Search found 1650 matches

by Mic
Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:50 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The children turn in their sleep (1984)
Replies: 7
Views: 905

Re: The children turn in their sleep, dream of flying (1984)

Hello elotrooso, A single blossom falls. I'd imagined lots of blossom falling - so chrery blossom in the plural sense. One blossom falling is also fine if that is what is pictured! I wonder why it finds no ground. Because in the dark the fall can't be followed visually all the way to the ground? The...
by Mic
Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:45 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The children turn in their sleep (1984)
Replies: 7
Views: 905

Re: The children turn in their sleep, dream of flying (1984)

Thanks Nash. My first thought was about what relevance the title had to the poem. I was going to suggest re-titling it but after several reads I think it would be a shame, it just adds to the ambiguity. And, I know we've discussed this before, but I'd want to read the poem if I saw that title on a c...
by Mic
Fri Feb 20, 2015 6:51 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The children turn in their sleep (1984)
Replies: 7
Views: 905

The children turn in their sleep (1984)

Cherry blossom falls
in the dark
but finds no ground there.

Look how the moon swells
in monochrome
over the garden’s long grass

where she's flung
her wedding ring,
saying this is the end now.

How he laughs
as she wades towards him,
her small frame shaking.
by Mic
Thu Feb 05, 2015 9:06 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Grey Squirrel (Rev.)
Replies: 22
Views: 2120

Re: Grey Squirrel

I liked it! Interesting language and nice scene and atmosphere.

Mic
by Mic
Fri Jan 30, 2015 5:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Gray's Allergy
Replies: 7
Views: 2367

Re: Gray's Allergy

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

liked it a lot.

especially the build to that last line.

Mic
by Mic
Wed Jan 28, 2015 7:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: In praise of one without second
Replies: 32
Views: 3352

Re: In praise of one without second

thanks Chris. That 'happening' was a stray word left after an earlier edit.
by Mic
Wed Jan 28, 2015 6:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: In praise of one without second
Replies: 32
Views: 3352

Re: In praise of one without second

The scientists are catching up! http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/jan/21/-sp-why-cant-worlds-greatest-minds-solve-mystery-consciousness "...Which is how Koch and Chalmers have both found themselves arguing, in the pages of the New York Review of Books, that an ordinary household thermostat or ...
by Mic
Sun Jan 25, 2015 12:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Idiomatic
Replies: 6
Views: 558

Re: Idiomatic

I think this is lovely Luke. I really like it - it's tightly handled but loose enough for the images to breath. I love 'how the field beyond / recieves it". I really do like all of it very much, right up to the "somehow to our bedroom wall". That ending was a let-down. I just feel you need something...
by Mic
Sun Jan 25, 2015 11:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Singing farmer,
Replies: 12
Views: 968

Re: Singing farmer,

ray miller wrote:I'd prefer Farmer singing as the title, b
Me too
by Mic
Sun Jan 25, 2015 11:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I like everything I like about you, like
Replies: 12
Views: 2465

Re: I like everything I like about you, like

This is nice, but list poems need to have quite a kick of surprise in them somewhere, and I'm not seeing that here I am afraid. Sorry Mic! Thanks Richard - and no apologies needed. Reminds me of another poem. And as with the other poem that I'm reminded of, you include a subtle kinda twisty ending:...
by Mic
Sun Jan 25, 2015 11:29 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Poetising The Middle Tide Zone
Replies: 13
Views: 1042

Re: Poetising The Middle Tide Zone

Hi Kris, Some strong imagery in here I think. I'd be inclinded to cut the first line (too edtitorialised?), the second line is a much stronger beginning, and I'd create a one-sentence poem out of the rest. (Don't like the 'poetising' part of the title - I feel like you are undermining the poem befor...
by Mic
Sun Jan 25, 2015 11:20 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Singing farmer,
Replies: 12
Views: 968

Re: Singing farmer,

Wasn't sure at first, but on subsequent reads, I find myself liking it overall. I didn't realize on first read that he was playing the guitar. I really like the idea of the music and his singing 'tilling us soft;y'. But not keen somehow on the repetition of the phrase at the end. Also not keen on th...
by Mic
Sun Jan 25, 2015 11:10 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Promised Lands -revised
Replies: 17
Views: 1364

Re: Promised Lands -revised

Hi Ray,

Funny and quirky. Strong opening first two lines set the humourous tone immediately which remains consistently funny all the way through. And you get away with the single-sound end rhymes in the first stanza!

Mic
by Mic
Sat Jan 24, 2015 5:12 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Shadow (formerly, Waxing) now waxing again
Replies: 23
Views: 1647

Re: Waxing

Ros - yep, the phrase seems to have been coined by Nell. I do like her blog - and her taste in poetry!
by Mic
Sat Jan 24, 2015 4:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Shadow (formerly, Waxing) now waxing again
Replies: 23
Views: 1647

Re: Waxing

Hi Richard, I'm struggling with this. Too many (?) 'leaning verbs', (a construction that I've been told I over use, and it might be for that reason that I'm finding them distracting). 'Painted' doesn't seem like the right word... or at least I can't picture the activity of it. There is a syntax issu...
by Mic
Fri Jan 23, 2015 1:05 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I like everything I like about you, like
Replies: 12
Views: 2465

Re: I like everything I like about you, like

Yaay!

Thanks everyone :-)
by Mic
Fri Jan 16, 2015 4:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Looking for Lala
Replies: 7
Views: 619

Re: Looking for Lala

Ah, and have just read Luke's response! Great minds ;-)

Mic
by Mic
Fri Jan 16, 2015 4:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Looking for Lala
Replies: 7
Views: 619

Re: Looking for Lala

I liked this instantly - from the intriguing opening line to the jaw-dropping finale, and everything in between. The tone is lovely, and lots of interesting accumulation of detail. The only line that felt out of kilter was the Nazi line.

Very good.

Michaela
by Mic
Fri Jan 16, 2015 3:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I like everything I like about you, like
Replies: 12
Views: 2465

I like everything I like about you, like

your feet that you like orangutans your hand in mine my feet in yours I like how you sing in your sleep your sideways looks your sideways jokes I like you sideways how your shoulders shake how often you laugh I like how you put on your socks I like how long you take to think things through how you f...
by Mic
Thu Oct 23, 2014 9:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On falling asleep after you
Replies: 16
Views: 1868

Re: On falling asleep after you

photo.JPG
photo.JPG (37.73 KiB) Viewed 1691 times
by Mic
Thu Oct 23, 2014 9:27 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: When I think of you
Replies: 12
Views: 1556

Re: When I think of you (which is often)

posted in wrong place!
by Mic
Thu Oct 23, 2014 9:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: When I think of you
Replies: 12
Views: 1556

Re: When I think of you (which is often)

Antcliff wrote:Good stuff, Mic. Upbeato. It is yonks since it has been awarded, but today.... hooray... I can award the My Fair Lady/Bloke Poetry Prize....
Yay!

Mic
by Mic
Thu Oct 23, 2014 9:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: When I think of you
Replies: 12
Views: 1556

Re: When I think of you (which is often)

1lankest wrote:This is lovely, mic.

I wouldn't change a thing, although I would change this: 'like lavender does',

to this,

'like lavender waves',

The repitition sounds nice to me, and 'does' is a particularly banal word.

Good stuff.
Thanks Luke. Will consider.

Mic
by Mic
Thu Oct 23, 2014 9:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: When I think of you
Replies: 12
Views: 1556

Re: When I think of you (which is often)

Hi Mic I really like the happiness this conveys. For me, the punctuation isn’t helping the flow. I don’t know why you would start a line with an ampersand and I don’t think you need one at the beginning of S2. As S1 is free of punctuation, I don’t understand why you have a semi-colon at the end of ...
by Mic
Tue Oct 21, 2014 7:09 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Michael Marks Shorlist
Replies: 25
Views: 4032

Re: Michael Marks Shorlist

Good news Richard.

Michaela