whole yet, for me. I'm assuming the model angel represents the lover, and the long robe has been discarded pre bed time? If not, how and why dies this small model angel have such a long robe? The last four lines give a sense of passion and lust/l...
by Mic
Wed Oct 15, 2014 4:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Discovering the sonnet
Replies: 14
Views: 1422

Re: Discovering the sonnet

Ha! It's neat, sweet and funny. I recognised the Wyatt line. Really liked the world locking its doors and going up stairs!

Mic
by Mic
Wed Oct 15, 2014 4:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Cochin
Replies: 3
Views: 574

Re: Cochin

Hi Dedalus,

This didn't connect with me. (For my taste it is) too cliched, too tell-y, too much archaic-sounding language ('arise' , 'lay myself down' 'with wine taken'). I did, however, like the line 'The sun by day is king'.

Mic
by Mic
Wed Oct 15, 2014 2:57 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: North 53
Replies: 5
Views: 803

North 53

Just heard that I've had a couple accepted:

Ablutions & I'm not really listening.

Yay!

http://www.poetrybusiness.co.uk/north-menu

Mic
by Mic
Sun Oct 05, 2014 7:07 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On falling asleep after you
Replies: 16
Views: 1868

On falling asleep after you

There she is, on top of the dusty 'Collected Poems of Marianne Moore' I keep on the chest of drawers: my Venezuelan angel, with her long wooden face long neck and her upside-down wings and I know not to look, as her blue robe flows over books, the mahogany clock-radio, your watch, over a half-opened...
by Mic
Mon Sep 15, 2014 5:44 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The unusual properties of water
Replies: 8
Views: 867

Re: The unusual properties of water

Thanks David :-) Mostly whimsy I'm afraid - though there is some research recently published (building on something a nobel prize-winning scientist said in the 70s that got the scientific community then into a complete flap) by a(nother) noble prize-winning scientist about how certain substances wil...
by Mic
Mon Sep 15, 2014 5:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: St Anselm on Iona
Replies: 12
Views: 1663

Re: St Anselm on Iona

:lol: :lol:

... not that rubbish from Tiree

:lol:

Nice writing. Tight. Good comic timing - really funny.

Mic
by Mic
Mon Sep 15, 2014 1:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The unusual properties of water
Replies: 8
Views: 867

Re: Some properties of water

Thanks Elph.

I became aware of the clunkiness of the 'will' as I moved through the poem - got a bit stuck with it. And the form is perhaps producing some 'padding' to help with the ryhme etc

Mic
by Mic
Mon Sep 15, 2014 12:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The unusual properties of water
Replies: 8
Views: 867

The unusual properties of water

Though it has no shape of its own, water will remember the shape of this spoon, once I'm done rinsing it, and assumes at certain points, different states of matter, turns sea to ice from the top down, quarters mountain ranges, forces backyards into bloom; rushes on in search of equilibrium, rises fr...
by Mic
Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:05 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Homecoming
Replies: 10
Views: 985

Re: Homecoming

k-j -

I'm glad of your feedback - truthful and unflinching in its assessment. The line I find most interesting in this is 'my hand will kiss you with my mouth'. I did have reservations about 'taut'. I like the nine doors/homecoming idea. S'all good practice though, innit?

Mic
by Mic
Fri Sep 12, 2014 7:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Secret of Fire
Replies: 8
Views: 1209

Re: The Secret of Fire

Mixed feelings about this one.

Strong opening 2 lines.
Really like the light 'green as lichen'
Last four lines too 'telly'.
by Mic
Fri Sep 12, 2014 7:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Homecoming
Replies: 10
Views: 985

Re: Homecoming

ray miller wrote: 3rd verse reads like Alan Titchmarsh meets The Kama Sutra
:lol:
by Mic
Fri Sep 12, 2014 7:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Homecoming
Replies: 10
Views: 985

Re: Homecoming

Luke, thanks. 'with my mouth' - I do see that it is kinda obvious, and yet, somehow I feel it draws attention to the mouth, dunno. You aren't the only one to say, but that's obvious innit? Will keep thinking about that. hot gold etc .... yes, maybe, maybe too much .... more restraint? ;-) Ray, thank...
by Mic
Thu Sep 11, 2014 1:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Early Doors (revision)
Replies: 24
Views: 2368

Re: Early Doors

It's just lovely. The tone, the reflection, those hands on the table. Beautifully paced. I really like it. The opening two lines remind me of Mimi khalvati. quote="1lankest"]As long as there are shadows there is sun enough. The Cornish ale at my table sings its esters with the birds. A charm of finc...
by Mic
Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Homecoming
Replies: 10
Views: 985

Re: Homecoming

Certainly the second verse is great and I agree about the magnificence of 'my nose will plough the secret earth of you' which did not feel comical just so full of physical sexual expression to me. The first stanza is I suppose is so much weaker but a decent, lesser introduction to the magnificent f...
by Mic
Thu Sep 11, 2014 10:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Homecoming
Replies: 10
Views: 985

Re: Homecoming

Help ma boab! Open a windae! Like the last two lines but I feel the tongue on fire and the arms like serpents are a wee bit of a cliche. My nose could plough the secret earth of you is possibly one of my favourite lines of poetry this year, but in such a torrid poem it introduces an incongruously c...
by Mic
Wed Sep 10, 2014 1:55 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Parallel Texts
Replies: 12
Views: 1183

Re: Parallel Texts

Hi k-j

I like the tone of this, and the two neat (parallel?) verses; I like the first verse more than the second.

I most especially like the line 'Her vigourous, hasty signature" - it seems so revealing of her character.

Mic