Search found 1650 matches

by Mic
Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Pygmalion.
Replies: 22
Views: 2236

Re: Pymalion.

I do sometimes try to sneak them in, but my editor is a semicolon assassin, he tracks them down and mercilessly separates the head from the tail.
by Mic
Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Pygmalion.
Replies: 22
Views: 2236

Re: Pymalion.

I remember being taught in a 'rule-of-thumb' sort of way that a semicolon is "more emphatic than a comma and less emphatic than a full stop". I confess to being deeply nervous around them! (But do have a fondness for them).
by Mic
Wed Jul 01, 2009 11:08 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Seamstress (On Her Pedestal) - revised
Replies: 10
Views: 636

Re: The Seamstress (On Her Pedestal)

Thanks Lovely.
Aru - you are right, you are right. I cover my eyes and ears when I get to tension/attention. And you are right about the end. But I'm a bit stuck.
by Mic
Wed Jul 01, 2009 7:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Andrew
Replies: 7
Views: 548

Re: Andrew

Hi Andrew,

Is your first poem about a miscarriage of justice? Someone in prison through an 'admin' error? Is the 'get off the phone, on the floor' part a shout from a prison gaurd?

Your response to Lovely was horrible and uncalled-for.

Mic
by Mic
Tue Jun 30, 2009 10:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Seamstress (On Her Pedestal) - revised
Replies: 10
Views: 636

The Seamstress (On Her Pedestal) - revised

Nimble fingers thread hope through Love’s needle and She sets to work. She fits a neat pleat of gold in sun’s light, embroiders star-blooms on the blanket of night. A nifty double-stitch in Tomorrow’s seams, fresh colour woven through faded dreams. She unpicks fraught knots of suspicion, sews sequin...
by Mic
Sun Jun 28, 2009 7:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Stats - revised, renamed
Replies: 10
Views: 805

Re: Stats - revised, renamed

Thanks Nar.
elph, I've tided up the messy edges as you suggest.

Ta
Mic
by Mic
Fri Jun 26, 2009 9:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Stats - revised, renamed
Replies: 10
Views: 805

Re: Stats - revised, renamed

That's it! 'You may be' - thanks David, Elph and K-j. I feel happy with this now, and think it might even be okay to give it to the person it was written about/for. Thanks very much. Really.
by Mic
Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Stats - revised, renamed
Replies: 10
Views: 805

Re: Compex Statistics Vs. Simple Arithmetic

Thanks Elph.

You are right of course. I'm in denial! I will, I think, change first part to You are, in the hope that the simple arithmetic trumps the complex statistics - both in the context of this little poem, and in my real world!

Thanks for feedback and encouragement.

Mic
by Mic
Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:27 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Kolkata snapshots - IV
Replies: 9
Views: 669

Re: Kolkata snapshots - IV

Hi Aru. I do like these poetically rendered snapshots of the everyday - always. They are kinda like the 'tapas' of poetry, if you get me. Small, colourful, vivid and varied dishes. You manage to make the ordinary shine. And you make it look effortless! But I'm sure there's plenty of elbow greese goe...
by Mic
Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Pygmalion.
Replies: 22
Views: 2236

Re: Pymalion.

Ah, I see. That's interesting - and sheds additional light on My Fair Lady too!
by Mic
Thu Jun 25, 2009 9:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Stats - revised, renamed
Replies: 10
Views: 805

Re: Compex Statistics Vs. Simple Arithmetic

Thanks k-j. packed lunches and unpacked punches is contrived. I've dropped that line.

Mic
by Mic
Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Stats - revised, renamed
Replies: 10
Views: 805

Stats - revised, renamed

You may be at the mercy of so-called experts and their complex statistics, who come to work with their stethoscopes and pressed white coats— but leave their hearts at home. You are cradled by a deeper maths that matters more. It’s simple arithmetic: the world won’t add up if you're not in it. You m...
by Mic
Thu Jun 25, 2009 7:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Drop in the Pot?
Replies: 6
Views: 476

Re: A Drop in the Pot

GP, I enjoyed your vivid opening stanza, especially the "sycthing din of its fall". I could feel and smell the downpour! My heart began to sink as I realised the whole poem was about the rain. That said, I enjoyed the language you used: it was this, rather than the subject matter, that sustained me ...
by Mic
Thu Jun 25, 2009 6:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Pygmalion.
Replies: 22
Views: 2236

Re: Pymalion.

Dear Petronious. Revealing my ignorance, when I saw Pygmalion (typo in the title?) I couldn't help but think of My Fair Lady the musical! + I think you do succeed in conveying that sense of loss and the mixed feelings sometimes experienced when an artist's 'gift' to the world finds itself in the com...
by Mic
Wed Jun 17, 2009 2:55 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Our Albert and Lions
Replies: 3
Views: 288

Re: Our Albert and Lions

Hi Alan. Enjoyed the yarn, and the dialect - could really hear it.

Mic
by Mic
Sun Jun 14, 2009 11:31 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Down among the dead men
Replies: 4
Views: 387

Down among the dead men

Down among the dead men

Drown those sorrows, drink, drink
down among the dead men.

Dutch courage, clink, clink,
a drop, a dram, a generous drop

of double Dutch, double-entry talk,
ten shots shared in good spirits;

then a bad case of double vision.
by Mic
Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Heaven And Hell Through Eyes
Replies: 5
Views: 342

Re: Heaven And Hell Through Eyes

Hello Lovely. First, I liked. Second, you are expanding my archaic vocab, which is not a bad thing (I had to look up 'lea', 'main' and 'mirrows'. I couldn't find a definition of mirrows though, so its either made-up or or you meant 'mirrors'). Verse 1: great view, nicely painted. Verse 2: Esp. liked...
by Mic
Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Miner's Lamp
Replies: 8
Views: 522

Re: The Miner's Lamp

You could cut "away' from the final line.

Mic
by Mic
Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Miner's Lamp
Replies: 8
Views: 522

Re: The Miner's Lamp

To my mind, this is prose poetry - and it works beautifully. I like the double spacing. I'm not quite sure why; maybe it is because there is so much going on between those lines. An effortless, quiet, unpretentious and emotionally charged piece of writing. It took my breath away a little bit.
by Mic
Fri Jun 12, 2009 8:00 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Everything (working title)
Replies: 7
Views: 503

Re: Everything (working title)

How about:

1+40+1 = 42
by Mic
Thu Jun 11, 2009 9:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Pity weeps
Replies: 4
Views: 325

Re: Pity weeps

Thanks R. Cox and Lovely.
I don't think I shall waste any more tears on this one.

Mic
by Mic
Wed Jun 10, 2009 10:27 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Pity weeps
Replies: 4
Views: 325

Pity weeps

Pity weeps

Pity weeps from the effort in your smile
as you dissect the remains - like a professional -
of our love, pinned wide open to the table.

Meaning bleeds darkly from my spilled sentences.
Invisible fingers peel sense from word, like rind from fruit.
My tongue freezes in its dark cave.
by Mic
Wed Jun 10, 2009 10:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: two ships
Replies: 7
Views: 574

Re: two ships

Ros, Ray, Lovely -
Thanks for approval and suggested amends. I'll get the chisel out.

Mic
by Mic
Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Song Of The Three Spirits
Replies: 4
Views: 302

Re: Song Of The Three Spirits

Lovely, you have the poet's eye.
I enjoyed this very much. Agree with Sharra that you don't need the signposts 'Death', 'Soul', 'Life' between the stanzas - especially since the 'reveal' comes in the last stanza (which I would keep).
Lovely, you have a tremendous and deeply instinctive feel for words.
by Mic
Mon Jun 08, 2009 7:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: these words of you
Replies: 10
Views: 674

Re: these words of you

Ah yes! Joni Mitchell, I think, from 'Blue' - I love that album, and especially that song!

Mic