Search found 1650 matches

by Mic
Wed Jul 08, 2009 8:42 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Scenery - title changed and revised
Replies: 7
Views: 502

Scenery - title changed and revised

From the solitary house at the top of the hill the splendid view moves her heart entirely in the wrong direction. She unscrews the top of the cider; draws a blissful swig of scenery-obliterator. Blotto now and the kids are home from school, but at least she’s won this battle with the splendid fuckin...
by Mic
Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Dry dock - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 730

Re: Dry dock

Thanks all.
I've reworked last three lines. It's still a bit of a bumpy landing though, but hey, it's unpunctuated, what can you expect?

Mic
by Mic
Tue Jul 07, 2009 6:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Fishing for chips - revised
Replies: 5
Views: 457

Fishing for chips - revised

Raucous shrieks proclaim their catch. A soggy chip snatched from small weak hands by a yellow beak. Beady eyes seek, they seek. Amidst the salty whiff, the brine, the detritus of a worn-out week, strewn across the pebbled beach. Pesky birds! Fishing for chips like I fish for compliments, you say. Do...
by Mic
Tue Jul 07, 2009 6:41 pm
Forum: Beginners Featured Poems
Topic: Fishing for chips - revised
Replies: 0
Views: 2578

Fishing for chips - revised

Raucous shrieks proclaim their catch. A soggy chip snatched from small weak hands by a yellow beak. Beady eyes seek, they seek. Amidst the salty whiff, the brine, the detritus of a worn-out week, strewn across the pebbled beach. Pesky birds! Fishing for chips like I fish for compliments, you say. Do...
by Mic
Tue Jul 07, 2009 6:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Two Paintings of Venice. MONTHLY FEATURE
Replies: 16
Views: 1403

Re: Two Paintings of Venice.

Congratulations Petronius!

Mic
by Mic
Tue Jul 07, 2009 7:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Remembrance of Things Pissed
Replies: 12
Views: 673

Re: Remembrance of Things Pissed

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
by Mic
Mon Jul 06, 2009 6:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A tidy sack
Replies: 7
Views: 499

Re: A tidy sack

I liked this when I read it by anon. Still do! I enjoy the way the apparant politeness of the first two lines wrongfoots the reader; you deliciously and suddenly confound our expectations with "yank out both your eyes" :lol: And I like the bizzare development of what the narrator thinks about doing ...
by Mic
Mon Jul 06, 2009 12:12 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Dust
Replies: 9
Views: 592

Re: Dust

OMG! You're not suggesting that Ray use of that item of grammar that dare not mention its name, are you, Ros?
by Mic
Mon Jul 06, 2009 11:18 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Dust
Replies: 9
Views: 592

Re: Dust

When I read this (and I've read it a few times now; do like!) for some weird reason I keep thinking of that poem that starts "Had we but world enough and time...". I like the way the miscreant 'self' has somehow escaped from 'my' in line 1, and seems to be on the run. It has a sort of Tom and Jerry ...
by Mic
Sun Jul 05, 2009 5:49 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Schrödinger's Hat
Replies: 32
Views: 2347

Re: Schrödinger's Hat

My post just disappeared. I wonder if quantum theory has an explanation for that? So. What I (think) I know/remember about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, beyond what Og mentions in his post, is that the behaviour of sub-atomic particles (I think that is what they are called) 'changes' at the mo...
by Mic
Sun Jul 05, 2009 5:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Schrödinger's Hat
Replies: 32
Views: 2347

Re: Schrödinger's Hat

The only thing I (think) I know/remember about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle is that the behaviour of sub-atomic particles (I think that's what they are called) changes at the moment they become observed. I'm not sure what the nature of that change would be, it could be a wave collapsing...
by Mic
Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Seamstress (On Her Pedestal) - revised
Replies: 10
Views: 636

Re: The Seamstress (On Her Pedestal) - revised

Dear David and aru,

I've reworked Seamstress as you both suggested I should - thanks. I'd probably have given up on her otherwise.

Yours, gratefully but with very sore fingers, Mic
by Mic
Sun Jul 05, 2009 9:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Seamstress (On Her Pedestal) - revised
Replies: 10
Views: 636

Re: The Seamstress (On Her Pedestal)

Thanks David.
Needle and thread at the ready to repair these holes.
Will repost and challenge you to spot the 'invisible' mending (there is such a thing in sewing circles I'm told)

Mic
by Mic
Sun Jul 05, 2009 9:20 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Dry dock - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 730

Re: Dry dock

Thanks Aru. David has just posted a brilliant poem (of course!) about bad poems.

Mic
by Mic
Sun Jul 05, 2009 9:13 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Flooded hours
Replies: 4
Views: 238

Re: Flooded hours

Another wonderful display of delicate whimsy Aru. The last three are my favourites. I didn't think the second one worked too well - there's a 'laziness' about it that lets the peice as a whole down. There is something a bit 'cavalier' about the word 'some', the ordinariness of the language here is a...
by Mic
Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Schrödinger's Hat
Replies: 32
Views: 2347

Re: Schrödinger's Hat

I was just about to suggest Heisenberg's Hat too! How mad is that?

Mic
by Mic
Sat Jul 04, 2009 7:55 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: "Mum I HATE You" - 3rd draft
Replies: 11
Views: 796

"Mum I HATE You" - 3rd draft

She lines the kids up and without a word takes a swig, lights a cig, strips and stares. Her eldest fled… well, fled/hobbled, doubled with laughter, past the dying Elm, the rope swing, through the thistled field. Cider bottle aloft, breasts all a-wobble she charged… well, charged/hobbled after. That ...
by Mic
Sat Jul 04, 2009 7:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: To Ra
Replies: 18
Views: 1200

Re: To Ra

Hi Lovely. Well, this is Raaaaa angry. Good to get it out of the system I s'pose and get back to your enchanted writings. xx

Michae
by Mic
Sat Jul 04, 2009 7:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mr Spent-Youth?
Replies: 4
Views: 293

Re: Mr Spent-Youth?

Yes, this is a satisfying, effortless, rounded sort of read. An engaging opening, nicely wistful, though realistically resigned. Raaa! 'few fewer pressup' - I guess meaning going to the gymn to much and not letting your hair down enough. In my case I let my hair down too much and didn't go the gymn ...
by Mic
Fri Jul 03, 2009 5:48 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Dry dock - revised
Replies: 12
Views: 730

Dry dock - revised

Syntax in mutinous mood at being so poorly used has fled this poem in disgust dispossessed Apostrophes Ellipses that don’t add much Semicolons lacking emphases rogue Commas that run amok unpunctuated thus this poem fails to sail and is grounded in dry dock revision 1:- Syntax in mutinous mood at bei...
by Mic
Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:45 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Myths.
Replies: 4
Views: 400

Re: Myths.

This feels like an accomplished piece of writing to me Petronious.

Mic
by Mic
Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:23 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Pygmalion.
Replies: 22
Views: 2235

Re: Pymalion.

David -- my last remark was a bit of a non-sequitur. I was thinking about a recent discussion about the rules governing the use of hyphens. I hyphenate 'thank-you' and have recently got into the habit of hyphenating 'to-day' (I just quite like how it looks). But my hyphen use is getting out of contr...
by Mic
Wed Jul 01, 2009 5:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Seamstress (On Her Pedestal) - revised
Replies: 10
Views: 636

Re: The Seamstress (On Her Pedestal)

Thanks Gaz;

PS - great semicolon use!
by Mic
Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Pygmalion.
Replies: 22
Views: 2235

Re: Pymalion.

You'd have thought so, no? I'm generally asked to find an alternative. There seems to be a feeling that the ; is a bit 'flowery', a bit.. 'foppish' maybe - in journalism at least. The semicolon might well be an endangered species. Don't even get me started on hyphens.

Mic
by Mic
Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Pygmalion.
Replies: 22
Views: 2235

Re: Pymalion.

In fact, I think perhaps I should have used a semicolon rather than a comma after the word 'assassin' in my last post.