Search found 1650 matches

by Mic
Mon Jun 08, 2009 12:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: two ships
Replies: 7
Views: 563

two ships

two ships anchorless afternoon; a fierce sun thrusts its last, as another meek deadline waved, as it passed, at the two of us pissed, we just laughed we push self-pity around a bit, like peas while your napkin boats - quite unfit for high seas - launch themselves on the tropical breeze the afternoo...
by Mic
Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:09 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: My space
Replies: 5
Views: 703

Re: My space

Suzanne, Well, this certainly has a colourful spaceyness to it. Nothing is simple; but the more complicated it gets, the more beautiful it is. I struggled with some of this one, must confess - especially the physics (and comprehension) of the last part. you have a typo - diffusing. (I am probably be...
by Mic
Mon Jun 08, 2009 10:49 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Emerald
Replies: 3
Views: 1380

Re: Emerald

Dear Lovely, Let me first say that I have read a number of your postings and like what you do, very much. But I'm afraid I found this one inaccessible. The syntax and layout feels self-conscious and - dare I say it? - arbitrary (to me). For example, why the capitals in "Essence of Life', "Light and ...
by Mic
Mon Jun 08, 2009 9:27 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: these words of you
Replies: 10
Views: 658

Re: these words of you

Dog, Dalena, David & Aru,
It appeals to my sense of symmetry to see opinion so neatly divided.
Thanks!

Mic
by Mic
Sun Jun 07, 2009 4:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: these words of you
Replies: 10
Views: 658

Re: these words of you

Oh dear! Really? And there was me feeling rather pleased with myself for thinking I had hit on a different angle. Back to the drawing board.
by Mic
Sun Jun 07, 2009 2:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: these words of you
Replies: 10
Views: 658

these words of you

these words of you

I mustn’t miss a word of you

words of you
dropped from other lips—

pages of you
turned in another’s gaze—

I will catch every word of you

I will write these words of you
by Mic
Sun Jun 07, 2009 2:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Fools Gold
Replies: 14
Views: 1264

Re: Fools Gold

Mesmie, The meaning of this one was lost on me, I'm afraid. I didn't get it at all. I covert ( ? is this a typo - do you mean covet? ) a self-imposed blinkering. Why should I feel shame when surprise is no surprise at all? I shall shape myself anew, moulded into beauty with still blurred edges and t...
by Mic
Sun Jun 07, 2009 2:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Ghost Train (re-edited)
Replies: 4
Views: 352

Re: The Ghost Train (re-edited)

Peter,

Is this poem a metaphor for lives ruined by heroin addiction?

Best

Mic
by Mic
Sat Jun 06, 2009 4:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Colours
Replies: 3
Views: 310

Re: COLOURS

Dear Peter, There is some good rhythm in this piece, though it stumbles once or twice (e.g. l2 of your 4th stanza) - but this is easily corrected. I didn't really understand the line "A COLOUR PAINTER ON A PALLET KNIFE". You might perhaps have meant 'with' instead of 'on'. Quite liked your final lin...
by Mic
Sat Jun 06, 2009 4:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: cherries
Replies: 15
Views: 890

Re: cherries

'granite' ?

Mic
by Mic
Sat Jun 06, 2009 3:45 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: one in a million and one - revised
Replies: 6
Views: 457

Re: one in a million and one

Aru, Lovely - thanks for the comments. Brian, thanks. I've incorporated your suggestions.

Mic
by Mic
Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: one in a million and one - revised
Replies: 6
Views: 457

one in a million and one - revised

revised:- one in a million and one I wait a million beats for a single sound from beyond … I walk a million paces across the breadth of a single hair I climb a million strands of febrile DNA I watch a million corpuscles dressed in crimson cloaks a million atoms caught in pressed embrace a million pa...
by Mic
Thu Jun 04, 2009 2:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Colossus
Replies: 4
Views: 266

Re: Colossus

Dear Black, A good first stanza, especially liked the first two lines - they landed me in the poem immediately, I could picture the scene. First two lines of second stanza are weak, and 'immeasurable' jolts the rhythm off-course. I liked "Lapping waters hypnotise/ each minute turns to hour' and "Her...
by Mic
Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:44 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Complex heights
Replies: 14
Views: 879

Re: Complex heights

PS 2 - excuse me for being thick. What does IMHO stand for?
by Mic
Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Complex heights
Replies: 14
Views: 879

Re: Complex heights

Sharra, Ray, Usnanura, BinB - thanks for the considered commentary. I expect to accommodate most of these excellent suggestions in my revision. What a great forum, really. PS R-Cox: I abandoned the ice in oil experiment (and expect to abandon that line). I was v. tempted though, most keen to know wh...
by Mic
Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: cherries
Replies: 15
Views: 890

Re: cherries

This one tasted good. Enjoyed the economy of language, nothing there that didn't need to be. For some reason it brought to mind this line by Sir John Suckling: "No grape that's kindly ripe could be/ So round, so plump, so soft, as she, / nor half so full of juice!"
by Mic
Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: through through and through
Replies: 14
Views: 1107

Re: through through and through

Og, David, Suzanne - thanks for your comments. I might try it as a performance piece at Hammer & Tongue tonight. But other than that, I'm through with this one!

Mic
by Mic
Wed Jun 03, 2009 6:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Complex heights
Replies: 14
Views: 879

Re: Complex heights

Lovely - thanks!
Neil - most appreciate your frank remarks.
Ros - Erm, I'm not exactly sure what would happen re ice in boiling oil. I'll give it a go tonight, and report back. And thank-you too, for technique suggestions.
by Mic
Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:25 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Complex heights
Replies: 14
Views: 879

Complex heights

Complex heights Love travels with you, you say, as we move together towards greater complexity I run my fingers through your well-kept words Climb upon the sinewy back of your telescopic sentences The afternoon - far below - has its fingers in its ears Its foot on the accelerator Dishevelled senten...
by Mic
Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:22 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Daily (My daily visitors)
Replies: 8
Views: 558

Re: My daily visitors

Amusing portraits of Desire, Prudence and Sweet Contentment. Prudence is a bit of rude guest, no? This I like, goes against type (I imagine parsimonious Prudence as careful, considerate, meticulous). Your foot-stamping, crabby, bad-tempered Prudence is funny. I like the 'sustain' / 'rain' half rhyme...
by Mic
Wed Jun 03, 2009 9:00 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: First shower of July
Replies: 5
Views: 319

Re: First shower of July

These have a coy, quiet beauty about them. I like the sequence of them. Satisfying. Like dropping pebbles in a pond and watching the ripples spread out. No. 3 has the best ripples, for me. Instead of 'read out' I wonder if 'announce' would work?
by Mic
Wed Jun 03, 2009 7:44 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: through through and through
Replies: 14
Views: 1107

Re: through through and through

Ray, Sharra, Ros and Brian - sincere thanks for your candid feedback. This is the point, no? So no apologies needed, no offense taken. It's scary - but exciting - up here. I look forward to the spectacle of one or two more of my babies being lobbed off the cliff alive and screaming.
by Mic
Tue Jun 02, 2009 3:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: through through and through
Replies: 14
Views: 1107

through through and through

through through and through through slap, through slew through slam, through slight through floe, through flux through flinch, through flight through dimming days through gleaming nights through untold tales through complex heights through bone, through pain through ache, through vein -- love trave...
by Mic
Tue Jun 02, 2009 3:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I concede
Replies: 12
Views: 827

Re: I concede

I like 'decorum'. I like how it collides with "They can all piss off" later. I like the way its pomposity can do nothing but concede ground to her straight-forward, no messing, tell it how it is, own-minded 'They can all piss-off'. He's a bit stuck-up (but nice enough). She's ace (in my opinion). Ha...
by Mic
Tue Jun 02, 2009 2:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Stains (revised)
Replies: 15
Views: 862

Re: Stains

Gritty, but poignant. I am probably massively missing the point, but this poem seems to me to be about an ordinary mum that has lost the battle to breast cancer. The prosaic language and 'breezy' references to gruesome details (the discarded fake breast, gummy lipstick imprints) I find rather moving...