Search found 1304 matches

by Sharra
Fri Oct 08, 2010 4:13 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Children in Need Anthology
Replies: 8
Views: 1302

Re: Children in Need Anthology

I just emailed a bunch of ppl and these are the ones that got back to me - we thought we should get specific permission to post on the website. I think we prob had more women than men submit though.
If you, David and Kris are ok with it, I'd love to put yours up too - let me know :)
Nicky
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by Sharra
Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Wrong side of the river
Replies: 8
Views: 532

Re: Wrong side of the river

Thanks everyone, there's some good suggestions there, especially re the end and the curtains line. I'm glad it seems to be working well :)
Nicky
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by Sharra
Mon Oct 04, 2010 6:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Featured poems: September 2010
Replies: 8
Views: 652

Re: Featured poems: September 2010

Congrats everyone, well deserved :)
Nicky
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by Sharra
Mon Oct 04, 2010 3:53 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Children in Need Anthology
Replies: 8
Views: 1302

Children in Need Anthology

The anthology is being proof read and will be winging it's way to the printers this week. If you didn't know, quite a few PG people are in this so it's definitely worth buying. There's more info at http://www.wordaid.org.uk . You can also see the cover design there and read some of the poems include...
by Sharra
Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:24 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Wrong side of the river
Replies: 8
Views: 532

Wrong side of the river

He’s hard-hatted, tool-belted, carving out the earth. But something’s out of kilter. I squint to line up the landscape and the river doesn’t fit. He buries my warning in busyness so I settle back, watch him ignore me. Our house sprouts from concrete roots, tiles on timber on bricks, sprinkled with w...
by Sharra
Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:09 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Night Kitchen 2100
Replies: 6
Views: 500

Re: The Night Kitchen 2100

Hi Marc This is an interesting form to use for quite a dark topic, it lulls you into the rhythm, but inside it there are these disturbing images. I think some stanzas are working better rhythmically than others, and I think in some places you could make the language work a little harder. I liked ‘cr...
by Sharra
Sun Oct 03, 2010 8:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Knowing the score
Replies: 5
Views: 404

Re: Knowing the score

Hi Ros I liked the feel of this, and I could really see this happening in front of me. It does feel like you have something here, but I do have some nits. I can see you’re going for something sonnety here, but I do think it could be chopped in places, hopefully you can do so without messing up the f...
by Sharra
Sat Oct 02, 2010 7:18 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Got it!
Replies: 9
Views: 1213

Re: Got it!

Congrats Ros :)
by Sharra
Sat Oct 02, 2010 5:18 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Public Footpath another version
Replies: 14
Views: 981

Re: Public Footpath another version

On iPod so just a quick comment. For me this second version is actually much weaker - it has lost the beauty of the first I feel - it feels much more dilute and wishy washy.
by Sharra
Fri Oct 01, 2010 4:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Public Footpath another version
Replies: 14
Views: 981

Re: Public Footpath

I too really like this, it has a lovely tone and as others have said, it does feel like there’s a lot more going on here than we’re being told. I also think that it does need a little editing, and also that as it’s such a short poem, its going to be a pain in the butt to edit. I think it feels a lit...
by Sharra
Fri Oct 01, 2010 4:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The man who ate the world
Replies: 8
Views: 604

Re: The man who ate the world

Ian, have we seen this before? It’s ringing some bells with me. To begin with, I love the title, and I think that repetition of ‘He eats’ at the beginning is great. There’s a few line specific nits I’ll come to in a sec, but for me the thing that struck me most was the feeling of distance between th...
by Sharra
Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:55 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: After
Replies: 6
Views: 496

After

This silence suspends itself like a blank canvas. We sketch words with whispers, our speech leaving trails like fireflies in June. Across my lips you paint the pale pink morning, bruised by the black of yesterday, and somewhere between these brushstrokes are the promises you made – the ones I can’t ...
by Sharra
Mon Sep 27, 2010 1:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Carpentry at midnight
Replies: 10
Views: 647

Re: Carpentry at midnight

Hi Ros I’m also not sure what this is about (although that’s not necessarily a bad thing). There seems to be a lot about imagination and wish fulfilment in here. I’m not sure whether the ‘you’ is a real person and these are 2 people living separate lives, (the ‘real arms’, ‘follow you’, and the link...
by Sharra
Sun Sep 26, 2010 2:57 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: On poetry as a pastime
Replies: 5
Views: 957

Re: On poetry as a pastime

'chavs' doesn't mean just males afaik :)
by Sharra
Sun Sep 26, 2010 7:52 am
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: Short article to read
Replies: 3
Views: 1199

Re: Short article to read

Hi Steve
nice to see you popping in to PG - an entertaining read, thanks for sharing :)
Nicky
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by Sharra
Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: frosty sail
Replies: 23
Views: 1410

Re: frosty sail

Ok Aaron you argue like my 16 year old son on a bad day. I'm locking this thread. I suggest you think carefully and decide if you want to join us or not.
Nicky
by Sharra
Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: frosty sail
Replies: 23
Views: 1410

Re: frosty sail

Ok Aaron to be blunt - your work is not 'difficult' it's uncoordinated and all over the place. And even if you had arrived saying you had a phd in poetry we would still be saying the same thing. As I said in my crits you do produce some startling images but that is not enough. If you're not here to ...
by Sharra
Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: frosty sail
Replies: 23
Views: 1410

Re: frosty sail

I second all that Ros has said. The bottom line is what are you hoping to get from workshopping on a poetry forum? If it's constructive impartial advice from people who know what they're talking about - then stay and learn. If you just want admiration for how 'edgy' and 'controversial' you are - the...
by Sharra
Sat Sep 25, 2010 3:12 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: frosty sail
Replies: 23
Views: 1410

Re: frosty sail

Hi Aaron I'm glad you don't mind that we're sharp - with that in mind PLEASE stop spamming your blog - stick it in your sig if you want, but really, it's not the way to make friends. You are not the only published poet on here, we actually have quite a few... :mrgreen: What I will do, is move this t...
by Sharra
Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: frosty sail
Replies: 23
Views: 1410

Re: frosty sail

This was a weird one for me to crit, by the time I'd written the crit, I had to rewrite it as my opinion had changed. This is what I said first... Like Ray, I’m not really sure what this is about, it feels a bit like a (bad) trip. You have some really good lines in here, but I couldn’t feel much coh...
by Sharra
Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Art of Stoning
Replies: 49
Views: 2955

Re: The Art of Stoning

Ok, I’ve switched of the emotive part of my brain now. As I said before, this really whacked me. I do think though that cutting it back a little would make it even more effective. In places it feels a little over loaded. I printed this out and scrawled all over it, so please excuse me pasting in an ...
by Sharra
Sat Sep 25, 2010 1:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Ice cream
Replies: 14
Views: 920

Re: Ice cream

Thanks Delph
I've taken on board almost all your suggestions, and I especially liked butterfly-light. :)
Nicky
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by Sharra
Sat Sep 25, 2010 12:16 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Potholing - edited
Replies: 10
Views: 624

Re: Potholing - edited

Thanks for the comments (even the slightly ahem 'tipsy' ones ;) )
Brian I really liked your idea of swapping the stanzas so have shifted the lines about a fair bit.
Nicky
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by Sharra
Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:01 am
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: The web and Prufrock
Replies: 3
Views: 628

Re: The web and Prufrock

Ooh *looks around for a suitable victim* Any volunteers?
by Sharra
Fri Sep 24, 2010 7:12 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Acquaintance
Replies: 10
Views: 730

Re: Acquaintance

hahaha this really made me chuckle - thanks!
This feels like it ought to be displayed in sepia with punch style line drawings beside it.
No real nits other than the line - to make you uncomfortable, glum or perspire / with any hint of awkwardness or strain felt a little clunky to me.
Nicky
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